newbie to this site, vetran with an addict
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 4
newbie to this site, vetran with an addict
Hi peeps,
So here I am. I have been dealing with an addict/
alcoholic husband for OMG...over a decade now. I have walked the fine line between sanity and reality for many years, sometimes one side of that fence more than an other. I have been through the ringer, had it all, lost it all, and am rebuilding again.
I have been through programs for abused women, (this was the uber big step that led me on my personal journey) alanon, have a library of psychology, self-esteem, self-everything (sigh) that would make a psychologist jealous (actually it did make my counselor jealous, she is a great lady). I have packed up my life and moved away, went back to school, dealt with courts, lawyers, children's aid workers and all of the fun things that go along with a violent crack addict in the throes of cocaine psychosis. I have been manipulated, lied to, stolen from, cheated on, isolated, hit, and abused in pretty much all manners excepting sexually (thank what ever powers that be). I have had to quit lucrative employ on several occasions to keep my kids safe, been sh#t scared and cried so many tears it amazes me that I did not wither away from dehydration.
But...know what? I am here, I am strong (most days. i do reserve the right to hide under the covers over-long on occasion) and I am doing what I need to do for me and my kids. I don't put up with nonsense like I once did, I tell it like it is.
I should tell you, I am an introvert. I have had a hard time with alanon, and group settings, so I am not overly fond of those. I am not shy, although many people assume so from my demeanor in real life. Here, in forums, I seem to be at my best, with meeting new people, connecting with their minds. I an horrid at trying to verbalize what comes easily to me here, clicking away as my thoughts flow without interruption. I am looking to meet people, share experiences, and learn from all of you.
I guess that long winded narrative will be my introduction, my handshake, if you will.
So here I am. I have been dealing with an addict/
alcoholic husband for OMG...over a decade now. I have walked the fine line between sanity and reality for many years, sometimes one side of that fence more than an other. I have been through the ringer, had it all, lost it all, and am rebuilding again.
I have been through programs for abused women, (this was the uber big step that led me on my personal journey) alanon, have a library of psychology, self-esteem, self-everything (sigh) that would make a psychologist jealous (actually it did make my counselor jealous, she is a great lady). I have packed up my life and moved away, went back to school, dealt with courts, lawyers, children's aid workers and all of the fun things that go along with a violent crack addict in the throes of cocaine psychosis. I have been manipulated, lied to, stolen from, cheated on, isolated, hit, and abused in pretty much all manners excepting sexually (thank what ever powers that be). I have had to quit lucrative employ on several occasions to keep my kids safe, been sh#t scared and cried so many tears it amazes me that I did not wither away from dehydration.
But...know what? I am here, I am strong (most days. i do reserve the right to hide under the covers over-long on occasion) and I am doing what I need to do for me and my kids. I don't put up with nonsense like I once did, I tell it like it is.
I should tell you, I am an introvert. I have had a hard time with alanon, and group settings, so I am not overly fond of those. I am not shy, although many people assume so from my demeanor in real life. Here, in forums, I seem to be at my best, with meeting new people, connecting with their minds. I an horrid at trying to verbalize what comes easily to me here, clicking away as my thoughts flow without interruption. I am looking to meet people, share experiences, and learn from all of you.
I guess that long winded narrative will be my introduction, my handshake, if you will.
nite, and thank you.
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