where i'm at...or not...
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
You get to make the decisions for your life. To me there is nothing wrong with having compassion for another, nothing wrong with letting him come to stay with you as long as he follows your rules, respects you, and it really all part of an attempt to seek treatment; I say that because he has been telling you this, and if its not his intent then it could be considered misleading you and that would not be right.
The people that put him out, whatever the reason was it shouldn’t matter to you really; the situation was no longer healthy for them based on their boundaries, end of story. If it gets to a point where you feel its unhealthy for you, then you can put an end to it. No one can predict what an addicts “bottom” will be. My husband found his “bottom” because he got tired of living the way he was; he had no down on his knees, begging for his life moment, no police chasing him. He had a good job, a nice place to live, although we were seperated at the time. If we try to direct our actions to make them find their bottom, to me that still makes us trying to control. We just have to do what is best for us and let the chips fall where they may.
This is O.T. a bit, but I also get really confused about the concept of its ok for addicts to go to shelters, churches, food lines for help if family puts them out. Isnt that still enabling? Except now the burden of care is just transferred to others, who are not perhaps as emotionally involved ? And as a society we generally believe its good to help others in need; and addicts are not turned away from these places with the theory of its best not to enable. All they have to do is ask, and they receive. Just something I think about sometimes……
The people that put him out, whatever the reason was it shouldn’t matter to you really; the situation was no longer healthy for them based on their boundaries, end of story. If it gets to a point where you feel its unhealthy for you, then you can put an end to it. No one can predict what an addicts “bottom” will be. My husband found his “bottom” because he got tired of living the way he was; he had no down on his knees, begging for his life moment, no police chasing him. He had a good job, a nice place to live, although we were seperated at the time. If we try to direct our actions to make them find their bottom, to me that still makes us trying to control. We just have to do what is best for us and let the chips fall where they may.
This is O.T. a bit, but I also get really confused about the concept of its ok for addicts to go to shelters, churches, food lines for help if family puts them out. Isnt that still enabling? Except now the burden of care is just transferred to others, who are not perhaps as emotionally involved ? And as a society we generally believe its good to help others in need; and addicts are not turned away from these places with the theory of its best not to enable. All they have to do is ask, and they receive. Just something I think about sometimes……
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Over here.
Posts: 369
thanks again, guys...sorry i am just all over the place. he is calling daily right now to get into a treatment program and i am just waiting on him leaving. he is doing the, "i love you, i always have, that was always true, i can't believe i ruined everything..." thing with me regularly and i'm just trying to keep the focus on him getting help. i feel shut down emotionally.
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