jzeb2008

A classmate of my 6th grade son's mother passed away from complications due to a recent surgery last weekend. She was only 37 years old and left behind 3 young children (one who is disabled) and an addict husband. My son asked if I could take him to the funeral. This morning, my husband called demanding that I bring our daughter to him while I go to the funeral. He asked why I would even go to a funeral for someone I don't even know. I told him that it was really not any of his business. I told him that it happened to be the wife of one of his friends. He told me that he didn't care. That I'm not taking his daughter. So,I told him that I wasn't going to bring her in;that I would just have my son run in to pay his respects. Then, it's turns from it being wrong to take our daughter to stupid for picking my son up from school for 5 minutes, wasting gas.Not a penny of that gas money came from him! I told him that the whole class and the teachers were going and then he was okay. How crazy!!! I was still mad and told him that one day he will wake up from his fog and feel awful for treating me how he does.DEAD LAST IN HIS LIFE!!! Would he even care if it had been his wife who had died?

dollydo

You are attempting to get a reasonable response and caring feelings from an unreasonable, uncaring person. Not going to happen.

I am sorry to hear of this womens passing...so young, such a shame.

Impurrfect

((jzeb)) - I'm so very sorry of this young lady's passing.

Speaking as both an RA and a recovering codie, your husband just doesn't get it. He's in the "all about ME" mode and sadly, you can't change that.

As ((Dolly)) mentioned, getting realistic responses from an A just isn't going to happen. I WAS that A, and all I cared about was "me, me, ME!"

You did what was right and best for your sun. Your hubby is "quacking". Maybe it would help to translate everything he says into "quack, quack, quack". He's not in his right mind, and there's nothing you can do to change it.

My suggestion is to do what is best for you and your kids. As far as the hubby? Let him do him...you do you and the kids. It's not always easy, but IMO it's the best thing.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

zoso77

You can't reason with the unreasonable. So don't try; the normal rules of compassion and empathy are N/A with an addict.

Best,
ZoSo

laurie6781

As said above you cannot get through to him.

You would have better luck talking to a concrete block wall.

Anytime he opens his mouth, picture the BIG WHITE AFLAC DUCK and all you can
hear is QUACK QUACK QUACK. Try it, it does work, honest.

Love and hugs,

tjp613

<shaking head> Gawd, what an ass. He must be one miserable S.O.B.

Impurrfect

Here's a visual you may want to think of when he is talking...QUACK!!!



Hugs and prayers,

Amy

LoveMeNow

He may look and sound like the same person, but his brain is impaired! If he was stinking drunk and slurring his words there would be visible signs of his impairment. We would know better then to discuss something with someone who is drunk. it would be pointless! However, drug addiction can be, in some ways, more deceiving but his brain is still sick but we can't visibly see it. The auditory is almost too insane to comprehend.

After I googled lizard brain and addiction, I understood so much better. Just a suggestion!

AnvilheadII

what a complete JACK@SS. jzeb, i'm sorry but then again not totally...as maybe this is helping clear your vision about this guy? and maybe helping you de-romance a bit? cuz i don't think you can blame his character and behavior ALL on drugs...i think what you are seeing are his true colors, maybe for the first time.

no chance you can move like 14 states away huh? sigh.

LoveMeNow

no chance you can move like 14 states away huh? sigh

News Flash....we are all coming to WA. We know of a lake front home with lots of serenity. Wont Hank be in for a surprised?? lol

ABIDEBYLAW

Taking your child to show your respects at a funeral/wake in this case is certainly respectable and certainly what I would do without hesitation.
I do not care what any person told me to do in this matter. I am still going no matter how long the line is or how much "gas money" it may take!
You did the right thing and someone at that event will always remember you both attended.
I still remember my Father's ceremony and still admire every person in attendance in self or spirit.
Gob bless you.