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Kind of Funny if You Want to Laugh

Old 01-12-2013, 01:49 PM
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Kind of Funny if You Want to Laugh

My therapist sort of suggested I try a dating service yesterday to help me see what it is like to sit across from another man that is not my ex. I just started laughing uncontrollably. I think she was just trying to push my buttons to see how I reacted. It worked. I do not judge anyone who uses dating services and am sure people find love or whatever. But wow, really? Oh my god, still laughing. I am not ready to date yet and as a matter of fact, dating sucks. So awkward. I personally would not choose to go online to find someone. Just not the story I want to tell my grandkids. Okay, just a diversion from so much seriousness. Please post other funny things your therapist may have suggested or anything else funny for that matter. I am trying to laugh more. Think we all could use it!
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Old 01-12-2013, 02:38 PM
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I'm glad you are taking your time with all this and feel no need to rush into anything you are not comfortable with.

I never did well with therapists, I think I frustrated them, lol, but it rarely went well at all. The worst therapist ever encouraged me to "talk about it" and when I did she only had two responses..."deal with it"...and..."get over it". Yah, right, who knew it could be that simple, duh!

Having a sense of humour and the ability to laugh at myself, served me well until I could find my balance again with recovery.

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Old 01-12-2013, 02:52 PM
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Ok let's help you continue to laugh......I'm old.....my thought is.....how convenient to be able to join an online dating service and NOT have to go to a bar or something to find a man. Yes.....that's where I went "in the day" to meet people.....to a bar or dance club. How silly is THAT? And I thought I might find a nice, responsible guy because he's......hanging out in a bar? Gosh, how easy it is today to key in your interests, likes/dislikes, priorities, and deal breakers.....And POOF a list of eligible men who share similar thought processes. Sounds like a viable idea to me unless you just aren't ready to date at all.

Well the bar scene wasn't my style so I eventually dated on a "referral basis" only and that's how I met my husband of 28 years. Sometimes our friends (or therapists or computer algorithms perhaps?) have better ideas on who we might be compatible with than we do on our own. lol.

Keep an open mind! You just never know what might come of it! My brother met his wife on eHarmony or Match.com or something like that......and she's wonderful!

Glad to hear that your finding humor......laughter is great therapy! Keep laughing!

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Old 01-12-2013, 03:37 PM
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Dating just sounds funny right now but I do see how a dating service could rule out a lot and prevent a lot of wasted time. I have never heard of anyone meeting the love of their life so thanks for sharing. Bars are not a good option and I feel meetings are even worse. Maybe libraries, grocery stores, or where you might share common interests. I have plenty of friends and feel like I am a romantic when it comes to how I meet someone so I am willing to wait it out until my HP puts that person in front of my face and be willing to accept it. Until then, I am flying solo.
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Old 01-12-2013, 05:11 PM
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Two great friends of mine met their significant others online. bizarre in a sense but it does work sometimes. Just sayin
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Old 01-12-2013, 08:13 PM
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I can't tell you how many marriages my group at work has had due to online dating. I was really shocked to find out how many success stories there were!


Black and Blue - I understand the laughter though.....It has long felt laughable to me too but then over Christmas I thought it might be nice to have a date or two at some point. I don't fish in the pond that I swim in (ie work place), everyone else I know is coupled, no one I know knows any eligible men, and I'm not a bar girl. So where does that leave me? I guess on-line. For the heck of it I put up a profile. I'm not "working it" and have made it clear that I am simply looking for friendships at this stage of the game. I have a breakfast "date" this coming Wednesday. Will have to let you all know how it goes....might be my first and last foray into this realm! It might turn out to be funny so I'll be back!
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Old 01-13-2013, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by blackandblue View Post
Dating just sounds funny right now but I do see how a dating service could rule out a lot and prevent a lot of wasted time. I have never heard of anyone meeting the love of their life so thanks for sharing. Bars are not a good option and I feel meetings are even worse. Maybe libraries, grocery stores, or where you might share common interests. I have plenty of friends and feel like I am a romantic when it comes to how I meet someone so I am willing to wait it out until my HP puts that person in front of my face and be willing to accept it. Until then, I am flying solo.
There's not anything wrong with flying solo! I was definitely in "solo" mode when my husband came into my life. I wasn't looking. And quite honestly, I made it EXTREMELY difficult for him (I moved 3000 miles away after one blind date) but I have to hand it to him, he wasn't going to let geography stop him. I would never suggest anyone do what I did but luckily, my HP was taking care of me.

Enjoy your solitude and the freedom it brings!

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Old 01-13-2013, 09:09 AM
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I don't blame you, take your time, but I have to tell you, I met my recent 2+ year long, now engaged man online. He doesn't drink, drug and never smoked (I'm the addict), but it took me three years before I was ready to try dating after being married to the last jackbag I was married to.

You should have seen his reaction when he learned that I was moving in with my love. He flipped, and he's the one that divorced me, and for those three years he kept saying "we should get back together...", Ewwwwwwww!!!! Being away from him kept me sober.

You'll get there, but I totally get your reaction, anytime my sober gf's told me about their wanting to date, I just cringed, "really?" Ha ha!!
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Old 09-22-2013, 12:48 AM
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Before I met this last one, I was dating online and enjoyed the daylights out of it. Met nice people, and had a good time.

