horriblethisis

My hubby recently told his therapist that he had been sexually abused by at least four different people while he was a young boy. Along with being an addict, my husband is also a pathological liar (diagnosed by me after looking up the meaning). Does anyone have experience with a spouse who was sexually abused and has "used" to mask pain? How does someone get abused by four different people during a childhood...how do they get in that type of situation? My hubby has lied so very much in the past, and it's not like I don't want to believe this new admittance...and feel it is horrible if it did happen, but I never know if he is telling the truth. Anyone have experience with anything like this? Also, if someone is a pathological liar, is that something that can ever be "fixed" with therapy?

zoso77

None of us here are mental health professionals. Is it possible he has a character disorder? Sure. Is it treatable? Character disorders are extremely difficult to treat. It's not like clinical depression or a mood disorder like Bipolar, where the appropriate combination of medication can provide a buffer where the patient can function.

I can't comment on what your AH has told his therapist. But I don't see what that has to do with you. As I mentioned on a previous post, part of recovery for us means detaching with love from the addicts that are in our life. That doesn't mean we don't love them, or want the best for them. What it does mean is their presence in our lives is pernicious, and for the sake of our mental health, we need to separate from them. As far as how to handle your AH, remember:

If his lips are moving, he's lying.

Best,
ZoSo

Ann

I worked at a rehab for two years, a few years back, and about 60% of the men there had been abused as a child, another 10% or so were abused as a young adult. That`s a pretty high percentage.

I don`t know if your husband is telling the truth but it is something that often remains buried as a terrible secret so personally, I would believe most people who were able to share about it.

Sexual abuse was one issue that we referred out of the rehab to an experienced and qualified psychologist, it is something that needs to be handled with special care. That`s one reason SoberRecovery does not have a forum for this. Sexual abuse is best handled by those qualified and peer support isn`t enough.

dollydo

Addicts lie, they will say anything to either protect or justify their using. After awhile, they even believe their lies, they become more grandious and outrageous.

I don't know if he is lieing or not, I do know that your focus is still totally on him and his issues.

Have you read Codependent No More or Women Who Love Too Much...going to meetings?
If not, I would suggest that you do all three.

Might be time to detach and start working on you.