KLM

Hello,

New to the board and have been reading about living with a husband or wife that is an addict. It would seem that every thread I read says RUN RUN.
Are there any cases that it DOES work out? THe addict gets help?
My DH has been clean for 2 years... but tormented obviously. He went out last week for 3 days. I know using is a symptom.
Just looking for any positive stories..... or maybe grasping at straws.

Thanks

BeavsDad

2 years clean is a positive story.
Maybe he'll put together a couple more after his slip.

I believe that when someone's decisions degrade the quality of your life to the point of depression and loss of self esteem/self respect it's time to get out, whether it's temporary or permanent.

Hard to clear your head when you're still in the ring.

No one should tolerate lies, disrespect, or physical/emotional/financial abuse. Ever. Not for the vows. Not for the kids. (as in "stay together for the kids")

tjp613

check out threads by allforcnm and Deuce. They seem to have had a more positive outcome than most and are happy to share their wisdom.

Chloe1981

I'm currently separated from my husband- he just left this past weekend. I don't know what us going to happen!
He has battled his addiction for 5 years . I found out 3 years ago. He was clean for 1.5 years before relapsing last March. It's an uphill battle. I'm learning a lot here so I recommend you read any post you see.
My husband for the first time in his addiction has gone to a meeting very single night since his last relapse, on his own without anyone forcing him. I don't want to get my hopes up. So I'm taking it one day at a time and not allowing myself to look to the future.

Kindeyes

Usually people aren't necessarily saying RUN unless it is a unmarried situation. It's never cut and dry regardless of the marital status. I think the resounding anthem you will hear here is.....take care of yourself. Self care is important to surviving the dysfunction of addiction.

Can it ever work out? Certainly. I have a very dear friend who is married to a recovered addict with 25 years of recovery. I know several recovered addicts who are in happy, healthy relationships. But in all of the cases that I'm personally familiar with, there was a lot of hard work done by both parties.

You and your dear husband will be in my prayers.

gentle hugs
ke