Angel1234

So, it's been a helluva few months. I finally found a stash of pills on my addict ex while he was at my house. I don't have to go through the description of what life has been life since his relapse a few months ago. You all know it.

Here's my question. He's blowing my phone up, "please let me talk to you, I'll hand over my life to you, let me talk to you to explain, bla bla bla". He's terrified of me going to his family. He's been lying to them just as much as me for months. It was them I went to a year ago to reach out to them when I felt they needed the truth/ After that, he went to rehab. They have NO CLUE what's gone down during the last year post rehab for him. His constant relapses. His lies to them. His manipulations. I haven't said anything.

His parents are also his employers. These texts I'm getting today from his are things like "please talk to me before you tell my family, you will end my family, they will never talk to me again, i will not have a job, i will never have a family again, do you want to end me, bla bla bla".

I believe the only reason he's even begging me to talk to me is because he's afraid of me telling his family something. the BS about how he loves me so much he'd do anything for me I think is just that........BS. It's a way to get me to not tell his family anything?

My question is what would you do if you were me? I'm lost. Do I tell them? These are people who deserve to know the truth. They have him running their transportation business while he I'm sure has had people come down there during business hours to give him drugs. He's been high at work running their business. They have no clue. They've been just as lied to, as blinded, and as manipulated as I have been. So, do I tell them?

I will talk to him first after work today but I am really struggling with what I do afterwards.

jerect

From my own experience don't tell his family.. It's just going to cause more problems for you in the long run.. What will you gain from telling them??? I told my EXAH's parents and I regret it.. When he was confronted he denied everything and I looked like the crazy soon to be ex wife... Best thing to do is go NC and block his number and walk away... His parents will find out the truth about his drug use.. You can't hide addiction..

Freedom1990

My two cents? He's an ex for a reason, yes?

I really have to take a deep look at my motivations when my action could potentially affect (and hurt) others.

When I was fresh out of rehab and separated from my EXAH, I was pondering what to do over our separation (in other words I was looking for a way to control things).

I prayed and prayed. I had a light bulb moment and was sure that my higher power had spoken to me.

The next day I went to talk to my sponsor before I did anything, and I excitedly told her about God's will and my decision to contact EXAH's parole officer.

I deflated in a nanosecond when she looked me squarely in the eye and said, "That is not God's will. That is DeVon's will."

Yeah that was painful and humiliating for me, but you know what? She was right, and I began to see the difference between God's will and mine.

Angel1234

OK thanks for the feedback. You are all right. I will not contact them.

Angel1234

I'm so happy this community exists. You just stopped me from doing something stupid.

AnvilheadII

if he's your ex why are you still "talking after work" or receiving text messages that serve no healthy purpose? maybe it's time to the put the EX in EXIT?

stucna

i was wonder the same. should i tell his parents? one of my friends said i should as it might save at least a little bit of his life. last week i got a text from his mom asking me to speak to my ABF and ask him to pick up her phone. and then i realise that he pushed them away as he did with me and letting them know will just cause lots of stress and pain for them. it wont help anybody...

your story is different as he works for them, but! he is your EX, so you are free and not responsible for his problems. he makes his own choices and sooner or later his parents will find this story out anyway...

Hanna

Why haven't you blocked his calls and texts?

Only if they ask you anything then I would tell them the truth. Once, briefly and bluntly- then cut all contact.

story74

If you are/were married to him, then I think I might tell his family. Especially if if kids are involved.

If he was just a boyfriend, and no kids involved...run like hell! change your number. Who cares. The truth will always come out. It isn't your job. No contact/ignore is best. There is NOTHING good that can come from an active addict.

Carlotta

Personally, I d only tell them if his job in the family business entails working machinery, driving etc. anything where he could hurt himself or others when high otherwise, just let it go.