bunkie65

Hi fellow members! I have a question about a phrase a recovering addict said to me! I wonder if anyone has heard this and what their understanding of this statement means?

She said about my ex who called me high; which he never does. That he was showing me his monster! ??? She kind of explained what she ment and her perception of things. She said that I was a link or a connection to sanity and that he was loosing it, because he was now mixing both of his double lifes?!? I think I got that right?! I kind of understand but have never heard this before?!

Anyone have any understanding and able to share I would greatly appreciate it!

Thanks!

Tarot

I don't know for sure but i will take a guess based on what i have been going through myself. I see his addiction as a monster inside him, like a demon monster possessing them. My partner had periods of sobriety while he was with me for weeks at a time sometimes. But only when he was with me. Without me...his anchor to reality...he is possessed by this monster. He comes out when he is using. I call him Mr Hyde because he is so different from the guy i know and love straight and sober. Like the lovely Dr Jeckyll. The trouble is he goes off and changes into this monster Mr Hyde...a totally different person....he's living a double life. I am his only anchor to the lovely Dr Jeckyll and without me he is always Mr Hyde. The trouble is for me that Mr Hyde is coming through more often now and is making me sick too. This monster is contagious if you're not careful. I can't kill that monster, the demon that possesses him i can only stop him affecting me.
Hope this made sense. Hugs

bunkie65

Thanks Tarot, and yes I can understand the whole concept of a different person when he uses. We don't talk much and he is in denial about using, however I know when he is high and is not. I lived with him for several years and when he is high oh crack or coke he is weird. Can't form a complete sentence really. His vocals are almost like they are strained or constricted. He knows I work a 12 step program, he went to rehab for a few days and then na meethings for only a short time then returned to the madness: that's when I left. Anyways, my life is about healing, healthy living, Gods will etc... he knows where I stand and that its not personal its about choices. And what's good for me and our kids. He knows I have detached with love and that im recovering from years of codependency. He knows I care but wont tolerate using in my home, life etc. So for him to call me high is not what he doees. In fact he wont talk to me when he is using. I guess that's what she ment about him showing the monster and that he was loosing it, and a bottom could be near!?

Just found that statement thought provoking when my friend said it. Wondered who if anyone has an understanding of its meaning. Thanks Tarot