Tarot

I am getting so sick of everything he says these days. I can't believe a word of it, especially when he says what he thinks I want to hear. I can't trust a word. His actions simply do not measure up. I have heard so many lies, then he wonders why I don't believe anything he says. One of his favorite sayings is "you don't believe me anyway so what's the point". If I were to believe everything he says then he would be an angel... not an addict! I have heard people on here talk about "quacking". I wondered if you could please give me some idea as to what this means. Many thanks.

jerect

Quacking... anytime an addict in active addiction opens their mouth and starts talking.. lies, excuses, promises,, manipulation etc...

Katiekate

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-quackers.html

laurie6781

Exactly what you just described. When he opens his mouth to say anything picture in your mind the Big White AFLAC duck QUACKING. It will help.

Love and hugs,

DoubleBarrel

When I run into my old drinking buddy, and he tells me how he's really cut down, and hardly ever drinks anymore, or has quit for a while, and I look at his big red shiny bloated face, and think quack quack quack.

Sad but funny.

jerect

My STBXAH's ringtone is a Quacking Duck.. It's a default tone on the iphone.. very fitting

crazybabie

lol I find that fitting and funny thanks for sharing it. I needed a good laugh.

ChangingforGood

Lol, oh my I wish i knew about this a long time ago. May had made dealing with some of my family members a lot easier!

MsPINKAcres

my exah was famous for being passed out in a plate of food, slurred speech, barely could open his eyes and couldn't walk ~ his famous excuse "oh I took A benadryl"

quack quack quack ~

thislonelygirl

haha "you dont believe me anyways so whats the point" - have heard that too . and that is quaking.
Other examples are
"You dont like me, you think im dumb"
"im always the problem, its always me"
"i drank because im off"
"i drank because it was a bad day"
" i drink becasue the day was so good"
"i wouldnt drink so much if you paid more attention to me"
"i didnt miss work because i drank, i missed work because i work so much and was tired"
"the dui i got, that was because the cops are out to get me not because i was drinking"
"even if i stopped drinking, the cops would still arrest me"
"everybody has something that helps them relax, why cant i?"
"nobody understands what ive been through in my life, so i drink"
"its not like my drinking effects you"
"everbody thinks ill drink anyways so why not"
"i really dont drink that much, so and so drink just as much"
"i dont like aa or rehab etc because they are mean and make you sad, thats why i dont do those things"

eveleivibe

I've never heard the saying quacking before, sorry xxx

eveleivibe

That's a new word to me. You learn something everyday xxx

MrsDragon

I had never heard of Quacking before I came to this site. But I did use it the other day because I finally felt I had a situation that was appropriate. One of my sons girlfriends (ex girlfriend now) started quacking away with lies, excuses, finger pointing when she got in trouble with the police. The say anything to try to get yourself out of trouble, and not take responsibility for your actions Quack.

Tarot

Hahaha brilliant. Thanks everybody. I get it now...I will be able to cope a bit better with it all now. Here I was trying to mind read the truth from the lies, it has been exhausting and pointless because none of it added up. Quacking...Awesome! That will make life easier!
I haven't done anything...my pupils are exactly the same size as yours.
That's not cider you can smell....I ate an apple.
I will sort it....I don't need any help.
I'm better than I used to be.
At least I don't hit you or cheat on you.
Even if I get clean you'll leave me anyway so what's the point.
It doesn't matter what I say...you won't believe me anyway.
I couldn't help it they trigger me.
You can do better than me anyway so why don't you.
I can't do it for myself, I don't like myself, I'm doing it for you.
It's like you want me to do it.
....and that's just off the top of my head. I've heard the same old lines over and over...no wonder I felt like I was the insane one!

Tarot

....I've been going Quackers lol.

thislonelygirl

it seems they all say the same things
ah said
atleast i dont hit you or cheat on you too
an
even if i get clean youll just leave me anyways
and
you can do better than me so why dont you


its the addicts way of going in circles to justify the behavior and keep the addiction. as the above says my thought process to those is 1. you stay and validate that they cant be that bad because your with them
and 2. if you leave it validates number #3 above.
see how crazy their quaking is?
in one ear out the other . glad these posts helped you understand that

eveleivibe

You learn something every day here x

Tarot

Thanks ThisLonleyGirl that makes me understand how he is spinning this web around me, no wonder I feel so caught up in his insanity. You're completely right, either way he wins. He's got both those exits covered. If I stay it's like saying he's not that bad and if I go he will say he knew I would so what was the point in trying to sort himself out. Subtle but effective. It's no wonder I feel like I have been trying to reason with a lunatic. Best I don't even try but just imagine that big white quacking duck lol.

I have been trying to explain that I don't want to hear what he has or hasn't been drinking or taking. Trying to explain that i am working on breaking my codependancy and part of that is my obsession with his use. I ask him not to tell me bit he seems hell bent on telling me anyway (even though I can clearly see it's lies) I say what he does is his business but he gets irate at that and accuses me of not caring (not caring to believe his lies...?) I wonder why he is so hell bent on forcing this false information on me....perhaps just baiting me into an argument so that he can go off and get trashed and blame me. Another one of his favorites is...."Yes I had a drink, SO WHAT!!" Some of them quacks really get to me! Man how he loves to cause an argument and try as I do it's hard, when they're trying every trick in the book, not to rise to it. And the moment I do it's ..."F*** this I'm off"....off to have a hit.

Vale

......it's ALSO something aquatic birds do......

thislonelygirl

been there also. they do like to start arguements to justify leaving or drinking too. the best thing you can do for yourself is leave either for the time being or longer but to remove yourself from the situation. also dont try to rationalize with him while hes drinking...hes not there at the moment so it wouldnt matter what you said from his drinking out of hand down to bills that are to be paid. odds are he wont remember the conversation or agreeing to anything or truly mean it anyhow and to let him quack and emotionally as hard as it is ...seperate yourself from his nonsense.