See the good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
See the good.
Havent posted in a while. I have actual not been checking on this site as much as I had use to you. I feel that is a step in a great direction. Not that this site isn't amazing, but not needing as much in my life shows growth.
My x disappeared for 2.5 months this summer. Came back in August unapologetic and entitled and created nothing but drama. This was a learning experience for me. I was depressed all summer because I missed him and couldn't beleive he was doing this to our son. I wasn't sure if he should be in our sons life...but his actions lead me to understanding. I am not sure I can verbalize it, but I feel at peace now.
I haven't heard from him this time since Nov. 5. I feel a sense of this is it. He is gone. I can't beleive it, but am happy. This really is for the best. I fear the next phone call will be that he is dead or in jail. He feels so far gone from me. I can't even remember the good. Because I am so hurt that I have totally forgot is whole being.
I loved him,. I miss him. I think about him everyday. But not in a sad pathetic way. I have found happiness. I am so content. I have learned so much. I thiink when I am ready I have to focus on the good. I have to remember who he use to be. I need to take those memories and give them to my son , so he knows he came from good. That his father was good. And, he was.
It is like a death.
Addiction is evil. And when I see and hear them celebrating the legalization of weed in certain states...it just disgusts me.
I hope that everyone has a fantastic holiday, and in some way can start seeing the good.
My x disappeared for 2.5 months this summer. Came back in August unapologetic and entitled and created nothing but drama. This was a learning experience for me. I was depressed all summer because I missed him and couldn't beleive he was doing this to our son. I wasn't sure if he should be in our sons life...but his actions lead me to understanding. I am not sure I can verbalize it, but I feel at peace now.
I haven't heard from him this time since Nov. 5. I feel a sense of this is it. He is gone. I can't beleive it, but am happy. This really is for the best. I fear the next phone call will be that he is dead or in jail. He feels so far gone from me. I can't even remember the good. Because I am so hurt that I have totally forgot is whole being.
I loved him,. I miss him. I think about him everyday. But not in a sad pathetic way. I have found happiness. I am so content. I have learned so much. I thiink when I am ready I have to focus on the good. I have to remember who he use to be. I need to take those memories and give them to my son , so he knows he came from good. That his father was good. And, he was.
It is like a death.
Addiction is evil. And when I see and hear them celebrating the legalization of weed in certain states...it just disgusts me.
I hope that everyone has a fantastic holiday, and in some way can start seeing the good.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Great Post Story. You have come a long way and it shows. You toughed out the pain, the loss, the anger and the sadness....for the good. The good is on it's way and you and your son deserve it. God bless!!
I hope you stick around to share your ESH. You are inspiring!!
:ghug3
I hope you stick around to share your ESH. You are inspiring!!
:ghug3
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Story, there are no mistakes when valuable lessons are attained. You tried, you had already some recovery under your belt from last time he disappeared, and you have learned so much since then.
Sadly, most times when a relationship ends it's like closing the door on an empty room. But once that is done, the healing begins.
In time you will have new beginnings, as will your son. He can remember his dad fondly without living with addiction.
My heart goes out to you, and my prayers, that you and your son will find peace and love and hope for better tomorrows.
Hugs
Sadly, most times when a relationship ends it's like closing the door on an empty room. But once that is done, the healing begins.
In time you will have new beginnings, as will your son. He can remember his dad fondly without living with addiction.
My heart goes out to you, and my prayers, that you and your son will find peace and love and hope for better tomorrows.
Hugs
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