Why did/do you come to SR?
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Why did/do you come to SR?
When I originally joined SR, it was to find help for my husband. But I was also looking for information on how I could tell if he was using or not. Looking for those tell tale signs.
I am sure I was seeking some attention and validation too. I needed a place to vent - somewhere where I knew others would understand all the different emotions I was experiencing. I was still in denial and felt terminally unique.
Along the way, I learned I had my own recovery to work, which was a complete and foreign concept. I learned I was codependent and my husband's addiction magnified it to a whole new level. I learned I had some hard but rewarding work ahead of me.
Today, I come to read others ESH and know there is another way. When I read the posts of people who have really work a recovery, I am still inspired by their wisdom, strength and serenity.
I have learned to ignore or "take what I want and leave the rest." I now know I can trust my instincts and intelligence to sort through bloviating opinions verses true ESH. I know whose paths I want to follow and whose light is shining bright. I may not be there yet, but I can spot who you all are now. That in itself is growth for me.
Lastly, I know what and who I want to be. I struggle to get there but I know I will get there. Other people's opinion do not define me and I will always try to be true to myself and my own core values.
So today, I come here for ME, to learn, grow and follow the path of those who have walked before me. That is the true gift of SR for me.
I am sure I was seeking some attention and validation too. I needed a place to vent - somewhere where I knew others would understand all the different emotions I was experiencing. I was still in denial and felt terminally unique.
Along the way, I learned I had my own recovery to work, which was a complete and foreign concept. I learned I was codependent and my husband's addiction magnified it to a whole new level. I learned I had some hard but rewarding work ahead of me.
Today, I come to read others ESH and know there is another way. When I read the posts of people who have really work a recovery, I am still inspired by their wisdom, strength and serenity.
I have learned to ignore or "take what I want and leave the rest." I now know I can trust my instincts and intelligence to sort through bloviating opinions verses true ESH. I know whose paths I want to follow and whose light is shining bright. I may not be there yet, but I can spot who you all are now. That in itself is growth for me.
Lastly, I know what and who I want to be. I struggle to get there but I know I will get there. Other people's opinion do not define me and I will always try to be true to myself and my own core values.
So today, I come here for ME, to learn, grow and follow the path of those who have walked before me. That is the true gift of SR for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I came here because my son was addicted and I hoped that someone would tell me how to fix it.....give me the recipe for the magic potion....or tell me exactly what to do so that all could be "ok" again.
I also started going to Al-Anon --off and on....for the same reasons.
Eventually figured out that I needed to be "fixed" and only I could do that. So I worked on me. It is an ongoing effort.
I stay because there are others who are in as much anguish as I was when I first came. And it's 12th step stuff.
The new people who come here are so very important to me.....they help me to never forget where I was and how far I've come. Those who have been here a very long time show me how far I have to go.
gentle hugs
ke
I also started going to Al-Anon --off and on....for the same reasons.
Eventually figured out that I needed to be "fixed" and only I could do that. So I worked on me. It is an ongoing effort.
I stay because there are others who are in as much anguish as I was when I first came. And it's 12th step stuff.
The new people who come here are so very important to me.....they help me to never forget where I was and how far I've come. Those who have been here a very long time show me how far I have to go.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
My ldest brother who had recently walked out of rehab came to visit me. He'd been here for a few days and I knew something was not right. He called an old friend, not a great guy and it set me off. I knew I was in over my head with the whole situation and started googling for help. What a miracle to find you all and SR.
SR has been with me through some of the worst times, when I just didn't think I could take any more. My brother is clean today, but I think my other brother needs help.
I come back even when things are great because I think there is something special about those of us that have lived through/are living through the pain of addiction whether it is our own or that of someone we love. Visiting the forum continues to help me in ways that no other place has helped. Reading other's ESH and sharing my own is a blessing. Here I feel like we all can both give and receive help.
SR has been with me through some of the worst times, when I just didn't think I could take any more. My brother is clean today, but I think my other brother needs help.
I come back even when things are great because I think there is something special about those of us that have lived through/are living through the pain of addiction whether it is our own or that of someone we love. Visiting the forum continues to help me in ways that no other place has helped. Reading other's ESH and sharing my own is a blessing. Here I feel like we all can both give and receive help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
I found SR for me. I was trying to understand addiction. I had no clue what in the heck just exploded in my life.
