helpme33

I went through the same with my EXAH, and like was posted, he is still alive and still using 25+ years later.

My AS is 34 and lives in another state. I have met the gf 1 time and was not impressed. They fight, he cuts himself, threatens suicide, she calls me, I call the police, they check on him and call me back, he is at a friend's house he says he is NOT suicidal, not homeless.

I told the gf she is not going to call me each time they have a fight, which is often, leave me out of their drama.

About October when he asked me for money again and I refused he played the suicide card. One day he may actually do it, I have accepted that, it's hard but nothing I can do.

I feel like my AS is someone I do not care to be around right now. To punish me he has gone NC, I didn't really hear from him too much before, just for money. Sadly, it has been peaceful since he went NC.
(((huggs, it's time they take responsibility for their choices)))

Lara

I hate to be the 'drama queen' but unfortunately know from personal experience that OFTEN a person who has every intention of committing suicide does send a 'call out' - a 'warning' to others... so often. Almost like the last life line.... so take ANY threat of suicide VERY SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ann

The thing is, Lara, we have no way of knowing whether they are serious or not, we are not that powerful. The best thing to do is call 911 and report it and then leave the rest between God and the addict.

I was held hostage too many times by threatened suicide and by accidental overdoses too, until I accepted that I do not have the power of life and death for anyone.

hugs

outtolunch

A "call out" and an ultimatum, " either you ... or I'll kill myself" are two different things. The intent of the latter is manipulation.

Nonetheless, as you say, it's always best to contact the Police and let the professionals handle it.

outtolunch

Worthy of a repeat. Thank you, Ann.

FlowersJasmine

Chloe, this is trouble, though I think he is just being manipulative try to sit him down next time you come across him and evaluate his thoughts. If you realize that the guy is damn serious find a way of helping him.You can save a life.

vegibean

Chloe, just to share a story with you.

I admitted a client today who said that when he went on his last bender his wife called the cops and had him Baker Acted. He said he was so mad when they came and got him, and today he told me this story saying how grateful he was that his wife did it.

You did the right thing, it's almost too bad the cops didn't catch him, he could have been getting medical attention. I hope he can get himself together.

Good for you for doing the right thing for yourself. Such great support and advise you got here.

friday13

My ex (not an alcoholic) used to say if I left he'd kill himself. No contact was the only viable option to keep me emotionally safe. In the long run I believe it was the best for both of us (I can't be sure how he is but I know he is alive!).