LoveMeNow

oops, should have said - NO more joint accounts.

I waited far toooo long to do this!

Justfor1

lovemenot, sadly there are folks in NA/AA who still drink and use while attending meetings. Yes, even picking up chips intoxicated. The thing is that other addicts know when a member is using. It is hard to convince a recovering drug addict that you are clean when you are not. Sometimes the others addicts will call them on there behavior while other times they just let them be. One thing for sure though is that the will not be turned away or asked to stop coming. The nature of addiction defies logic.

chicagowife

I have so much fear, anxiety and sadness right now I just don't know where to begin.

My biggest fear is that I will have to make good on my word and leave him and he will spiral downward.

My biggest anxiety is that I will catch him using again.

My biggest sadness is that I have lost an individual that I loved so much and I don't know if I will ever have him back.

LoveMeNow

We all understand your feelings, we really do!! Loving an active addict is very painful!!

(((hugs)))

jerect

Some of the worst decisions I have made were ones made out of fear..

Today the only decision you need to make is the one to take care of YOU!! The rest will fall into place at the appropriate time :-)

You can't worry about whether he will use again or not, he's an addict and he's gonna do what he's gonna do.. If he's not working a strong program then chances are he's going to use again.. That's the harsh reality of addiction

The only thing you can really control is you and your actions and your reactions...

Hang in there and take things One Day At A Time!!

LoveMeNow

Me too!!

Chicagowife, we have learned that we become in a FOG - Fear, Obligation and Guilt. I added pity on to this. Our heads/minds are so confused, like being in a FOG.

If any of our behaviors are based one these emotions, they are usually not healthy ones to make.

chicagowife

I definitely have the fog!

He went to NA today and just texted me that instead of being home when I get home so we can talk he is going to another meeting. That made me feel a little bit of hope.

I want to send him info about outpatient rehabs, but I will let him choose his own recovery path this time. Trying to let go a little at a time.

chicagowife

Decided to go to a meeting! Very excited about this!

There aren't a lot of nar-anon in the area so I'm going to start with an al-anon tomorrow morning and then thursday will be my nar meetings.

eveleivibe

Awh wish there was something i could say to
Make you feel better. No one knows what the future will bring. He may sort out he may not but only he can decide.
You are doing the right thing in coming here n talking through your feelings.
Maybe time apart may be a good idea but again only you can decide that.
Do you have any friends that you could offload to, go for a coffee or something to take your mind off things???
Remember you matter too n being healthy. If you keep worrying about him like this you are going to be ill.
Take care x

Vale

It is a deadly serious varsity game,it is YOUR LIFE.

We acknowlege your fear,anxiety,and sadness.

There is much to learn on SR.But an equally valuable component
of SR is to know that kindred souls have felt everything you are feeling.
They got through it--- and they feel profoundly honored to be able
to drop chemical glow sticks to illuminate the path out of this
dense and dangerous forest of addiction.

Your feelings are valid,real,and the farthest thing from inauthentic.
Feel them.Honor them.Acknowlege them.Face them.

And when you are ready ( and only when you are ready).......move forward.

knarfia

I'm right there, with you. But it is true that we have to do what we know is right, regardless of our emotions. Best wishes to you.