I am not on as often. But, I still need it. I am still healing. I do like to help others...if I can. It is sad to me at times because it all pretty much the same pain and destruction told in a different way. I have learned ALOT, and wouldn't be in the place where I am at mentally without this site.
I am not on as often. But, I still need it. I am still healing. I do like to help others...if I can. It is sad to me at times because it all pretty much the same pain and destruction told in a different way. I have learned ALOT, and wouldn't be in the place where I am at mentally without this site.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
great question. I came here in May, 2005. I had been dating my ex for 5 months by then and was just beginning to grasp the extent of his addiction (had no idea when we began going out). I also was beginning to grasp how hooked into him I was but had no idea of the extent of MY addiction. At the time I had NO IDEA how satanic crack was nor did I understand the significance of working a recovery program. I knew that I needed to learn everything that I could and I also knew that I needed support and wisdom.
When I got here I was seeking insight and hoping to find other people that had weathered similar storms. Of course, by time I had broken up with him and then had already gone straight back when he said that he was ready to get clean and quit drinking.
I was convinced that he "wanted it" and I was going to be the golden girl who stood by her man while he charged through a 20 year history of smoking crack and transformed into sobriety and recovery. I believed that he had quit all drugs in April, 2005 except for one slip in June.
HA HA. He used right up until he moved in with me in August. He did stay sober though from August, 2005 until I left him in May, 2011. I never estimated the destruction and chaos of living with a "dry" addict...one that never found recovery for his own reasons. He temporarily worked a program just long enough to convince me to marry him in November, 2006. After that it was ALL down hill. The only thing that saved me was my own recovery program, Alanaon, Naranon, and SR.
I recognize myself in ALL of the women that come here determined to stand by their man (and occasionally the few men that do the same). I knew that we were different - oh, don't we all? And initially we were....he stopped using, was convinced he would never go back, etc. I learned though that if you are not feeding your recovery then you are feeding your addiction. The addict in him knew that he had to destroy our relationship (and apparently me) in order to use again. That came out in intermittant abuse, mixed with taunting me and ignoring me. I would have my foot out the door and Mr. Make All the Promises Man would reappear, convince me that this time he meant it. We would have a brief honeymoon period and then as soon as he was confident that I had bought into his game the cycle would start again.
So.....I do know how incredibly difficult it is to leave and stay gone....to go no contact after tormenting myself with attempts to manage it differently. I know what it is like to face financial ruin due to a relationship with an addict. I know what it is like to expose children (not from that marriage) to a man that destroyed our lives and our home with his behavior. I know what it is like to deal with my son's resentment now and live with the repercussions of my choices in terms of my relationships NOW with them.
I also know what it is like to have a son turn towards substance abuse now.
A long time ago I found SR in the hopes of figuring out how to get through this and make a relationship work. Back then, EVERY SINGLE person said the same things to me that we all say now when a new person appears....run while you still can. Except it is almost always too late because the person is already caught by the time that they are posting here. Every now and then someone has the self awareness and self respect to recognize that they deserve better. At least I can say that I truthfully have worked the program that I wished that my ex had worked. It saved me.
I understand that it takes what it takes....I'm not talking at all about the addict.....I'm talking about us. I'm grateful for my experience because it taught me how to attempt to manage my life in context of my son's addiction now. I've learned what detaching with love is....keeping my hands "off" the addict.
I'm struggling right now though...my son lives in a college town where there is heavy duty drug use. One of MY best friend's son lives (lived) there too until 2 weeks ago....he is a 19 year old college student. He was the victim of a home invasion.....they stole 10.00, a small amount of pot, 2 cell phones and then shot my friend's son through the brain at point blank range. He was transferred to a level 1 trauma center and his life is now changed forever. Not only was he shot through the brain but the bullet fragments caused a massive stroke. Who knows if the wrong people thought that he had more than he had or whatever. What I do know is that it just as easily could have been my son.
My challenge today is not how to stay with a addict (recovering or not) but how to cope with the sorrow and pain of a child that uses. And find the happiness and serenity that I know is my birth right. Do I worry and falter? Of course.....but I know how to seek my serenity again and I know that wonderful support is available.
