Lily1918

for the snuggles, sitting in the church pew together, movie nights and popcorn, butterfly kisses and morning devotionals, strong arms that hold me as I fall asleep, pillow talk, and doing the dishes together, late night conversations and watching the sunrise. sorry :,( just had to share....

constantlylearn

Lily,

Hugs to you tonight. I am feeling the loneliness too. It's hard. I was just sitting in the middle of my kitchen trying for 45 minutes to decide what to eat because we used to choose together.

It's hard to love and addict, and NC is even harder...I just found out mine relapsed on a multiple of things and was drunk texting me.

It puts it into perspective for me, but it doesn't feel any better.

Tonight, we have SR and God. Hugs

Lily1918

yes. we have SR and God. this place is comforting because Im not alone in this struggle, and god is good. all the time. thank you for sharing about the relapse. It reminded me to shut up and quit complaining because mine is safe and sober in rehab.

constantlylearn

You have every right to be sad and missing your bf. it's hard! From your posts it looks like he's currently working his recovery! I send prayers to you both, I'd love to see a good thing come out of this for you!

My xabf relapse was due to him refusing to work a program and him skirting through rehab

Truth be told, i miss his voice. Weird. But he soothed me to sleep, it was wonderful.

Lily1918

I can relate. I let mine stay with me for a month even though he was using because I believed that as soon as a bed would open up he would go. thank god he did. I have been where you are. Mine detoxed here and it was soooo hard!!!! but before that I spent many a night crying because he was out using. I NEVER want to see anyone in withdrawl ever again, or be left alone because of drugs. I love history and the Tudors. My boo always said "you are the queen, loyal and faithful and good and mother of the children I love, but heroin is my mistress, you think she has my heart, but its not love with her, its lust. I lust for this mistress the way king Henry VIII did his its out of control and Im a tyrant and dangerous. I pray I don't end up cutting off your head." metaphorically of course. thats one thing he's never done is hit me

constantlylearn

I so love the Tudors Netflix has a fantastic British series about it too! Hopefully you've seen it.

Love the quote, made me smile

Lily1918

love it!!!! Philippa Greggory has a book series about them, written from the women's perspective. Her books are what the movie The Other Boleyn Girl is based off of. The series spans the entire dynasty and are all very good reads for anyone who likes the Tudors

constantlylearn

I just pulled out my tablet. I think it might be time to get "lost" in the past.

They have enough problems to help me forget mine a bit eh?

I'm so thankful for your suggestion I love books!!!

Lily1918

ooh! jealous! I would love to have a tablet. Harry Potter, Hunger Games, The Chronicles of Narnia, and Lord of the rings are old standbys of mine. I think its time for me to read a book too. thanks for the idea! who needs boys when you have books! at least that's what Im gonna keep saying until I believe it. LOL!!!!

constantlylearn

Yes! Books can be bfs for the time being

The tablet was a great investment, I didn't want to at all. But once I did, I was a goner! Now I'm free to read a couple books whenever!!

Lily1918

if I had one I would get a cover that's the book of the neverending story and relish the irony that the book that is in the book the neverending story is magic, and always is a different story for each person who reads it depending on what thier own personal truth is.