Me moving on…slowly but surely..:)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 168
Me moving on…slowly but surely..:)
After the whole my EXBF left in August with no reason not saying anything to me other than he is not keeping his word on paying his debts, me being pregnant and almost 2 1/2 months no contact he found out I was carry his baby and came back with all these promises and changed attitude. After I miscarried at 4 months he still seems to be giving us a second chance. He even begged me to moved to another state with him saying it had nothing to do with being pregnant he wanted a life with me, he asked me to marry him on several occasions but I never felt he was serious and never accepted. Anyways from the end of October to mid January things seem to being going well he was loving kind treated me with respect and showed me a whole new side of him and I knew he was trying very hard. Mid January he started with the technology thing consuming him again (Face book, his phone and his iPod)
Well come to what I was fearing the most he was indeed replying to Craigslist personal ads from different woman. When I confronted him I got the reaction I was so expected. You are crazy those are not my they are in the trash for a reason, I even spoke to one girl who went on a date with him and made out with him in his work truck and yet he denied everything saying I was crazy. This time I had it to my limits and he realized he was hurting me and we both mutually decided to call it quits. He said its because he does not think he deserves me that I am too good for him and he has low self esteem so in order to make himself feel better he cheats with other woman. BS…
I still miss him but when he comes to my mind or I feel like I miss him I turn my concentration on not the good times we have but the way he hurt me and how sick I know he is. I know its not me, I have been in a healthy relationship for 9 years and I know a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one. He think I don't. he even joke that he will open his own cancelling center for Jay's ex girlfriends cause he claimed all the women he dated in the past including me were all crazy. So I asked him if he thinks 6 women were all crazy or just one person himself…though he is the one telling people he studies Psychology when he didn’t even graduate high school lol……
"I'm no longer willing to lose my self-esteem, self- respect, my children's well being, my job, home, possessions, safety, credit, my sanity or myself to preserve a relationship. I'm learning how to appropriately and with a sense of high self-esteem choose to give. I'm no longer willing to mindlessly lose everything I have for the sake of relationships, appearance, or in the name of love. " Melody Beattle. Beyond Codependency and Getting Better All the Time.
I am turning the page in this chapter of my life and setting healthy boundaries. I am a beautiful, smart, educated, respected, loving, caring 29 year old woman who any man will be lucky to have in his life and by his side and if he can't realized that not only is he stupid and blind but a huge looser for giving up on someone that would have never given up on them.
Well come to what I was fearing the most he was indeed replying to Craigslist personal ads from different woman. When I confronted him I got the reaction I was so expected. You are crazy those are not my they are in the trash for a reason, I even spoke to one girl who went on a date with him and made out with him in his work truck and yet he denied everything saying I was crazy. This time I had it to my limits and he realized he was hurting me and we both mutually decided to call it quits. He said its because he does not think he deserves me that I am too good for him and he has low self esteem so in order to make himself feel better he cheats with other woman. BS…
I still miss him but when he comes to my mind or I feel like I miss him I turn my concentration on not the good times we have but the way he hurt me and how sick I know he is. I know its not me, I have been in a healthy relationship for 9 years and I know a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one. He think I don't. he even joke that he will open his own cancelling center for Jay's ex girlfriends cause he claimed all the women he dated in the past including me were all crazy. So I asked him if he thinks 6 women were all crazy or just one person himself…though he is the one telling people he studies Psychology when he didn’t even graduate high school lol……
"I'm no longer willing to lose my self-esteem, self- respect, my children's well being, my job, home, possessions, safety, credit, my sanity or myself to preserve a relationship. I'm learning how to appropriately and with a sense of high self-esteem choose to give. I'm no longer willing to mindlessly lose everything I have for the sake of relationships, appearance, or in the name of love. " Melody Beattle. Beyond Codependency and Getting Better All the Time.
I am turning the page in this chapter of my life and setting healthy boundaries. I am a beautiful, smart, educated, respected, loving, caring 29 year old woman who any man will be lucky to have in his life and by his side and if he can't realized that not only is he stupid and blind but a huge looser for giving up on someone that would have never given up on them.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
(((((Broken)))))
What a great decision!!! Print out the part I just quoted above and put it on your refrigerator and maybe your bathroom mirror so when you get one of those 'down moments or days' you can reread this passage and 'reinforce' your decision to go down a new path!!!
You also can come here and vent because you know we are always with you in spirit and we do understand the difficulty of this path, but you can do this!!!!
Love and hugs,
I still miss him but when he comes to my mind or I feel like I miss him I turn my concentration on not the good times we have but the way he hurt me and how sick I know he is. I know its not me, I have been in a healthy relationship for 9 years and I know a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one. He think I don't. he even joke that he will open his own cancelling center for Jay's ex girlfriends cause he claimed all the women he dated in the past including me were all crazy. So I asked him if he thinks 6 women were all crazy or just one person himself…though he is the one telling people he studies Psychology when he didn’t even graduate high school lol……
"I'm no longer willing to lose my self-esteem, self- respect, my children's well being, my job, home, possessions, safety, credit, my sanity or myself to preserve a relationship. I'm learning how to appropriately and with a sense of high self-esteem choose to give. I'm no longer willing to mindlessly lose everything I have for the sake of relationships, appearance, or in the name of love. " Melody Beattle. Beyond Codependency and Getting Better All the Time.
I am turning the page in this chapter of my life and setting healthy boundaries. I am a beautiful, smart, educated, respected, loving, caring 29 year old woman who any man will be lucky to have in his life and by his side and if he can't realized that not only is he stupid and blind but a huge looser for giving up on someone that would have never given up on them.
"I'm no longer willing to lose my self-esteem, self- respect, my children's well being, my job, home, possessions, safety, credit, my sanity or myself to preserve a relationship. I'm learning how to appropriately and with a sense of high self-esteem choose to give. I'm no longer willing to mindlessly lose everything I have for the sake of relationships, appearance, or in the name of love. " Melody Beattle. Beyond Codependency and Getting Better All the Time.
I am turning the page in this chapter of my life and setting healthy boundaries. I am a beautiful, smart, educated, respected, loving, caring 29 year old woman who any man will be lucky to have in his life and by his side and if he can't realized that not only is he stupid and blind but a huge looser for giving up on someone that would have never given up on them.
You also can come here and vent because you know we are always with you in spirit and we do understand the difficulty of this path, but you can do this!!!!
Love and hugs,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 168
Originally Posted by sleepyskye 
Thank you for posting this. My situation is very similar to yours, though I have no called it quits with my BF yet. Congratulations, stay strong. You have support 
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