I deeply miss the many people that have moved on for various reasons. I struggle with how tragic addiction is and when I see another woman beginning to travel down a road that became way too familiar to me. But I also know that at the time, it was too late for anyone to stop me and I recognize that the same holds true for others. I can only imagine how I was perceived at first with all of my bright eyed faith that we were going to be Mr. and Ms. Recovery Team. Gag! Oh well. 1 out of the 2 us decided to cross that "bridge". Today I'm grateful that I chose to make that journey and get to the other side.
When I got here I was seeking insight and hoping to find other people that had weathered similar storms. Of course, by time I had broken up with him and then had already gone straight back when he said that he was ready to get clean and quit drinking.
I was convinced that he "wanted it" and I was going to be the golden girl who stood by her man while he charged through a 20 year history of smoking crack and transformed into sobriety and recovery. I believed that he had quit all drugs in April, 2005 except for one slip in June.
HA HA. He used right up until he moved in with me in August. He did stay sober though from August, 2005 until I left him in May, 2011. I never estimated the destruction and chaos of living with a "dry" addict...one that never found recovery for his own reasons. He temporarily worked a program just long enough to convince me to marry him in November, 2006. After that it was ALL down hill. The only thing that saved me was my own recovery program, Alanaon, Naranon, and SR.
I recognize myself in ALL of the women that come here determined to stand by their man (and occasionally the few men that do the same). I knew that we were different - oh, don't we all? And initially we were....he stopped using, was convinced he would never go back, etc. I learned though that if you are not feeding your recovery then you are feeding your addiction. The addict in him knew that he had to destroy our relationship (and apparently me) in order to use again. That came out in intermittant abuse, mixed with taunting me and ignoring me. I would have my foot out the door and Mr. Make All the Promises Man would reappear, convince me that this time he meant it. We would have a brief honeymoon period and then as soon as he was confident that I had bought into his game the cycle would start again.
So.....I do know how incredibly difficult it is to leave and stay gone....to go no contact after tormenting myself with attempts to manage it differently. I know what it is like to face financial ruin due to a relationship with an addict. I know what it is like to expose children (not from that marriage) to a man that destroyed our lives and our home with his behavior. I know what it is like to deal with my son's resentment now and live with the repercussions of my choices in terms of my relationships NOW with them.
I also know what it is like to have a son turn towards substance abuse now.
A long time ago I found SR in the hopes of figuring out how to get through this and make a relationship work. Back then, EVERY SINGLE person said the same things to me that we all say now when a new person appears....run while you still can. Except it is almost always too late because the person is already caught by the time that they are posting here. Every now and then someone has the self awareness and self respect to recognize that they deserve better. At least I can say that I truthfully have worked the program that I wished that my ex had worked. It saved me.
I understand that it takes what it takes....I'm not talking at all about the addict.....I'm talking about us. I'm grateful for my experience because it taught me how to attempt to manage my life in context of my son's addiction now. I've learned what detaching with love is....keeping my hands "off" the addict.
I'm struggling right now though...my son lives in a college town where there is heavy duty drug use. One of MY best friend's son lives (lived) there too until 2 weeks ago....he is a 19 year old college student. He was the victim of a home invasion.....they stole 10.00, a small amount of pot, 2 cell phones and then shot my friend's son through the brain at point blank range. He was transferred to a level 1 trauma center and his life is now changed forever. Not only was he shot through the brain but the bullet fragments caused a massive stroke. Who knows if the wrong people thought that he had more than he had or whatever. What I do know is that it just as easily could have been my son.
My challenge today is not how to stay with a addict (recovering or not) but how to cope with the sorrow and pain of a child that uses. And find the happiness and serenity that I know is my birth right. Do I worry and falter? Of course.....but I know how to seek my serenity again and I know that wonderful support is available.
I deeply miss the many people that have moved on for various reasons. I struggle with how tragic addiction is and when I see another woman beginning to travel down a road that became way too familiar to me. But I also know that at the time, it was too late for anyone to stop me and I recognize that the same holds true for others. I can only imagine how I was perceived at first with all of my bright eyed faith that we were going to be Mr. and Ms. Recovery Team. Gag! Oh well. 1 out of the 2 us decided to cross that "bridge". Today I'm grateful that I chose to make that journey and get to the other side.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
I always love your posts and ESH Lightseeker. Although, I love your username....Lightfinder fits way better today. 
