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Talking to an addicts father

Old 02-20-2013, 07:28 PM
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Talking to an addicts father

As some of you may have been following, my recently ex addict gf has been an issue. I have learned a bit about resisting, and worrying about me, but that's not what I'm here for today.

Her father is a man I still consider a great friend, we've helped each other out a lot over the last year and a half. He's dealing with her all on his own, essentially. Her mother is an addict herself, and is harmful. But, I know he's lost as to what to do.

Would it be a good idea to inform him of information I know about the situation?
And would it be ok to show him SR?
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:38 PM
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Sure share what you are learning in just that way, not what he 'should' do, lol

Also maybe the two of you together could attend some Naranon or Alanon meetings
it sure wouldn't hurt.

Other than that, keep working on you. He will figure it out or he won't since he
has an A wife also.

Wouldn't hurt to pick up a couple of copies of "Co Dependent No More" by Melodie
Beattie (available on Amazon very cheap) and give him a copy with a new Hi-liter
pen and hopefully he will read it and hi lite as hopefully you will also.

As to sharing SR with him? Well, of course! I have shared SR with several folks
I know who were in the 'deep doo doos'. That is what we are here for!

Love and hugs,
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:44 PM
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Yeah, he's divorced from the misses, by the way. My ex is an addict largely due to her mom. Very sad story.

I was mainly wondering, if she's lying to him about something, and I catch wind, should I inform him?

Thanks so much!
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Old 02-21-2013, 05:31 AM
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I feel like I should tell him, but at the same time, I feel like he should know she's lying already.

Just confused as to what is best.
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Old 02-21-2013, 07:28 AM
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In my experience I wouldn't tell him.. chances are he already knows about her drug use.. and another thing to think about is.. blood is thicker then water.. in my situation, my ex's parents were well aware of my ex husband drug issues but they also were in denial about his problem and when I told them they seemed to appreciate my concern but then they turned around and threw me under the bus.. it didn't matter because I was divorcing him anyway.. but that's just it.. she's your ex, she's no longer your problem.. keep it that way
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:15 AM
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Absolutely share SR with him.

But remember the adage about leading a horse to water.

And I don't think you need to tell him she is lying. If he directly tells you anything you can express skepticism or ask "Does that feel right to you?"
But it's likely he's got the picture already or will soon.
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