SSHope

It has been a while since I posted. I have been focusing on my own recovery and my husband and daughter. I wanted to ask a question to those who have attended Alanon.

My mom and dad went to their first Alanon meeting on Tuesday night. I was very happy that they took that first step. It has taken them since May to do so. My mom called to tell me how the meeting had gone and said that one of the things they were told was that it would take 6 meetings to know whether or not they truly need Alanon. This surprised me, but having not gone to a face-to-face Alanon meeting myself, maybe this is normal. Is it?

I really hope they stick with it, as they are enablers in every sense of the word, but I also know that they are the only ones who can choose to keep going. Thanks in advance for your thoughts!

rubycanoe

I was told to go to 6 meetings to see if it was for you , I think what they mean by this is after 6 meetings people can see the difference in themselves possibly or their loved ones? I did go to 6 meetings (this was back in 2001 ) and guess what? this was the first time my husband stopped drinking ever!! he needed pills for the withdrawal. he ended up in treatment the next year, but is not doing well again, and I really need to go back to alanon. I believe miracles do happen in alanon , but , I think they say it is not for everyone and find a meeting you feel comfortable. I hope it works out, but it is a lifelong thing, I wish I would have kept going that is for sure.

Lily1918

for me, the first few meeting appeared very negative and I did not want to go back and hear what I like to call "war stories" However, by the time I got to the 4th meeting, I did start to see a change in myself, and I had heard from others experiences enough that I have learned to enjoy it. Its hard to explain, I hope this makes sense

SSHope

Thank you both so much for your responses. It makes sense to me now when you explain it the way you did. I hope my parents can find value in what they hear from others in the group. My parents have told no one about my brother's addiction and I think hearing the perspective of other parents will be important. Having said that, this is their journey, not mine, and I can only continue to pray for them.

Ruby...I am sorry that things are not going well right now. I truly hope that you find the peace that you deserve.

Thanks again!

pianogirl1193

Although I don't often go to meetings regularly, I have been going more recently and I will say that I love al-anon. From the first meeting I knew I needed to be there. I think one of the reasons that they say to go to six meetings is because every meeting is different. Some are smaller, some are bigger, some consist of older people, some younger, etc. Maybe your parents weren't a fan of the first one they went to but maybe they will love the next one. Each one really has a different feel.

You are right, you cannot make them go. Hopefully they will continue to do so though! I think it could do great things for them.

Ann

I had to try a couple of different meetings and then settled in to my own home group and yes, it took me a few meetings to begin to see how it worked in the long term.

At first it was a comfort to surround myself with people who truly understood. Then I saw people who had been through worse than I had gone through and yet they were okay, they had an inner peace that I wanted so much and I learned that it would take time and work but that I could have what they have too, if I was willing to do what they did.

I have never ever, not once, regretted sticking around.

I really hope your parents find this peace too and a happier way of living.

Hugs