jzeb2008

I don't understand why my addict husband hates me so much. I'm not even living with him right now for him to target me with his guilt and anger. I'm not falling into my regular pattern of arguing back with him when he tries to stir up a fight. I'm standing up for myself when he starts in on me and tell him that I will not be talked to the way he is.I've tried going no contact only to make him madder when I don't answer. I quit crying around him.HE JUST PLAIN HATES ME!!!He told his mom that he purposely gave all of the kids a hug and kiss yesterday at our 2nd visit together but not to me. How hurtful! When will he stop targeting me?

Impurrfect

Sorry you're going through this but he's just projecting his own feelings on to you. I know...I'm an RA and I had a LOT of hatred toward myself, but I often took it out on those closest to me.

I would highly recommend NC. So what, he gets mad? He's mad anyway! All talking to him does is wreck your serenity. FWIW, been on THIS side of the addiction fence, too. NC isn't easy, at first, but it gets easier and is so worth it.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Kindeyes

I don't think he hates you. I think he's pissed off though. And that's ok. You are standing up for yourself. You are taking care of yourself and your children. And he's really mad about it. It's isn't consistent with your past behavior. So he ups the ante to try to get you to lapse into old behaviors and give in to the King Baby demands. It's manipulation and it works.

He owns his anger.....you don't.....until you take possession of it.

Take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke

shinebright7

I remember hearing a story about the Buddha where he says to someone: "This gift of anger you bring...I do not accept."