You have come so far and I am always in such awe after reading your posts that are filled with such honesty, humility and inspiration. Thank you <3
You have come so far and I am always in such awe after reading your posts that are filled with such honesty, humility and inspiration. Thank you <3
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: tn
Posts: 663
I came to SR, (as many others have) to "fix" my daughter. I just knew she wasn't like other addicts I had heard about. lol
What I have learned on SR is priceless and has helped me with all areas of my life. I don't post much these days, but come to read others' posts and reply when I feel I have walked in their shoes. Perhaps I will post more since SR has helped me so much. Is everything perfect regarding my daughter? No. But I have learned to be happy with what I have and the family I have. I am at peace.
What I have learned on SR is priceless and has helped me with all areas of my life. I don't post much these days, but come to read others' posts and reply when I feel I have walked in their shoes. Perhaps I will post more since SR has helped me so much. Is everything perfect regarding my daughter? No. But I have learned to be happy with what I have and the family I have. I am at peace.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 68
Wow light seeker. Your post totally hit home with me.
Especially tonight as my addict is out again. I thought we would be the mr and mrs recovery as well.
I came here bc my life was and still is out of control due to my H. I came here bc I didn't know where else to go.
Especially tonight as my addict is out again. I thought we would be the mr and mrs recovery as well.
I came here bc my life was and still is out of control due to my H. I came here bc I didn't know where else to go.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Great thread!
I came to SR purely by accident. I was searching for help for me on the internet and somehow ended up in the chat room here. I had never been in a chat room in my life (and still avoid them as I find them confusing). It was empty except for one member here, SmokeGetsInMyEyes or Smoke as I came to call her. She directed me to the forums and I was so relieved to find others who had been where I was who shared what helped them along the way.
Nobody judged me, even though I had my heels dug in, they just reached out and let me know that I wasn't crazy, I was codependent. I learned to laugh again here, so hard that it hurt. I had not laughed in a very long time and it felt good.
It was smaller here then, about 1000 members, we have grown to about 100,000 in the eleven years I have been here. But the magic remains, the fellowship of people who help each other make it through the dark night of despair. SR saved my life, my sanity and continues to be a place I come to each day to renew my spirit and try to repay what was so freely given to me.
I continue to learn, to grow, and to become the person I want to be. Life is beautiful for me today, even though my son is still lost in his addiction somewhere out there. Recovery, meetings and SR are what kept me going when I thought I could not go any further. I will be forever grateful.
Hugs
I came to SR purely by accident. I was searching for help for me on the internet and somehow ended up in the chat room here. I had never been in a chat room in my life (and still avoid them as I find them confusing). It was empty except for one member here, SmokeGetsInMyEyes or Smoke as I came to call her. She directed me to the forums and I was so relieved to find others who had been where I was who shared what helped them along the way.
Nobody judged me, even though I had my heels dug in, they just reached out and let me know that I wasn't crazy, I was codependent. I learned to laugh again here, so hard that it hurt. I had not laughed in a very long time and it felt good.
It was smaller here then, about 1000 members, we have grown to about 100,000 in the eleven years I have been here. But the magic remains, the fellowship of people who help each other make it through the dark night of despair. SR saved my life, my sanity and continues to be a place I come to each day to renew my spirit and try to repay what was so freely given to me.
I continue to learn, to grow, and to become the person I want to be. Life is beautiful for me today, even though my son is still lost in his addiction somewhere out there. Recovery, meetings and SR are what kept me going when I thought I could not go any further. I will be forever grateful.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
and I thank God, Ann, that this is somewhere you come every day. There is not a day that I don't come here and hope that I find and share some of the light that you bring. You have been an amazing friend to me all along the way.......full of being real, humble, wise, pragmatic, kind, and compassionate.
Years ago when I came here - I "wanted what you had".....thank you for sharing all that you do. You are one of the reasons that I keep coming back!
Years ago when I came here - I "wanted what you had".....thank you for sharing all that you do. You are one of the reasons that I keep coming back!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by lightseeker 
and I thank God, Ann, that this is somewhere you come every day. There is not a day that I don't come here and hope that I find and share some of the light that you bring. You have been an amazing friend to me all along the way.......full of being real, humble, wise, pragmatic, kind, and compassionate.
