Lily1918

Just feeling crummy here and stuck in those "good memories"

I remember so well. He was just out of rehab, me only just admitting to codependency. the new job new friends sponsors on both sides. this is it! Hooray! I am a princess and I get the fairytale ending! Everything was recovery. meetings and the sober house was amazing and I was so happy and he was doing so well. I could even push my enabling issues aside because there was nothing to enable anymore. Hooray for miracles!

-_- hmmm... Wish I could go back to that cloud. Im telling ya, its all cotton candy and flower gardens compared to this mess Im in now. who said it on the other thread?

"something wicked this way comes..."

maybe I am growing coldhearted. but hmmm....

Jk Rowling said it best, " It does not do to dwell on dreams Harry and forget to live."

hello-kitty

"It does not do to dwell on dreams Harry and forget to live."

Good one. I like:

"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present."

or this version:

“Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have - so spend it wisely”
Kay Lyons

It's about you. All the pink clouds in the world aren't going to change him into the man you want him to be or give YOU the life you want. What little things can you do today to bring you closer to your achieving YOUR dream? (Not your dreams for your boyfriend.)

Lily1918

Hmm I wish I could sleep. Im working graveyard tonight and I just can't slow my mind down.

laurie6781

My AA sponsor's hubby (my 2nd sponsor, lol) was a very blunt man. He would say:

"If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, then you are pizzing on today."

Sure got the point across, rofl and I NEEDED his 'calling a spade a spade' for years!

So, if you must, sit down and make a Pro/Con list of what your life was like while living together.
Pretty soon those 'good cotton candy memories' will be put into a very clear perspective with
the Pro/Con list.

Love and hugs,

hello-kitty

Or make a "grateful" or "thankful" list.

Just list EVERYTHING you have in your life to be thankful about and grateful for. It was a tool I learned in recovery and it works for both addiction AND codependency - it helped me get over pity parties and disappoint. Thankful lists always cheers me up.

And so timely too - considering tomorrow is thanksgiving.

eveleivibe

Hugs lilly. Sorry things are not good for you at mo xxx

eveleivibe

Love this quote!

eveleivibe

Like this - who said this?

Jody675

life is all about choices. everything we do and say we choose. what choices are you making for yourself and your happiness today? live only for today. if you are happy right now with your choices then you will always be happy. because right now is all that matters. if you are not happy, then make different choices. dont dwell on and sulk on what you have no control over. its just pointless. unless you are organising a pity party. the art of letting go and moving forward is not an easy lesson. but one that is invaluable.

Lily1918

Thank you! Well... today I told the ABF off, came here and vented it out, and Idk, something happened. I got in the car and now I am here at KFC with some yummy fried chicken on my own and feeling ok. I did get a little lonely, so here I am on SR. I called an old friend of mine who I have been neglecting lately and after I eat Im gonna go hang out with her! It feels so good. but I haven't let go or gone no contact, but Im definitely feeling better after telling him off. I know they don't really listen, but I did it for me to feel strong and know Im not putty in his arms anymore

Jody675

thats good. not a fan of KFC but do like their chips. telling him off is one thing, keeping your boundaries firm is another. its like a parent who tells their child off for whinging about wanting a cookie, then giving them the cookie anyway. its like pointless. but it is a good start. strong clear boundaries is what will keep you sane. (and maybe ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship that is going to feel like a parent child relationship...kids are selfish, and so are addicts, hence why they both do things that they dont see the consequences that affect others.)

hope you have a lovely time with your gf and not spend the whole time talking about your bf. make that a no go topic maybe.

Lily1918

Agreed.

Vale

who said it on the other thread?

"something wicked this way comes..."

I did......

(I liked the pink cloud,too.She got better---moved out of that
crappy nasty little sh**hole[violent felon's 'pad']---went back to her
home and repaired the ghastly damage she did to her husband,daughter,
and son----and lived happily ever after.)

>>>And my ego got a free ride to hero-ville for 'never giving up on her.<<<

My pink clouds precipitated out into hailstones the size of softballs.Fate collected
these hailstones into a potato sack......then beat me senseless with it!

Now when I see pink clouds.....I go inside!



yeah.....I'm the one on the right..........

Lily1918

Aww vale I should have checked =]