Bitter Sweet
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 120
Bitter Sweet
I hope everyone has a very merry christmas and a very happy new year!
As I continue on my journey of self discovery and continue to learn how to take care of myself, I find that going no contact is what is needed at this point. For 20 years I have always been just a phone call away or a knock at the door. I have always answered or called back. But for the past 3 weeks I have not. My ex is the father of my kids and I love him deeply. He is in active addiction and having anything to do with him while he is using is chaos, manipulation etc.... this no contact has been so hard. I did not tell him what I was doing I just did it. He is soooo angry and pissed, confused.
As it has been hard to not talk to him I just don't know what to say. He has some of my stuff and for 3 months I have tried to get it. I finally gave up and went no contact. He does not leave a message when he calls and his texts are odd.... example; your a bitch, some kind of a friend you are, is this some kind of grown up game, are you home and this last one was ... maybe one day you will see yourself... wtf really
So im doing good taking care of me and not engaging in a conversation with someone that does not talk to me with respect. Or respect my wishes. Should I explain why I wont talk to him? Its so hard to not respond... but what's their to say? Do u have my stuff and when can I get it? Our sons are good? Your in rehab? That's just about all I could talk to him about at this point.
I love him but know until he gets coean and sober we can never be together.. is sweet I can accept this and be okay with it. Bitter that he still chooses drugs and that lifestyle over his kids and family.
As I continue on my journey of self discovery and continue to learn how to take care of myself, I find that going no contact is what is needed at this point. For 20 years I have always been just a phone call away or a knock at the door. I have always answered or called back. But for the past 3 weeks I have not. My ex is the father of my kids and I love him deeply. He is in active addiction and having anything to do with him while he is using is chaos, manipulation etc.... this no contact has been so hard. I did not tell him what I was doing I just did it. He is soooo angry and pissed, confused.
As it has been hard to not talk to him I just don't know what to say. He has some of my stuff and for 3 months I have tried to get it. I finally gave up and went no contact. He does not leave a message when he calls and his texts are odd.... example; your a bitch, some kind of a friend you are, is this some kind of grown up game, are you home and this last one was ... maybe one day you will see yourself... wtf really
So im doing good taking care of me and not engaging in a conversation with someone that does not talk to me with respect. Or respect my wishes. Should I explain why I wont talk to him? Its so hard to not respond... but what's their to say? Do u have my stuff and when can I get it? Our sons are good? Your in rehab? That's just about all I could talk to him about at this point.
I love him but know until he gets coean and sober we can never be together.. is sweet I can accept this and be okay with it. Bitter that he still chooses drugs and that lifestyle over his kids and family.
Guest
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 2,968
Bunkie...you are doing the absolutely right and best action for yourself and your
children by going no contact..it hurts yes..it doesn't feel like the right
thing to do..again yes..just know that you are sending a powerful message
and that you are needed where you are appreciated and respected at home
doing what a parent should be doing.
My best .. you are special..your children are special and now you need this
time out to see it as it is..
lauren
children by going no contact..it hurts yes..it doesn't feel like the right
thing to do..again yes..just know that you are sending a powerful message
and that you are needed where you are appreciated and respected at home
doing what a parent should be doing.
My best .. you are special..your children are special and now you need this
time out to see it as it is..
lauren
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
"Should I explain why I wont talk to him?"
He knows why...although, addicts live in a world of denial, truth/ honesty are not their friends, so they deflect and attack. Sometimes, it is best to say nothing, it only makes things worse...for you.
Keep moving forward, IMO you are doing the right thing.
He knows why...although, addicts live in a world of denial, truth/ honesty are not their friends, so they deflect and attack. Sometimes, it is best to say nothing, it only makes things worse...for you.
Keep moving forward, IMO you are doing the right thing.
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