angelbaby925

I haven't been on here or posted in a couple weeks... But everything has been going great... My sons relationship with his dad is going even more great... We are working on becoming better parents, friends, ect. He is working the program, seriously. Going to a lot of meetings, meeting with his sponsor, and going to his outpatient program everyday. He is doing things I've never seen him do... he's actually working hard. And now he is actually HONEST. Last week he found out he has hep c... It was even more of an eye opener for him, it's scary. Especially since he has early signs of cirrhosis (he's 24). He realizes that if he doesn't stop he will die. I see the man I fell in love with, and my worry is almost gone. He finally got his 3 months, and I can see the change in him.

One question though, I don't know if anyone has ever gone through this while someone was recovering... but has anyone's insecurities ever gotten worse once they got sober? Like maybe they won't like you anymore? Weird question.

allforcnm

I can relate to the insecure feeling. With my husband it happened during the first couple months when I really started seeing a change in him. He was becoming who he used to be again, but he had all these new experiences, self exploration, etc. and so I was afraid it would change him and his feelings for me.

But what I realized is that when you are with someone over time they change anyway. We all change in various ways because of our experiences.
So when I thought about it like that then it wasn't so scary anymore. We have both grown and changed and we will continue to do so, but the core of who we both are hasn't changed, what brought us together is still there and still strong. Everything else gets sorted out as we go.

We also have had some awkward moments; but mostly we laughed and talked about it being like when we first met, and everything was new.

My husband has 8 months now, and most of my insecurities are gone. My husband is like yours and he is embracing recovery, family life, our baby who is turning day by day into a little boy. So anytime you feel like chatting, send me a note.

Thanks for your post. I am really happy things are going well for him, and I wish the best for you and your family.

angelbaby925

Thank you! I'd love to chat sometime. It's nice to find someone I can relate to.

Talltrees

I have not been in your exact situation, nor do I have a clear answer for the question you asked, but this is the way I've come to think of it:

When people are in recovery long enough to experience changes like this, it means they are beginning to do all the growing up that they missed out on when they were using. When you're an active addict, maturity comes to a halt instead of progressing the way it's supposed to (through normal life experiences without substances). Substance abuse erases the events that make us grow up; it's as though it never happened, because the active addict is unable to care.

So in other words, I would say he's beginning to become the person he would have become anyway, had he not been using all that time.