Don't Be Controlled by Love
 

I am reading Melody Beatties book Journey to the Heart I came across this today and wanted to share.

March 22

Using love to control and manipulate is heartbreaking. It can break the heart of the person doing it: it can break the heart of the person it's being done to.

So often, controlling through love is done almost unconsciously.
It's a dance people do out of habit to get their needs met. Their reasons don't matter , although it's easier to have compassion for those who control unknowingly than those who use the power of love maliciously and viciously.

What matters is how you respond if it's being done to you.
What matters is that you don't do it to other people.

Open your heart and see the truth .Set yourself free.If someone is controlling you by using your love for them or your need to be loved, acknowledge it.

If you are doing it to someone else, acknowledge that too. Once you see the truth you can set yourself free.

So much of what we need to do to free our hearts and souls is simply to
acknowledge the truth. The rest will happen naturally.

Love has no price. It's only love if it's free.

Wow..I sooo need to get this book..I have added to my wish list & if I know my Mom..it will be mine..but until then..Thanks for sharing...I feel I have started acknowledging the truth now and I KNOW..that the love I am getting from this site IS FREE.. & more awesome than anything.. :)

I am having a very, very bad today. I am detaching from a substance abuser. And frankly, it´s driving me crazy. I do know that I am textbook codependent and do know what is stated in the OP is true. I can say that and realize it, but right now I am hurting very, very badly. I feel abused, traumatized, victimized and damaged. It pains me to no end. Most of all I can´t understand how and why I let that happen to me. I blame myself for not having walked away earlier. Not seeing the signs. There must be something very wrong with me if I kept coming back for more pain.