Oh brother!!!!!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Oh brother!!!!!
Back when, my husband started taking suboxone but didn't work a recovery program. (I honestly thought suboxone was the answer to all his/our problems, ha) He had ongoing dental issues that could no longer be ignored; needed to have wisdom teeth pulled, a route canal, etc. He had a bad infection and was given antibiotics and pain pills. Needless to say, he went off the rails. After "catching" him in another lie, I made him move out, joined SR, started Alanon, therapy, etc. During this time, he became someone I hardly knew (but eventually seemed to hit his bottom and wanted to work a program). But he had already canceled his dental procedures because he was in the throws of his addiction. I couldn't believe it and was furious. Now was the time, I thought.
Well, as we all know, our teeth problems can not be ignored. The problem resurfaced last week and has continued to get worse. He is seeing a dentist today. He is going to need to address his dental issues.
In the past, I would have become very anxious about this. I can't say I am not anxious at all but very minimally.
He has talked to his sponsor and good friends about it. He was told to give me any and all pain meds and ask me to dispense them, if I was wiling. In some ways, I feel like I am being asked to "control" his drug usage and have mixed feeling about it.
If he has a desire to use pills, he will find a way. I will "help" but I am not going to play the game of addict/codependent.
He says he is scared to take anything but doesn't want to go through it without them.
In many ways, this is how it all started.....will this be how it all ends? No matter what, I will be fine. It is his life, his choices. Yes, I will be effected but I am letting go and giving it to God.
P.S. I wouldn't be surprised if he was already back taking them anyway. He is an addict and has a low thresh hold for pain! I haven't noticed any obvious signs but then again I am not looking for them. As they say - More will be revealed!!
Well, as we all know, our teeth problems can not be ignored. The problem resurfaced last week and has continued to get worse. He is seeing a dentist today. He is going to need to address his dental issues.
In the past, I would have become very anxious about this. I can't say I am not anxious at all but very minimally.
He has talked to his sponsor and good friends about it. He was told to give me any and all pain meds and ask me to dispense them, if I was wiling. In some ways, I feel like I am being asked to "control" his drug usage and have mixed feeling about it.
If he has a desire to use pills, he will find a way. I will "help" but I am not going to play the game of addict/codependent.
He says he is scared to take anything but doesn't want to go through it without them.
In many ways, this is how it all started.....will this be how it all ends? No matter what, I will be fine. It is his life, his choices. Yes, I will be effected but I am letting go and giving it to God.
P.S. I wouldn't be surprised if he was already back taking them anyway. He is an addict and has a low thresh hold for pain! I haven't noticed any obvious signs but then again I am not looking for them. As they say - More will be revealed!!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Actually, now I would be surprised if he was on anything! He just asked me to help remove an eyelash and his pupils were normal size and his behavior seems fine - except that he is in a lot pain with a swollen cheek.
Before that, I had not looked at his pupils at all. I am more concentrated on me and I know God will reveal the truth to me...He always does.
Before that, I had not looked at his pupils at all. I am more concentrated on me and I know God will reveal the truth to me...He always does.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by cynical one 
Hands off the meds mommy!
I am not disputing your post but I know other who have done the same thing...including my Godchild (a recovery addict) - who gave them to her boyfriend. She took a few as needed, then she flushed the rest.
I was told because he is in early recovery, doesn't trust himself, should not be trusted....that helping in this situation was not enabling or trying to control....since he asked.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
When I was around 60 days clean/sober, I had to have an impacted wisdom tooth chiseled out.
I was terrified to take any kind of pain reliever. My dentist said with that kind of oral surgery there was no way I could do without.
I asked, and my sponsor agreed, to dole them out to me. I am grateful for that.
Now with years of recovery under my belt, and several major surgeries, plus acute pain issues, I am responsible for managing my own medications.
I make sure I have program people I have informed of the situation and am accountable to.
I was terrified to take any kind of pain reliever. My dentist said with that kind of oral surgery there was no way I could do without.
I asked, and my sponsor agreed, to dole them out to me. I am grateful for that.
Now with years of recovery under my belt, and several major surgeries, plus acute pain issues, I am responsible for managing my own medications.
I make sure I have program people I have informed of the situation and am accountable to.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Just from my experience with this - a family member is too close to be the distributor of pain meds to a recovering addict ~
It is too easy for the addict to use the sympathy and care that we have for them to get what they need - we are TOO easily swayed to give in ~
A sponsor or trusted recovery friend can be stronger in this field that we can ~
PLUS this keeps the meds out of the home where the addict is not tempted to steal them from the cabinet, purse, vehicle. . .
It keeps the stress of the person responsible for the meds from having to constantly worry & watch over the meds & the addict.
In the part of the recovery of the relationship - this type of action will take months of recovery away from the process - it returns the recovering addict & recovering al-anon back to the child/mother relationship.
Not an expert on this but I do have quite a few years of experience on this and have seen it happen over & over again - I have seen many couples that used a sponsor or trusted recovery friend step in to do this and it worked MUCH better.
just my e, s, & h
praying the best for all
pink hugs,
It is too easy for the addict to use the sympathy and care that we have for them to get what they need - we are TOO easily swayed to give in ~
A sponsor or trusted recovery friend can be stronger in this field that we can ~
PLUS this keeps the meds out of the home where the addict is not tempted to steal them from the cabinet, purse, vehicle. . .
It keeps the stress of the person responsible for the meds from having to constantly worry & watch over the meds & the addict.
In the part of the recovery of the relationship - this type of action will take months of recovery away from the process - it returns the recovering addict & recovering al-anon back to the child/mother relationship.
Not an expert on this but I do have quite a few years of experience on this and have seen it happen over & over again - I have seen many couples that used a sponsor or trusted recovery friend step in to do this and it worked MUCH better.
just my e, s, & h
praying the best for all
pink hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: northeast
Posts: 468
I've had a lot of dental stuff the past year (root canal and three wisdom teeth pulled and an abscess). It hurts but honestly what helped the most was advil. I think it is possible to do stuff without prescription pain medication.
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
So....he went to the dentist and got Augmentin (?) for the infection and is using Advil. He refused any kind of pain meds.
They can not do anything until the infection is gone...so he has to wait! His friend from NA (clean 20 yrs) is still working out of my husband's office and he said he would handle any or all meds when the time comes. So I am relieved about that! Although, my husband is saying he wants to try without any!!
They can not do anything until the infection is gone...so he has to wait! His friend from NA (clean 20 yrs) is still working out of my husband's office and he said he would handle any or all meds when the time comes. So I am relieved about that! Although, my husband is saying he wants to try without any!!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by cynical one
Do you see where your emotions are still tied to his using or not using instead of just sitting with what it is is? ! !!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Originally Posted by crazybabie
I wasn't expecting that but am glad he wants to try and do it without pain meds.
He is still in a lot of pain, with lots of swelling. I am definitely convinced that it would be a bad idea for me to be involved in dispensing any needed pain meds. Although, I think I could make a good nurse Ratched
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Well, he was up all night with his the pain and finally called the dentist this afternoon for pain killers.
His friend has them and I am not getting involved. At first, I was annoyed by it then I stepped back and said....it's not MY business. It's his recovery, I have my own to work.
I am not going to get emotionally enmeshed in his problems.
His friend has them and I am not getting involved. At first, I was annoyed by it then I stepped back and said....it's not MY business. It's his recovery, I have my own to work.
I am not going to get emotionally enmeshed in his problems.
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