i just don't know....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 6
i just don't know....
I haven't posted for a while now, more because i've been pushing my addict brother out of my brain (or trying to). After his last relapse in august i stopped talking to him untill after he came out of rehab (mid october). He was "doing well, best he had been in years" so he said...only a month later he was back at it...biiiiig surprise! i knew it the second he didn't show up to my birthday. I haven't said i word to him since...3 months.
what has sparked me writing is, I work in healthcare, i see all sorts of crap but what hit me was a patient i had who was in his 50s, and his past medical history was....alcohol abuse, narcotics abuse, chronic this, chronic that etc....and lives in a group home.
...I went to go meet him, like i do all my patients, did my normal interview, asked him a billion questions...then it hit me, this is my brother in 20 years. His brain is mush, he has no family left that will speak to him, hes suffering from every chronic illness under the sun and he has spent the last 4 decades struggling with his addiction.
i deal with addiction, disease, mental illness every day...atleast 90% of my patients are struggling...but this guy...there was something about him. If it weren't totally unprofessional, i would have asked him straight out...is there anything i can do?
i miss my brother & best friend...
what has sparked me writing is, I work in healthcare, i see all sorts of crap but what hit me was a patient i had who was in his 50s, and his past medical history was....alcohol abuse, narcotics abuse, chronic this, chronic that etc....and lives in a group home.
...I went to go meet him, like i do all my patients, did my normal interview, asked him a billion questions...then it hit me, this is my brother in 20 years. His brain is mush, he has no family left that will speak to him, hes suffering from every chronic illness under the sun and he has spent the last 4 decades struggling with his addiction.
i deal with addiction, disease, mental illness every day...atleast 90% of my patients are struggling...but this guy...there was something about him. If it weren't totally unprofessional, i would have asked him straight out...is there anything i can do?
i miss my brother & best friend...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 105
Sorry to hear about your brother. I also work in healthcare and see overdoses and alcohol toxicity patients come into the hospital everyday. I used to think I was better than them, but no longer. Maybe just luckier now that I've stopped denying my problem.
My older sister was also an alcoholic. Was in and out of rehab three times. We didn't have a good relationship for other reasons, so I wasn't close enough to try and even help. I don't think I could have helped anyways. Well, she died ten years ago at age 48. That should have been my wake-up call, but instead it took me ten more years.
It's up to the addict to decide to change. Don't blame yourself if your brother never decides it's his time. I hope he does.
My older sister was also an alcoholic. Was in and out of rehab three times. We didn't have a good relationship for other reasons, so I wasn't close enough to try and even help. I don't think I could have helped anyways. Well, she died ten years ago at age 48. That should have been my wake-up call, but instead it took me ten more years.
It's up to the addict to decide to change. Don't blame yourself if your brother never decides it's his time. I hope he does.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I am sorry about your brother, my son has been "out there" for years and I am afraid this may be how life turns out for him too.
The thing is, I have no control over what may or may not happen to him. He may choose recovery or he may die, and there is nothing I can do to influence how this will unfold, except to pray for him each day and ask God to watch over him.
What helped me most of all, to find my balance and sanity in all this, was to find a meeting and work a program that literally saved my life.
Toronto has a wonderful CoDA program, it used to be my home group when I lived there and was a wonderful source of support and knowledge. Maybe give it a try and see if it doesn't help you too. Also, Al-anon and Nar-anon have helped many here and are worth checking out.
Hugs
The thing is, I have no control over what may or may not happen to him. He may choose recovery or he may die, and there is nothing I can do to influence how this will unfold, except to pray for him each day and ask God to watch over him.
What helped me most of all, to find my balance and sanity in all this, was to find a meeting and work a program that literally saved my life.
Toronto has a wonderful CoDA program, it used to be my home group when I lived there and was a wonderful source of support and knowledge. Maybe give it a try and see if it doesn't help you too. Also, Al-anon and Nar-anon have helped many here and are worth checking out.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I understand how you feel. Every time I past a homeless person, my heart aches.....for them, for their families, for myself, for my son. Although my son is currently in recovery (again), I understand that he is only one bad decision away from landing right back where he was....homeless, dirty, hungry, addicted.
But I know that I don't control this.....he does.....and acceptance that I am not his life pilot helps me to stay out of the way.
You and your brother will be in my prayers.
gentle hugs
ke
But I know that I don't control this.....he does.....and acceptance that I am not his life pilot helps me to stay out of the way.
You and your brother will be in my prayers.
gentle hugs
ke
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