jzeb2008

I can not take anymore crap from my opiate addict husband. He doesn't hardly speak to me anymore and if he does it is to insult me and put me down for EVERYTHING that I do or don't do right. I am the only one that he treats like that. He comes in and talks nice to everyone else in the house nicely and shoots me a hateful look and says something ugly. As if I'm the dog hiding under the table chewing on his shoe.He went from working 7 days a week (yet hardly paying for anything except his pills, beer and cigarettes) to getting laid off temporarily and not caring about ever going back or looking for other work. We have 6 children between us and I am a stay at home mom trying to go to school. He now just panhandles or users other addict to keep up his habits (including his mother for her pills or he fixed income) I'm working with a sponsor and trying not to argue but now he barely even let's me sleep in my own bed.This morning I had enough of him screaming at me for no reason and I told him to get out of my house. But he'll be back. Any advice would be appreciated.Thanks.

laurie6781

If in fact it is your house, CHANGE THE LOCKS and put his clothes outside in garbage
bags. Be prepared to call 911. Since he doesn't help pay for anything, he is getting a free roof over his head, food, utilities, etc

If his name is also on the mortgage or lease, then talk to your nearest Domestic Violence Shelter. They have lots of services available to you, including counseling for you and the children. He may not be physical Yet, however, his verbal harangue are
also ABUSE and sometimes the mental and emotional abuse is much worse. They can also help you get a 'protective order' to keep him away from you and the children.

You are seeing the Progression of the Addiction. It isn't going to get any better.

Since the children are seeing this have you found any therapy for them yet? His behaviors are already and will continue to affect them.

Please continue to post and vent and let us know how you are doing. Please read the 'stickys' at the beginning of this forum as there is a lot of info there. Read around the forum and you will fast see that you are not alone.

We will walk with you in spirit!

Love and hugs,

GardenMama

Verbal abuse is as serious to professionals as physical violence because it takes a toll on your psyche. Get some support for yourself, ASAP, please. We are here, but there are many real live human beings in your community who are trained and ready to help you find a better living situation. This sounds completely devastating. You might not realize how devastating until some time after you have left, or he has left, but trust me.

Shelters are the best place to start. So is reading: Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry & Violent Men is one of the best.

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men: Lundy Bancroft: 9780425191651: Amazon.com: Books

Please don't minimize the gravity of your situation. If there are children witnessing this treatment, and believe me they notice that you are not being treated well when they are, it adds another level to my plea that you get help.

I am with Laurie--change your locks, file for separation, call a shelter for counseling support (24 hours).