to be continued..
 

Hello good people, How is everyone? I figured it's about time I got back here..I was looking around and realized how much I miss you guys.. Actually thanks to my son..I'll be taking a refresher course. Things had been just going along Pretty Good (I thought) for him. He landed himself a job by me so I temporarily agreed to let him stay with me until the job is finished in a couple months. He has already been here about a month..he really seemed fine.
Well here we go again..His behaviors started changing and I got suspicious and looked in his duffel bag and found 4 needles and a spoon and rubberbands. So i confronted him...he told me "they belonged to his GF"S dad..he"s a diabetic. they accidentally switched bags.
I'm not buying it. I was a CNA and diabetics dont use spoons and bands and their insulin comes in bottles.
he admitted he is using pain killers for his back for work but he denies using the needles.
that being said I still am not convinced enough to throw him out and have him lose his job..i dont know why? I'm just not there yet. God I'm torn again. Anyhow I think we need some prayers and hugs...Thanks for listening
Love yas,
unique

Hi there and Welcome back.

You are not convinced because it is hard, that's why.

It's really stinking hard. Ugh, I know that awful feeling.

But you know, or you wouldn't be here posting about it.

(((hugs))) I'm sorry. It sucks but you know in your heart what is right, right?

Prayers for you and for your son.

If you are wrong, throwing him out will not cause him to lose his job.
When we've got our heads together we solve problems that come along, including ones of finding housing when needed. Basically letting him stay will postpone the inevitable, give chaos an opportunity to visit your home but maybe keep you from having to make a very tough choice.

Ugh...that is SUCH a crappy feeling to find proof of them using.

The first thing I found with my husband was when I went to do his laundry and emptied the pockets of his jeans and out came this little box of Police Mints or something like that that he got on Amazon...

They were to cover up your breath in case you were drinking.

I was LIVID!

I poured them out all over his laptop so he would see them when he woke up and I left some snarky note with them and left the apartment.

When I came back they were cleaned up and in the garbage.

We talked about it and he made up some excuse about them helping his sinus condition and him liking the flavor of them.

SO LAME!

I was like, well get some other friggin' mints for your sinuses and your taste buds, all right? If your'e not using them to hide that you've been drinking then why get them at all!?

I was in denial and this point -- angry as all get out, but didn't get it that he was in an addictive pattern at this point. We were only married a couple of months maybe at this point -- and I just thought he was being stupid, but really it was him in his sickness I have come to find out.

So sorry you're being lied to. I know it can be maddening.

Through reading and talking with others I've come to see that my snooping around in his stuff now is a way that I stay codependent. Counting my pills to see if he's taken any, and all that crap. It's all in an effort to try to control him and it's just going to keep making me sicker as long as I keep engaging in that behavior.

So thats' why I'm in my own recovery right now with Al Anon...and thank God for that!

Really looking forward to going to my meeting tonight. There are two al anon meetings that I really like the people at so far and this is one of them.

How about you...do you have a support group locally you can visit?

Great that you're back at the forums now. I just joined this weekend and I'm super grateful.

'NIQUE!!! I was just tickled when I saw you here but am really sorry for the reason. It just stinks when we get that kick in our stomach and find out that the revolving door just went around again. I really hope he can find his way back soon.

Can he find his own place now? I hate to see you put in harm's way if he is using...and sorry, sweetie but it sounds like he sure is. I know you have to do what you have to do and if you decide you want to let him stay, please batten down the hatches, hide your vauables and medications and all check books and bank cards too...sheesh, it stinks just saying that.

You know the drill, just know we're walking with you no matter how this unfolds. Don't step on my bunny slippers or I'll have to whack you with the skillet...and you know that ain't pretty. *snork*

:skillet

Love you lots and am so glad you came here, it's a great place to share your troubles and lighten the load.

Hugs and Hugs to Queen 'Nique!!!

I know that "kicked in the stomach" feeling. It's awfully painful and I'm sorry for your pain. I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

Two positives that I see:

1. It sounds like your son has experienced what it is like to be sober before he relapsed and he can always draw on that memory of sanity and serenity if he chooses.

2. Your instincts are very good. They may not have led you to a place of your choosing but they led you to the truth.

PS - Love your signature, Queen!

As Hanna said, it's because you love him.

Who wants to believe that family member is in active addiction, especially a son or daughter. No one. It's a horrible feeling.

Prayers for you (and everyone else, here, too)

welcome back ~

continued prayers & good thoughts for you & your family!

pink hugs!

Welcome back Nique!
I'm sorry you have this right under your nose. There is no other use for spoons, syringes and rubber bands to be in the same bag.

I hope you stick around and get comfy again. The good news is, the refresher courses are free ;)

Thankyou and hugs. It is so good to be back here. Honestly It has been too long.
Anyhow I had a talk with my son. For now i am believing that the stuff really wasn't his...He told me what the father uses the spoon for..that it really was the fathers stuff. This "is" hard. mustered up the courage and told him he has to go..regardless of how he is inserting it...His behavior shows me different.
Well then he started crying, and telling me about "Can't you see how hard I am trying so hard to get my life back together,with working and I am not shooting Heroin!" All I can say for now is;
I lost my toughness.

Dear Unique, I understand, I too have a son whom I love dearly who is a heroin addict. Just keep a vigilant eye on the actions, not the words. we are walking with you (and we call ourselves the Mamma Posse!)
Hugs
Teresa