Years ago when I came here - I "wanted what you had".....thank you for sharing all that you do. You are one of the reasons that I keep coming back!
Years ago when I came here - I "wanted what you had".....thank you for sharing all that you do. You are one of the reasons that I keep coming back!
Lightseeker, your hard work paid off! You have "it" now and many (myself) want what you have now.
Thank you both for giving back. <3
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by lightseeker
and I thank God, Ann, that this is somewhere you come every day. There is not a day that I don't come here and hope that I find and share some of the light that you bring. You have been an amazing friend to me all along the way.......full of being real, humble, wise, pragmatic, kind, and compassionate.
Years ago when I came here - I "wanted what you had".....thank you for sharing all that you do. You are one of the reasons that I keep coming back!
Years ago when I came here - I "wanted what you had".....thank you for sharing all that you do. You are one of the reasons that I keep coming back!
Lightseeker, so many times I read what YOU post my heart just lights up, and LMN, you have always reminded me of "me" when I first came, which is not always a compliment, lol, but it helps me watch you grow and glow with the light you share too.
I've been wintering in Florida, so not as "on schedule" as I am when I am back north, but I'm here, sometimes just reading and sharing when I can. I recharge my spiritual batteries each winter down here, with nature in the Everglades and on the water and just finding peace on an almost deserted beach looking for sea shells. It's part of my recovery and helps me find peace and stay grounded when I get busy again in Ontario.
Love you all, it's the members here that draw me back each day. You are all wiser than you know, stronger than you think, and it's a privilege to call you my "friends".
Hugs and Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
When I first found SR, I was trying to find out how to fix my oldest son imagine that lol
I also believe I was looking for a way to not feel like a bad mom so often society blames parents at least they did 6 years ago,
After SR, I learned I can't fix anyone but I could help me and I also found out I am ACOH, codependent, and that I could do something about that
I also believe I was looking for a way to not feel like a bad mom so often society blames parents at least they did 6 years ago,
After SR, I learned I can't fix anyone but I could help me and I also found out I am ACOH, codependent, and that I could do something about that
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I initially came here because I was stressed out. I didn't understand yet, that trying to impose my will on others was causing my stress. My ego had run amuck.
I stayed here because it helped me put into practice what I was learning.
I still read posts because I have much to learn.
I don't post very often because I've pretty much said it all.
I stayed here because it helped me put into practice what I was learning.
I still read posts because I have much to learn.
I don't post very often because I've pretty much said it all.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
I too found SR by accident.. I had just married my EXAH and I found out he was abusing opiates... I was bound and determined to help him get clean so I started researching ways to do so ( yeah , I've learned a lot since then) I happened on SR and started reading and when I posted my first post I didn't get the sugar coated responses I was looking for.. I got.. What about you??? What are you doing for you??? I remember thinking, what these people are crazy, it's not about me it's about him...
Argggggghhhh.. Like I said I've learned a lot in the past 5 years.. I've learned what codependency is.. Before I came here I had never heard of the term... I've learned that at least for me meetings are a life line even now that the addict is no longer in my life... Some of the vets like Ann, imperfect and Anvil really helped me see the light of day by sharing their own ESH and when I came back with my tail between my legs a few months ago just prior to divorcing my ex.. I was greeted by many of these same people plus a few more that I have come to enjoy and learn from their posts... Light seeker , love me now, vale and crazy baby.. There are many more but it was that dark day when I reached out here that these people welcomed me back with open arms... I've never met any of you guys but your stories and struggles I can all relate too.. This forum has become an important part of my recovery and when I go back and read my early posts I can see how far I've come and how much I've grown...
Argggggghhhh.. Like I said I've learned a lot in the past 5 years.. I've learned what codependency is.. Before I came here I had never heard of the term... I've learned that at least for me meetings are a life line even now that the addict is no longer in my life... Some of the vets like Ann, imperfect and Anvil really helped me see the light of day by sharing their own ESH and when I came back with my tail between my legs a few months ago just prior to divorcing my ex.. I was greeted by many of these same people plus a few more that I have come to enjoy and learn from their posts... Light seeker , love me now, vale and crazy baby.. There are many more but it was that dark day when I reached out here that these people welcomed me back with open arms... I've never met any of you guys but your stories and struggles I can all relate too.. This forum has become an important part of my recovery and when I go back and read my early posts I can see how far I've come and how much I've grown...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Why did/do you come to SR?
