kthopkt

My brother will be getting sentenced next week for the atv he stole. I told him I would write him and give him my address so he could write me. Part of me is holding back because I am all out of words. Not sure what to even write anymore; maybe I could just tell him to write me if he needs someone to talk to.

I want to be there for him without falling into enabling but struggle with doing so.

I stress and worry so much about him, and have done so for 15 years. Sometimes my worrying takes over and I just don't know how to stop. I know my problem (addiction to him) is as bad as his but I don't have it in my heart to just turn my back on him.

I know we are suppose to focus on ourselves and let go but that is the hardest thing in the world to do.

hello-kitty

If you aren't willing to give up your addiction to him, it's a lot to ask of him to give up his addiction for you.

He's safe. He's warm. He's got 3 hots and a cot guaranteed for a while now. If he wants to recover he will. You being there or you not being there isn't going to make a lick of difference to his recovery either way.

You have to do what you can live with but it is what it is kthopkt. And if you aren't willing to do whatever it takes to find your own serenity at least you are fully aware of what the consequences will be.

dollydo

Have you considered therapy? IMO you are obsessed with him and his issues.

If you stay in contact with him you will be sucked back into the vortex of enabling, you keep doing the same things over and over again and expect a different result, that is not going to happen. He knows your weaknesses and will once again play up to them to get
what he wants.

Please focus on you and your husband, get the help you need to move past this addiction to him and his self created problems.