kmangel

Ever since our son went through rehab and is now living in the next town over from us (1 1/2 years ago) we are getting annoying calls from people trying to locate him--debt collectors no doubt. I hate the calls. It dredges up anxious feelings in me. Not that I do anything with the calls. Yesterday the caller wanted to give me information to pass along to our son. I told her no, to call him, not me. His phone number had changed so I passed along his new number. He's not returning any such calls though. The lady called today and left a message again that he is "in danger of missing a court appearance". Yeah, right.

It is time he faced his debts--but that is for him to worry about not me!

Anyone else plagued with such calls?

mstrust

my parents get them constantly because of my younger brother. they either let it ring out or hang right up as soon as they figure out what kind of call it is. they have also dealt with people showing up at their door because of money he owes... what a mess. sorry you are being annoyed by it all too.

Ilovemysonjj

No calls because we finally disconnected our home phone last year, but tons of mail, he has a LOT of debt to worry about when he gets out. One thing that I found very helpful is going on our Superior court website, it shows me if there are any pending charges that are filed both criminal and civil. Also, if there was to be a court date, I would assume you would have gotten mail for that.
Hang in there!
TT

kmangel

No, no mail.

Ilovemysonjj

KM, I think you can also send a notification to the debtor in writing DO NOT CONTACT you at that phone number and if they go against that wish, you can file a complaint with the fair debt collection act. You might try googling that and then when they call, quote them directly that statement about harassment.

Sunshine2

Yes, I got phone calls for my son but mostly for his XGF. He manipulated her into paying for a lot of stuff as he never had money. It used to make me anxious too. Thankfully, after about 3 years it stopped. I started telling the callers that my son had drug problems and that I doubt they would get any money from him.

Kindeyes

Yeah. We get the calls for our son but I just tell them he can't be reached at this number and to please stop calling here. They've been reasonably cooperative about it. It bothers me mostly because the financial hole is very deep due to the hospitalization after he was pistol whipped and beaten a bit over a year ago. But it's out of my control so I can't let it bother me.

gentle hugs
ke

crazybabie

I did as cynical said but also sent a certified letter to the company asking them to stop calling suddenly all was quite.

sojourner

Yes, I get phone calls and mail looking for my son - even after I have moved.

I found it takes a lot of effort to get them to stop calling - they call from all kinds of caller IDs so I do not know if they are honoring my request anyway. Then when I found out that a debt collection company sells these things off to another debt collection company and that the new company does not have to honor any requests I might have made and so the calls start all over again, I just gave up. I do not answer the phone if I think it is a debt collector (or a salesperson wanting to talk to me for that matter). The mail I just stack up in a place in the closet and periodically throw out the older ones. I figure he is going to need those letters some day when he wants to tackle his debt, and this address is the only address getting this info as he moves around so much from couch to basement to couch to basement.

I found when I actually talked to these people that they were rude, and it was stressful for me to have to go through that.

That is my experience with the topic. Hope that helps.

Seren

Calls, mail, subpoenas, you name it.....my husband received it. You see, my stepson is a "Jr." which made it even more frustrating.

Persistence was key for us. "He does not live here. No, we don't know where he is. No, we will not forward any information."

Ilovemysonjj

I decided to throw the mail away because if/when my son wants to face his debt, he can go to a credit counselor who can pull his credit and work with him to repay.

Justfor1

Many times addicts are in such debt due to hospital trip that the only solution is bankruptcy. An overdose & a ICU stay can leave a very large bill.

Maylie

I used to get calls like those, and they would call like 10 times a day, I finally picked up and told them that he does not live here, this is not his phone number, and that they were harassing me.

It seemed like the woman on the phone was shocked when I used the word harassing. I then told them that if they did not stop calling me now that they have been notified it is the wrong number that I would take legal action. (It was an empty threat on my part but it seemed to work since I have not gotten any calls since).

My plan B would have been looking up a way to end the calls and take that action such as what cynical said and my plan C would just be to change my number since it is a cell phone and easily changed.

PhilsFan33

My addiction led me down a path of debt and collections were calling my parents house non stop. It is illegal for them to call your home more then once a day. Keep that in mind!

Luckily I paid off my debts and no longer receive calls. I wish your son the best of luck. At times debt can be extremely overwhelming but most companies will work out payment plans or such, this could help him and if anything will keep his credit from being destroyed.

Bottom line have your son call these companies back and own up to his problems.

My thoughts are with you!

kmangel

Dave Ramsey is right here in my town and I'm hoping my son will hook up with one of his counselors when he is ready to face his debts. But like everything else I can only hope. He has to be the one to do it.

kmangel

When I got the most recent call I told my son about it and that it was perhaps the time to start dealing with his debts. Hope he does, but I have done all I'm going to do--suggest and drop it.

PhilsFan33

Yeah good idea. Honestly when my parents kept hounding me about the calls it would be so embarrassing and I would get so upset which would then lead me to use. So good idea laying off and not nagging!

I no us addicts can be a pain but we do appreciate all the bs our parents put up with

KariSue

We changed our phone number. It was pure bliss!

Kari

P.S. Oh and for mail I just write "Refused, return to sender." or "Not at this address. Return to sender."

kmangel

We have a land line and have talked about cancelling it. Time to do so.

So far no one has bothered us on our cell phones.

PhilsFan33

Before you change or cancel your line you should def make sure each company/caller has your sons cell number. This way you at least have handed the responsibility over to your son because at some point he will need to deal with these issues one way or another.

Just my opinion...never the less my thoughts are with you ad your family!