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-   -   Reteaching loveliness... (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/286817-reteaching-loveliness.html)

shinebright7 03-08-2013 09:59 AM

Reteaching loveliness...
 
Yesterday in one of the daily readers for Al Anon was this quote:

"Sometimes it is necessary to reach a thing its loveliness." - Galway Kinnell

The first thing that flashed into mind was my husband. And how lovely he is and how the addiction has covered up his loveliness and how he needs to be retaught what a lovely person he truly is, and how I hope that can happen...

Then in the next breath I remembered that his path and his life are not my priority right now. It's my codependent pattern to want to help and fix and make other things better and more lovely. But what about me?

I then felt a softening in my heart to think about my own loveliness that I need to be retaught. My own loveliness that I need to remember and nurture.

Sometimes it is necessary to reteach a thing its loveliness...yes. That's my job right now as I'm in recovery.

Kindeyes 03-08-2013 07:28 PM

Yes.....and in order to be taught or re-taught, the subject has to be receptive to learning. We can control another's desire to learn but we can embrace our own edification.

gentle hugs
ke

Lily1918 03-08-2013 09:44 PM

ya know, I realized this but not in these words amost two weeks ago when I visited my BF. He said, I have become so much more beautiful now that he is not in my life regularly. Im sure it was him testing the waters but its true. I was so stressed about and enmeshed in him I stopped caring how I dressed and my hair went into a plain ponytail with the roots all grown out and scraggly. I had dark, deep circles under my eyes and was about 10 lbs lighter. I think this reading means spiritual and emotional beauty and not just the superficial stuff, but I am learning that I like spending time on myself, not too much to where my world revolves around my appearance, and Im still not one for make up. It is nice though, not to have my roots grown out and to be presentable again.

Kindeyes 03-09-2013 05:30 AM


Originally Posted by Kindeyes (Post 3853160)
Yes.....and in order to be taught or re-taught, the subject has to be receptive to learning. We can control another's desire to learn but we can embrace our own edification.

gentle hugs
ke

lol....we CAN'T control, etc......and evidently I CAN'T spell. lol

Part of my loveliness is being able to laugh at myself (or I could blame it on my iPad's auto spell)........naaaaaa.....I'll just laugh at myself.

Deuce 03-09-2013 12:47 PM


Originally Posted by shinebright7 (Post 3852408)

"Sometimes it is necessary to reach a thing its loveliness." - Galway Kinnell

Thank you for sharing this. I am going to take it and share it with another who I think will also be inspired.

shinebright7 03-09-2013 03:23 PM

Quote should say " to reteach a thing it's loveliness" not reach. Thank you xo

AnvilheadII 03-09-2013 04:23 PM

this is gonna sound schmaltzy as all get out....but back when hank and i first moved in together, i was in the bathroom one day putting on makeup - now mind you i didn't wear a ton of makeup - was mostly eye shadow, mascara, blush...and hank came in and said, ya know i was going to put a little note in your make up bin and tell you that you don't need makeup, not for me, and i love you just the way you are.

i pretty much haven't worn makeup since, except for the rare 2 or 3 times a year occasions. I've been facing the world AS IS for the past 11 years. what he did for me was to let me now that i was ok exactly as is. that took a real leap of faith.

i remember when he told me, baby, I've had all the arm candy, pretty girls, i'd rather be with you.

cough, ouch. ok i know you meant that as a compliment.....sigh.


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