shortayp18

I saw my ex fiance after not seeing him for 2 months and not talking for. 4 weeks last Friday. We talked for hours he cried..i cried. I told him everything I've been going thru past ciuplr months and i told him i have been seeing a counseler and i went to alanon meetings. He told me that he missed me and everything we had and that he was trying to contact me so much but i wouldnt answer him. He said he wanted to talk to me anr see me and see my niece and take things slow. We hung out a few times after that and things between us were good
Im feeling emotional bc i asked how he felt about us talking and asked if he wanted to be with me. He said your the one thst doesnt wanna be with me..lets just take baby steps and twke things slow and see what happens. And i finally said to him "ive been thinking you said take baby steps...im not Willing to take baby steps when your not willing to make a effort to help yourself. And he said he is not going to completely stop drinking. What does that mean coming from a alcoholic. He knows he cant just slow down hes done it before...so why doee he keep saying it.

secondwind

In my experience it means the addict isn't ready to stop destroying their life yet with their addiction.

I know that is very hard to hear.

shortayp18

i know its so hard. a part of me wants to be like okay you will slow down to be with me okay and give it a chance. But we tried this like 8 months ago and here we are now. i Just wish there was some way that he could realize he doesnt wanna live this life. he has had multiple encounters where he went drinking and he got really depressed and threatened to kill himself and then he kept telling me he wanted help. Im just honestly hoping for one of those moments to come again....