......First,to fix something I had no understanding of.
......Second,to learn why I couldn't fix it,and that it was a fools errand to try.....
.......And finally to pay my last respects to a human being who
would never have chosen this horror if she had understood
the full ramifications of her decision that first fateful day.
(Not all little turtles reach the waters edge)
......First,to fix something I had no understanding of.
......Second,to learn why I couldn't fix it,and that it was a fools errand to try.....
.......And finally to pay my last respects to a human being who
would never have chosen this horror if she had understood
the full ramifications of her decision that first fateful day.
(Not all little turtles reach the waters edge)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
Great idea for a thread!
I found SR last June when I googled something like: "daughter Living at home again after rehab?" and an SR discussion was on the first page of results...
I had spent a frantic two weeks trying to find a rehab that had room for my 18yo heroin addicted daughter, finally got her into one, and no sooner was she there, but she wanted to leave. She did stay 28 days (of the 90 paid for by the county), but hoped to live at home while she went to IOP. SR helped me stay firm in my decision to not let her live at home, excruciatingly painful as that was. One of the best posts was from Learn2Live who wrote:
"Although it has been practically used as one by no less than 3 people, my home is not a rehab and I don't hold AA or NA meetings in my living room. I am not a psychiatrist, a therapist, a nurse, or a drug & alcohol counselor, and I'm willing to bet you're not either."
KindEyes, Ann, Impurrfect, CrazyBabie, TJP, TT, BeavsDad, Zoso and many dear others chimed in to support me. Not letting her live at home was the hardest and yet best decision I had made for myself in a long time, at least when it came to her. That is when my recovery began, when "my life had become unmanageable."
This "place" has been a near daily resting place for me when I feel alone, sad, weary, worried, or more often now, just wondering who's on & how things are going. Sharing ESH, reading your replies and troubles and wisdom, has really deepened my understanding of myself and my daughter, now 7 months sober, and has speeded my recovery process tenfold. Thanks, LMN, for starting this thread. Very powerful to read the other posts and to think about this topic myself. Thank you.
I found SR last June when I googled something like: "daughter Living at home again after rehab?" and an SR discussion was on the first page of results...
I had spent a frantic two weeks trying to find a rehab that had room for my 18yo heroin addicted daughter, finally got her into one, and no sooner was she there, but she wanted to leave. She did stay 28 days (of the 90 paid for by the county), but hoped to live at home while she went to IOP. SR helped me stay firm in my decision to not let her live at home, excruciatingly painful as that was. One of the best posts was from Learn2Live who wrote:
"Although it has been practically used as one by no less than 3 people, my home is not a rehab and I don't hold AA or NA meetings in my living room. I am not a psychiatrist, a therapist, a nurse, or a drug & alcohol counselor, and I'm willing to bet you're not either."
KindEyes, Ann, Impurrfect, CrazyBabie, TJP, TT, BeavsDad, Zoso and many dear others chimed in to support me. Not letting her live at home was the hardest and yet best decision I had made for myself in a long time, at least when it came to her. That is when my recovery began, when "my life had become unmanageable."
This "place" has been a near daily resting place for me when I feel alone, sad, weary, worried, or more often now, just wondering who's on & how things are going. Sharing ESH, reading your replies and troubles and wisdom, has really deepened my understanding of myself and my daughter, now 7 months sober, and has speeded my recovery process tenfold. Thanks, LMN, for starting this thread. Very powerful to read the other posts and to think about this topic myself. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 156
I came here the day I kicked my exabf out of my house. I googled 'how to get over a drug/alcohol addict' and found my most favorite place. All of you have been so helpful and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I thought it was me, I was the crazy over reacting one...like he would always tell me. I needed help for me. Someone who understood what I was going through. My friends didn't and I hid a lot of it too. Not anymore! I'm fighting for me now. It's not my fault I feel in love with an addict. It's not wrong I still love him. But I love me more. I tried to change him and I know now that I can't. All of my 'dreams' of us together forever are over. He could never give me what I need and I don't want to be used anymore.
Again...thank you, all of you, for your love and understanding..you made a huge difference in my life and I'm forever grateful 😻💕
Again...thank you, all of you, for your love and understanding..you made a huge difference in my life and I'm forever grateful 😻💕
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