lonely :(
 

That's the worst part. The meetings, the children... amidst all of it I am alone. My friends are all married to typical spouses who bring home the bacon and merely squabble about who does the dishes. I don't want to go over to thier houses and with them with thier husbands. It makes it hurt more. Even when nothing is wrong.

yeah i know it can be hard lily. i was the first of my friends to have kids, and i lived on the otherside of the country to my family. when my mum died, i had just separated from my husband, and all my friends were busy. was a tough time then too. but you know what? years later, i know, no matter heads my way, i can do it on my own. i can rely on myself. its better when i have someone to share it with but i know i dont need it to get through it. find a new hobby, or read a book. find something that is all about you and what you want to do. mine was my motorbike. i love the speed, the freedom, and met a lot of great people through it. time to think more about how you want your life to be, and how you going to achieve it, and stop just moping about what your friends have. (i bet it isnt as good as you think it is or they are saying!)

You're not alone honey,
we are here.
I'm at home with my kids on my own too.
Big hugs.

Aww you guys :,) thanks. Im a huge bookworm. I get lost in them like Im Matilda or something. I feel like a 5 year old stomping my feet "I don't wanna on my own!!!" I just hate how fairy tales aren't real. I feel like Im Wendy and he's peter pan and I sit and wait at the window to no avail, I want to leave neverland, and even in the midst of recovery his development stalled at that of a young boy because of using. He lives at his parents now, and was at a sober house before, and its just so strange that he has to ask permission for outings, his finances are closely monitored, curfew, overnight visits have to be earned. I know its awesome for him and his development, but sheesh... I believe in the Bible and I understand obey your parents and I know he needs those rules but it still doesn't change the fact that I feel like Im 25 and he's 17 :l sorry for the vent. ugh just frustrated.

lily that whole post was about him him him pretty much with a couple of lines about you. let him have his recovery or addiction, and you just concentrate on yourself. time to let go (this is the first step for you feeling amazing again!) let god look after him now.

Thanks for your honesty. its true. and it feels impossible. I have a long way to go in my recovery feels like I haven't even started yet.

you have made the first step...you are here.

Lilly big hugs - i know how it feels to be lonely hon n when you see friends with partners doing normal things etc. please keep coming here for support n find ways to make new friends.

Maybe you could get some counselling to deal with all that's happened.

Thinking of you n hope things feel better soon.

Hugs.
Evey xxx