zoso77

...or...maybe well on my way.

My semester ended Tuesday night with a final exam from hell (electrical engineering exams are nothing but that -- hell), but I somehow got through it. It wasn't my best performance, but when I got home Tuesday night and went to bed, I started doing my "end of year" inventory.

Exactly 11 months to the day earlier, my AXGF pulled what is documented in the sticky note "ZoSo's Laws for Surviving a Breakup with an Addict". That day was spent in shock, but there was also a certain finality about that day that was oddly comforting. After enduring all the drama that inevitably accompanies an addict, this was one episode that there was no going back from. The level of sadism and cruelty she displayed that day was something that can be called, without exaggeration, off the charts. And I was done. Pictures were deleted off my iPhone, her contact information was deleted, I blocked her number, and all her texts and emails were deleted.

And then, it was just a matter or riding out the ensuing storm. I found this site, posted a bit, PM'ed with people that were familiar with both addiction and Borderline Personality Disorder, and slowly started to heal and enjoy my life again.

So as I was lying in bed the other night after my final, I thought of my AXGF and the guy she left me for...and starting laughing. He's an addict, too, and I'm pretty sure that he's not capable of dealing with a Borderline Personality. Frankly, who is capable of dealing with an addict and a Borderline?

I've said this before, but it's worth repeating. She gave me a gift, and a gift that keeps on giving. She removed myself from my life, thinking that she could destroy me. And she was wrong, because 11 months to the day later, I was laughing about it.

There are just some situations I will not tolerate anymore, either in my personal life or my professional life. The experience with my AXGF taught me my boundaries had to be a lot firmer than they were if I was to do well in this world. As of this past Tuesday, I am one semester shy of my Masters of Science, Electrical and Computer Engineering. And nothing is going to stop me from getting it. Nothing.

So, there's a ways to go, yes. But life's pretty good. It's actually really good.

God Bless You All.

ZoSo

Vale

Good for you Zoso!
Today is MY 1 year N/C.
Your insightful posts & PMs helped me alot,
thank you.
I think we both outwitted that damned cat!
Now back to a well lived life for both of us.

Best Wishes,my friend!

zoso77

Vale, thank you, and good luck to you.

Best,
ZoSo

mrsbrownie

im with you Zoso, i feel exactly the same way...my xabf and the girl he is with now...its been 9 months for me...in those 9 months i have been certified as a nurse assistant...worked at a new job, met lots of wonderful, interesting, fun-loving, non drama people and good things just keep happening and things are getting better. its true when they say time heal all wounds...it maybe slow but i know in my heart that i am getting there and sooner than i expected. in my heart of hearts, i have let go and let God and i sincerely wish that my xabf find the happiness and peace that he truly deserves.

thank you for your sharing your wisdom and i thank everyone in this community for helping me go through my pain as well.

peace and love to everyone and of course to you to zoso

LoveMeNow

Great job Zoso!!

Vale

same to you,buddy.Merry Christmas!

MLH2282

CONGRATULATIONS on making the best out of a bad situation. Your posts are so insightful, helpful and encouraging. I hope that you continue to contribute to this forum!

~MLH

Katiekate

So nice to hear and congrats.

Your posts have been so important in my own recovery.

Thanks so much. Katie xo

Anaya

I think your posts have been insightful and helpful! Good for you, and congrats on your success.

It's a pleasure to experience the fruits of our labor, once we choose to work towards recovery.

I actually feel normal again, enjoy life, smile more, and have learned as well (in my old age, lol); at one time, I felt I was stuck and couldn't move out of the drama and negativity.

Thanks for sharing!

Kindeyes

Zoso
Serenity feels good. Thanks for continuing to work Step 12. You have a wonderful perspective and sharing your recovery lights the way for others. Thank you!
gentle hugs
ke

crazybabie

Great job, I always look for your post because they have always helped me in some way.