angry as all H E doublehockeysticks
 

My car needed a long overdue cleaning, and I found a vile of white powder . Im pissed because I have no clue how old it is. I showed it to an RA friend of mine and he said it was old . Do I bring it up to my "BF"??? Of course he will say it is from this winter.... it very well could be. He is still in treatment. He could leave whenever he wants. Do I stay silent on this discovery? :a108:

I would not stay silent. I think the best thing to do it to confront him about it....although he may lie about how long it's been there. How long has he been in treatments?

I would throw it out and not mention it... chances are its old, someone elses, or he has no idea how it got there right? :)

since January

Personally I would probably toss it and not mention it, as you know it is old and he is in treatment.... That's just me though!

Toss it, it isn't worth the time or energy, really. And why address it, it isn't like you don't know he is an addict.
Look around he is in treatment and has been, so you know he just didn't leave it there. If he wasn't in treatment he might have actually remembered it.

" If he wasn't in treatment he might have actually remembered it."

Lol. Good point.

I had something like this happen to me when my husband was in rehab. My brother-in-law found it while he was cleaning up my husbands car (just being nice) and it really upset him. I know that I debated on telling my husband about it because he was in rehab at the time, and I figured what was the point. Obviously when he was using drugs, he had drugs. I dont think he purposely left them there for when he got out of rehab, or even if he did... after detoxing and getting help... I assumed his mind would be in a different place.

I cant remember exactly now, but I know I told him about it - but it was much later and he was either almost out of rehab, or home already. It wasnt much of a discussion, he felt bad his brother experienced it, and they may have talked about it - dont know. But other than that, what was there to say? When he was using drugs, he kept drugs around.

Do what feels right to you.

I guess when I'm asking myself a question like this.....I will rephrase it to see if my response to it changes.....it is a way to explore my feelings about it and my own motivations.

I might change it to....."what would be achieved if I brought this matter to his attention?"
Or
"What are my motivations to bring it up?"
Or
"Would I be trying to make a point by bringing it up?"
Or
"Do I have an expected response from him if I do bring it up."


Sometimes when I pose the situation (or question) from several different angles, it helps me to understand me and my motivations better.

Breathe deep and count to......100.....or 1,000.

gentle hugs
ke

I'd say get rid of it, might excite him a bit!

Lily, did you ever consider that you would be responsible for that drug in your car? For example, if you got pulled over for a traffic stop & the police found it?

yes. this is why I was so very angry. me driving around with this stuff in my car. not cool.

Thanks KE. All of these things are true. I guess Im hoping that now he is sober he might feel remorse. I want to yell, I want to smack him upside the head and remind him what an idiot he is for doing those kinds of things and endangering me.
More importantly, I want to know if he has left it there since he went to rehab. I do not think he would tell me if he did though, because he knows if it is "new" then Im done contacting him.
Im going for a visit tomorrow night. I dont think I will say anything. He is tested daily and every time he goes outside, If he used they would know. Using does look like using after all, and all anyone sees in him right now is recovery.
Also, now that I know my car is clean, if I find anything else there would be no denying whos it is. If I let him know I am on to him he might cover his tracks more.
Ugh this sucks, but Im grateful for it. Imagine if I hadnt found it... :react