Not a single one of them worked out, but....who cares? It's just a date.

The only thing stopping me now, is explaining my recent history.
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Old 09-22-2013, 07:51 AM
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'RE: online dating. I know two couples who met online and I have to say they are terrific together. It does sound like they all kept open minds though and used it more to expand their"options" for things like theater dates etc. I am not convinced any of the 4 thought they'd find real love. But it makes total sense. You can weed out your "absolute nots" and list all your hobbies and interests. If nothing else you may find a good ski partner or a movie buff. Picturing myself trying to meet someone in a bar these days makes me "white hot"...You know that feeling when someone you love is injured and you know you're gonna pass out? Yeah I do that. Kinda like a fainting goat.

On therapists. I went to one for about a year. Told her I just really needed help with setting boundaries with my son etc. I never felt like I got any solid information from her...but she was super nice and always wanted to talk about my jewelry. (I'm in a couple galleries and she always wanted to touch and ooh and ahhh). She reminded me of a raccoon when they see something shiny. Run away with it, wash it in the river, then stash it somewhere. Anyway...the kicker for me was after a particularly bad week I went for my appointment. As soon as she saw me she said "I'm so glad to see you. I've been wanting to talk to you all week...I've just discovered my son has been smoking pot and I wanted to know your thoughts on it". Yes. Seriously. And I still paid the stinking co-pay! I never returned but do run into her every now and again...She is still lovely...and still wants to talk about the jewelry I'm wearing. Funny. Yes?
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Old 09-22-2013, 10:20 PM
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hmmmmm...

about a year and a half ago I joined two free sites. I sat here one night and thought to myself that I needed to continue to do something...anything...to keep working some sort of process to keep moving away from and trying to get over my ex. Mostly I have just been sitting on the site, hardly active at all myself, except that I do get (like anyone does) plenty of messages and such.

if you want laughs you actually should check it out. pic after pic after pic of men holding a phone up in a bathroom mirror to get a dingy self portrait in an icky bland bathroom...or inevitable they are sitting on their motorcycles. and on "plenty of fish" website they are all holding up big dead fish...I mean wtf?! lol

so...I have actually met out in coffee shops with 3 different guys. one was just dull...one was an absolute work aholic...no joke, really, giant red flags and that was interesting...and #3??? a foot fetishist! I kid you not!!

I tell you this, the truth, for a laugh.

however...I do think that if you were to work it, and I'm not quite ready because I've been too busy and stressed and feeling frumpy...but if you do work it I think it works!

remember that I marry people as part of my work? well I have married a lot of people who met online!! as we get a little older (i am five oh now!!) it can actually be a sane way to go.

I look at it this way...I walk into a coffee shop, I notice an attractive guy who looks interesting, instead of trying to make eye contact, or wonder if he's single...or if he might want to talk, or wonder if he might be interested in me...well...you already know the answers to this when you've arranged to meet!!

lately...just in the last two weeks, I've been checking back into it a little more
in fact last night I was emailing back and forth with a guy about maybe having a coffee date...

we'll see!

check it out!
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Old 09-22-2013, 11:07 PM
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Originally Posted by lizwig View Post
On therapists. I went to one for about a year. Told her I just really needed help with setting boundaries with my son etc. I never felt like I got any solid information from her...but she was super nice and always wanted to talk about my jewelry. (I'm in a couple galleries and she always wanted to touch and ooh and ahhh). She reminded me of a raccoon when they see something shiny. Run away with it, wash it in the river, then stash it somewhere. Anyway...the kicker for me was after a particularly bad week I went for my appointment. As soon as she saw me she said "I'm so glad to see you. I've been wanting to talk to you all week...I've just discovered my son has been smoking pot and I wanted to know your thoughts on it". Yes. Seriously. And I still paid the stinking co-pay! I never returned but do run into her every now and again...She is still lovely...and still wants to talk about the jewelry I'm wearing. Funny. Yes?
That is funny Lizwig, but doesn't sound at all right for a professional to behave. The therapist I worked with at my husbands rehab, she was like my angel. She helped me so much. We seemed to form a sort of friendship, and we would chat when I went to visit, but it was not a therapy appointment. I love the raccoon analogy, and hmmm... I didn't know you were into gallery jewelry.... I say as I envision shiny things. LOL
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Old 09-23-2013, 10:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
Ok let's help you continue to laugh......I'm old.....my thought is.....how convenient to be able to join an online dating service and NOT have to go to a bar or something to find a man. Yes.....that's where I went "in the day" to meet people.....to a bar or dance club. How silly is THAT? And I thought I might find a nice, responsible guy because he's......hanging out in a bar? Gosh, how easy it is today to key in your interests, likes/dislikes, priorities, and deal breakers.....And POOF a list of eligible men who share similar thought processes. Sounds like a viable idea to me unless you just aren't ready to date at all.
This is so funny, I did the same thing! And every boyfriend I've ever had that I met in a bar turned out to be... an alcoholic. I have no idea why this surprised me.

I met my current fiance at a monthly industry social meetup, we both work in technology. Six years in and going strong - much better success than the barflies, go figure.
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