VioletSmile

I've been trying to work on learning to put up boundaries. The only one I have at the moment is "I will not allow my husband to live with me if he is drinking/using."

I would like to hear what are some boundaries you have put up for yourself?

Kindeyes

I will not live with anyone in active addiction. This means that if they are in the place where I live and start using again, I have to have the authority to get them to leave or I have to be prepared to leave.

I will not engage with someone who is being disrespectful. I will leave (if I am there in person) or hang up (if on the phone). I will state my position clearly before doing so and then execute without anger (execute my plan...not the person....lol).

Personally, I think the most important thing with any boundary is to state it clearly and then follow through with the plan of action calmly.

Say what you mean (state your boundary clearly)....mean what you say (follow through and do not negotiate) and don't say it mean. That little tidbit helps me to stay focused and also helps me to realize that if I have not stated my boundary (or expectation), I can't expect someone to read my mind.

That's my .02 cents on boundaries.

gentle hugs
ke

jerect

I will not be in a relationship of any kind with anyone in active addiction...

It is ok to say no and not feel guilty about saying no..

I'm not responsible for other people's feelings.. Saying yes when I mean no to preserve someone else's feelings is not serving either party.

My gut is rarely wrong, I will listen to it and allow it to guide me in my decision making...

I will not over share with people that I just met or am forming new friendships with.. Over sharing is violating someone else's boundaries as well as my own...

It's ok if someone doesn't like me or if someone is mad at me.. A long as I'm ok with me and my decisions, other people's opinions do not matter..

When it comes to my well being, my sanity and my happiness, I will always come first.. I can't help others if I can't help myself ...

MsPINKAcres

Boundary number 1 ~ i refuse to talk down or hurtful to MYSELF any longer, no more beating myself up about what I should have, could have or would have done. I'm doing the best that I can today and will continue to grow & try to do better each & every day.

Boundary number 2No one has the right to try to shame me, push me or manipulate me into doing something I don't feel comfortable doing - "NO" is a complete sentence. If they can't respect my "NO" then I need to distance myself from them for a time.

I could go on for quite a while - but those are my main two - which truly deal with respect from myself and from others ~

pink hugs!

SSHope

I will not allow an active addict to have contact with my child (whether they are high at the time or not).

I will not allow an active addict in my home.

cam76

I'm struggling with my boundaries but so far
1. I will not allow my xabf to return home until he admits he has a problem and joins AA (Unfortunately I know he will never do this)
2. I'm on day 5 of no contact and this is my new boundary... I will not contact him

jerect

I really really LOVE your number one.. That's such a powerful boundary