Kindeyes

I went North yesterday to go to the family meeting at the SA-ARC and spend time with my son.

The meeting went well. I continue to be amazed at the program. It is (IMHO and experience) much more thorough and better than any of the programs my son has been through before (he's been through two in patient and two IOPs). The gentleman who presented was one of the residential managers, an attorney, and former beneficiary of the program. At one point he referred to the 21-28 day programs as "spin dry".....I thought that was a pretty accurate description. They are extremely structured there. The work therapy gives the beneficiaries a sense of accomplishment and gets them back into the structure of working.....a normal life.

After the meeting, my son and I went into the heart of the city and went to lunch. Went to the library. And did a little shopping. We talked and I let him lead the conversation. He is committed to completing the six month program. He sounds and looks good. He said a few things that caused my Codie-ness to jump up at me but I managed to wrestle those thoughts before they came out of my mouth. lol.

I have hope.....but I have to be careful not to have hopes FOR him. He shared his dreams. He shared his own hopes. And I had to remember to simply listen and not jump into that mothering role of commenting on what he had to say that can be so very annoying.

We laughed. We hugged. We walked a LOT. And overall, it was a nice day.

I'm having to catch myself today as I feel myself projecting into the future. I'm going to hold onto the memories of yesterday and keep praying. I have to say that so far......God's doing a much better job than I ever could. lol.

One day at a time......

Thanks for letting me share.

gentle hugs
ke

chicory

Always in my prayers, KE.

What a lovely post. Happy. Made me smile. Your recovery is very encouraging to us codies.

love and hugs
chicory

Freedom1990

What a wonderful post to come back and read after my mini sabbatical! I do understand trying not to be hopeful when it comes to your son. Stay in today, and have faith knowing that our higher power has a plan for each and every one of us.

I know that the rigid structure of the rehab I attended was so important to me. I was totally undisciplined coming in, and had no concept of what structure was. I will always be grateful for that experience, and even though that was back in 1986, I remember everyone working there and what they did for me.

Sending you hugs of support on the chilly Kansas winds today!

LoveMeNow

Sounds like an awesome day. My codieness wants to scream "I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU AND YOUR SON!"

But I will just thank GOD that you had a wonderful day and continue to ask Him to help to lead all of us to a healthy path.

(but I am still screaming inside - progress not perfection, right? )

sojourner

Thanks for your update, Kindeyes. God is good!

laurie6781

Keeping you and your son and hubby in my prayers.

The SA-ARC program is, in my personal opinion, the BEST program out there for those
that WANT recovery!!!!!

I have seen many right here in my city (pop. about 100,000, county about 340,000) come
out of there and do well here. They still attend meetings, give back to the SA and become
productive of our society here!!

Sounds like your son just maybe starting to 'see' the light bulb. I am glad
you had a nice visit with him.

I learned how to stay out of the A's future but still have 'hope.' I would hope
and pray that tomorrow's day for A would be better than today. It really helped me to
stay in the present.

Thank you for the 'good news'!

Love and hugs,

Kindeyes

I've been through this before. I know better than to get too excited. lol. That's part of the roller coaster ride that I just don't want to be on! I feel somewhat emotionally flat.....I know if I soar too high......coming down is a bi*ch......but I do know what you mean.

The other thing I didn't mention is the weight he has put on. He has gained about 25 -30 pounds and it's all muscle. His biceps are huge. His forearms are huge. He's working out a lot and eating a LOT. They keep them very busy with devotional in the morning, work, meetings, chapel, counseling (group and individual), and group activities. He's learning how to live without being high. He said that his head feels clear. And he's sleeping....soundly.

God is good and I'm grateful that I got to spend a day with my son. Not "the addict" but the other person that resides in that body. It's been a very long time since I've seen that person. It was a day I will cherish.

Thank you for your well wishes and prayers. It means more than I am able to expess.

gentle hugs
ke

lightseeker

What a blessing to get to spend the day with your son... Not "the addict". The SA program sounds really good.

I understand about not wanting to get your hopes up.... But for now... What a great day!

Anaya

Very cool! I hope all continues to go well and send wishes that you'll have more days like this together. Thanks for sharing, KE.

shinebright7

Loved reading your sharing, Kind Eyes, thank you. To be able to be in his presence - just him, the boy you know and love, sounds so so great. And to listen a lot and walk together and enjoy the day. Ahhh. I'm glad you got to experience that.

My husband is coming home tomorrow and I'm looking forward to doing the same - listening to him and loving him and not letting myself get too excited about any progress he seems to be making in terms of his AA meetings because that's my codie-way and I finally am starting to get it that I can't keep living that way.

We haven't seen each other in almost a month and he started to go to AA last week. Things have been very up and down with us during this time and I'm looking forward to doing my best to stay connected to me and my Higher Power. The slogan I'm really going to be mindful of is: Live and Let Live

Enjoy those happy memories! xo

greeteachday

Glad you had a good day with your real son, KE...Living the moment and being grateful for the time you share, the love you share and the memory of a special day. Life is good!

julez

Do you mind if I ask his age?

Ilovemysonjj

KE, that is wonderful. It feels so good to be able to converse and interact with the person we love instead of the addict. I thank God you had an amazing day with your son. Every day that we wake up and get to live life is a gift. I am glad your day went so well.
hugs
Teresa

tjp613

I have grown to cherish days like that. I pray you have many, many more, sweet KE. (((Hugs))))

Hanna

Sounds like a wonderful day. Makes me smile to read about it.

Lily1918

this is exactly how I feel today!!!!! Im sorry for not posting sooner, do you know the saying one is to many and a thousand is never enough? That's how I feel when I know that he is sober. This post is inspiring for me KE. Im so glad you got to experience a good day. Im so glad that you got to see your son. I wish I was far enough along in my recovery to remain flat like you do. I am trying, thank you for your ESH

Ann

I am so glad you two had this magical day together.

I also think the Salvation Army programs are among the best there is out there.

Hugs

allthatsgood

KE, so happy to read you had a wonderful day with your son. You and your son are in my prayers.

MsPINKAcres

KE - those days are like precious water to the thirsty soul ~

I cherish the ones I have had with my daughter - I am grateful to say they have happened more often lately

Learning our part is the letting go, letting God and letting each one of have the dignity to live our own lives are difficult lessons but we all reap the rewards ~

continued prayers & good thoughs for both of you

pink hugs,

Lara

Dear KE... what a wonderful day. It is good to sometimes 'just be'. There is nothing wrong with hope either.... hope is belief that all will be well. And a belief in God - that ultimately we are all loved and safe.