Gift giving for the family struggling with addiction
 

This topic came up in another thread, but I thought it might be nice to have a dedicated thread on the subject. I'm struggling through the holiday season, still not sure if I'm travelling back home or not. I'd like to send something to let them know I'm thinking about them, even if (or especially if?) I end up not visiting this year.

In the past I selected very poorly, both for the addicts in my family as well as for their enablers. What ended up happening was that they would (I guess) trade or sell the gifts I gave them, and then steal and sell the gifts I gave my mom and my aunt. My mom has no jewelry left and I foolishly thought that I wanted to treat her to something special. As I type this I really can't even believe how naive I was. Wow. Well, those gifts are long gone. :rolleyes2

This year I think I might try the warm accessories suggestion, maybe matching scarf/hat/gloves. Perhaps some warm slippers for my mom, maybe a matching bathrobe. Not sure, hopefully I can find something that will be nice and make her feel good but not have a lot of monetary "street" value.

I know not everyone has to deal with someone who might steal or sell anything of value, but many of us are facing that situation. How do you plan to handle the gift giving in your family?

Anyone that sold or traded gifts for drugs in the past would be left off my list or would receive a $25 McDonalds or Harkins gift Certificate. Mom would probably get a handmade voucher good for flying her on my dime to visit me sometime during the year.

Cynical One wins daughter of the year. Thread over. That was fast. :lmao

I was thinking "a day of beauty" at a spa for Mom. The gift card can be specific on who uses it and if it is lost or stolen, they still have a record of it.

Oh and for the little thieves....I was thinking "a fruit of the month" club membership. lol

I'm doing food baskets for my family this year. I've picked out some quick and easy recipes that I love. I will give each person copies of the recipes plus the ingredients to make them - some of them pre-measured in nice, reuseable containers (e.g., lentils, wheatberries, spices they may not normally keep, etc). I won't include items that they would normally have on-hand like eggs or onions.

I also like this idea. Maybe make it out of local specialties from my part of the country, stuff they wouldn't necessarily have there.

For the kids, fruit of the month! :rotfxko

Maybe a donation to a charity in the persons name?

Socks?

I have actually done the donation in name gift before for the whole family many years ago. I'm embarrassed to say that a couple of them were openly rude about how I should have just given them the money. I was shocked more at their lack of grace than at their selfishness, I guess. Oh, the holidays! :rolleyes2

On the plus side, I have finally made a decision about traveling back or not: we're staying home and we're going to have a nice dinner with a small personal gift exchange. I'm going to make some holiday sweet treats and maybe roast a small local chicken. I'm excited just thinking about it, and it feels really nice to be looking forward to Christmas again. :)

This is a great thread, Interrupted. I am happy to hear you are staying home and have a cozy plan in place.

I have been puzzling over this myself. I am not as concerned about my RAD selling a gift as I am about what I could possibly get her that has meaning after the year we have been through...I am still unemployed, as is my husband, and we have very little to spend--pretty much nothing. I know she knows this, but I want to do something to acknowledge her sobriety and successful effort to stay clean. I am thinking about a special letter, a little painting I could make, a framed photo....My 15 yo wants to buy her sister a mandolin. I think this is too much and would use up all of her hard-earned but meager savings. I thought maybe I should buy it instead, but oh wait, I have no money! And around and around I go...This is such a hard time of year. It is ironic and kind of sad that Advent, a time of waiting spiritually, has become a time of EXPECTATION about material goods...I guess I am leaning towards the homemade, the sentimental, and the sacred for gifts. It may be all I have to give this year. And hey, I have time!

Thanks for letting me work this little conflict in my head out on SR time. Peace.

When times were lean, I would make up gifts in a jar..such things
as a nice minty hot chocolate mixture..or prepared soups..a cookie
recipe..everything layered in a jar..it looks terrific and is appreciated.
The recipe as well if it needed fresh dairy or other..

A little piece of gingham fabric for the top..a nice homemade tag with
ribbon and everyone seemed delighted to have that special little jar.

I went to the $ store and lined a box or basket with a tea towel and
placed a few items in each and it looked great too..

Thinking of you Garden Mama..times can be tough...

You can Google " gifts of prepared soups in a jar" and all kinds
of ideas come forward.
lauren

I've had a lot of holidays in my lifetime, and the only gift I have saved through them all is a letter that my mom wrote me on Easter one year, I think I must have been about 7. It's just a small note on steno pad paper with a message about how we don't have a lot of material things but we have each other, our friends, and our family, and those are worth more than any Easter basket could ever be. I cried in secret when I got it, because I was 7, and I knew that it was truth but I still wanted an Easter basket. As I got older I still cried when I read it, but by then it was because I treasured it so much. It is my favorite gift I have ever received from my mother.

That was a beautiful memory interruped and to me these are the
gifts of time that last forever..thanks for sharing this. It gives me
a reality of the true meaning of giving..gifts of the heart and words
we can treasure.

Another thought Garden Mama..recipes that your daughter loves in
a homemade bound little booklet . A front cover of a picture of the
two of you .. ribbons in the hole punchs..a letter of love as the end.

lauren