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List the Similarities of Codependency & Addiction Similarities of Codependency and Addiction are amazing!! 1. Obsession 2. Selfishness 3. Denial |
I thought codependents put everyone else first? How can that be selfish? |
Originally Posted by eveleivibe
(Post 3663070)
I thought codependents put everyone else first? How can that be selfish? |
Ah I see - thanks xxx |
Originally Posted by eveleivibe
(Post 3663276)
Ah I see - thanks xxx I saw where you posted Melody Beattie's new Codependency book was "aces." Just curious, did you actually read it? How is different then Codependent No More, if you don't mind sharing??? |
In my experience, most alcoholics are also codependent. In my previous relationship we we're both terribly codependent in completely opposite ways. Literally. We both went over a list of codependent traits putting a check mark next to the ones we thought we had. They were exactly opposite. |
Blame. Addicts obviously play the blame game, but I think we also have a tendency to place blame. Specifically, we blame them for all of our suffering when in actuality, after we've learned the truth, we are making a choice to allow this repetitive and predictable outcome. Once we know the truth, we have nobody to blame but ourselves. ETA: Until I came here and started down this path, I blamed my sister for destroying our entire family. Overreact much? It was hard to hear at first, but now it seems so obvious to me. How could I have been so blind to the fact that she didn't destroy my family any more than I caused her addiction? I was giving her a lot of power and pain, neither of which she needs or deserves. |
Obsession, manipulation, pleading, depression, unhealthy living, hopelessness, etc. Yes, many similarities. |
lying!! Codependents lie too....more to themselves!! |
Guilt!! Good ole Guilt!! :) |
The steps for recovery are nearly the same as well: 1. We admit that our lives had become unmanageable - that we were powerless over alcohol/drugs. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs |
No all of it but still have it on my iPad she talks of how she used to be a drug addict n an alcoholic n how her husband was an alcoholic for 7 years n gives tasks n activities. One thing in it she mentioned struck a chord with me that emotions being other emotions like anger really being guilt. That one made sense to me. To be honest i dont know why i downloadedit but i did. Hope that helps xxx |
Oh i havent read codepedency no more. The new codependency is an update |
Originally Posted by eveleivibe
(Post 3663649)
No all of it but still have it on my iPad she talks of how she used to be a drug addict n an alcoholic n how her husband was an alcoholic for 7 years n gives tasks n activities. One thing in it she mentioned struck a chord with me that emotions being other emotions like anger really being guilt. That one made sense to me. To be honest i dont know why i downloadedit but i did. Hope that helps xxx |
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