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Old 02-22-2013, 09:08 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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My boyfriend is a drug addict, I met him in church 2 yrs ago
We fell in love with each other.
He said he had a secret to tell me.
Than he said he was in a rehab program
And told me his story and how he was doing much better.
Well we started dating he got out of rehab.

I just recently found out that he never quit
He still kept using. And now he got kicked out of his house
So now he went into another rehab center
In California I live in Virginia..
He called to tell me he made it thru 36 days clean
But two days ago he relapsed.
Any advice?? I get very deppresed I miss him but at the same time
I really wish he would quit and get his life together.

Don't tell me to leave him because I can't I've tried and I just love him too much
He is so kind and sweet to me!! Perfect I would say if it wasn't for the addiction.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:22 PM
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Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
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Perfect I would say if it wasn't for the addiction.
Hi. Most people say that about the person that they love. But nobody is perfect and addiction is not a minor problem. It's not easily overcome. It destroys families and lives. It kills people. Many people never recover and those who do have to work really hard at recovery in order to stay clean forever.

I think the best thing you can do when your boyfriend is away is learn all you can about addiction. Learn about codependency and enabling. Take a good look at yourself and decide what you will and will not accept in a relationship. Maybe look into alanon meetings and consider working a program of recovery so you can be prepared for life with an addict, should you decide that's what you want. At least you'll be able to make an informed decision that way, and you won't be going into things blind to the truth of the situation.

The stickies on this website are a great place to start educating yourself.
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Old 02-23-2013, 06:01 AM
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He will be an addict all his life, it is just a matter of whether he is clean and working a strong recovery program or not, that is it. This is a disease that has no cure and left untreated it will get worse.

Your abf is back at step one, until he gets serious about his recovery he will continue to relapse.

He lied to you about using, addicts lie, going to church or not going to church, it doesn't make any difference, they lie to protect their addiction.

He has been using the entire time you have been with him, you do not know him as a clean person, you only know the addict. Addiction is a serious issue, not to be taken lightly, it has tenacles that reach far & wide and adversely affect everything it comes in contact with.

Read the stickeys at the top of this forum, cynical one's blogs, Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie and another good book, Women Who Love Too Much.

I agree with Kitty, learn all you can about addiction.
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