kthopkt

This is my confession: I am an alcoholic but have been sober for 1 year until tonight. I have been posting on here for awhile about my brother & his substance abuse problems but the truth is I am no different than my brother. The only difference between him & I is that I was never willing to try crystal meth or heroin. Had I done so, I believe would be in the same predicament. I only had a glass of wine tonight and I know I will feel guilty in the morning but at least now I am well aware of how weak I am when my husband is gone.

Truth is, I feel bad for judging my brother because in reality I am just like him. If it wasn't for my husband, I could be in the same place as my brother.

Anyone else feel the same way bat times?

ISOHumility

Sounds to me like you have a firm grasp on, "there but for the grace of God..."

I'm an alcoholic too--sober 19 years, then relapsed. Who here would judge you? Not me.

mstrust

i felt the same way. i was a 24/7 pothead and fighting constantly with my boyfriend about his opiate addiction (still am). can't tell you how many times i've thanked my lucky stars i never tried any harder drugs. pot was hard enough to quit. i just made three months. and i still feel like a hypocrite.

tjp613

Gawd yes. My son is a heroin addict. My addiction is cigarettes, chocolate, cheese and carbs....oh, and I can't seem to give up my 4-5 glasses of wine per week. I don't judge him for his addiction, but i sure worry about how heroin makes his life so difficult (or short)....Just as I'm sure he worries about my smoking and these 30 extra pounds I carry. None of us are perfect and it's damn hard to stay sober....whether it's heroin or chocolate or wine. I totally get that. I admire greatly anyone who can do it for any decent stretch of time.

zoso77

The good news is you had a year under your belt. And now you have to start the process all over again. Worry about you and please get the help that you need.

Best,
ZoSo

crazybabie

I have the same addictions as tjp, I am working on that .... keep working on you, don't be too hard on yourself.

sojourner

I repeat Zoso77's concern: Red flags on that glass of wine - our brains justify and justify and justify.... Please get to your meetings!!!

Kindeyes

I believe that my behaviors during the height of my codependence were as sick and off base as my addicted son's were. I see myself no differently from him. I am an addict of a different color. I am a codependent. And I'm ok with that.....I'm very comfortable stating it and accepting that about myself.

Alcoholism and addiction.....stopping the use of the substance is the smallest part of recovery IMHO. It's changing the behaviors and thought processes that lead to addiction in the first place and that undermine our very existence that are the real crux of recovery. And it's hard. Really hard.

Take care of you. One glass of wine didn't negate your year of abstinence. Forgive yourself and move on. Today is a new day.

gentle hugs
ke