My son has had several girls names tattooed on him and has covered each one up smh

You are not alone! I am going through something almost identical. I was in a relationship with a ABF for 2 1/2 years. We also dated 10 years ago. He loved me from then until now, but his addiction took its tole on me. He ended up meeting some girl. She was "fun", and new, and within a couple weeks she was madly in love with her.

In an instant, everything changed. I never knew he could be so cruel, and heartless. His actions made me doubt everything I thought I knew. To make matters worse, this girl was the EXACT OPPOSITE of me. I just graduated law school, have my own townhome, no children, am kind, caring, and even after everything want him to be happy. On the other hand, I don't even know if she graduated high school, she can barely support herself and her 11 year old child, and she will do ANYTHING to keep him from leaving her, including seeing him unhappy. It doesn't make sense, and it never will. But you were not the problem.

People come and go in our lives, but don't let his behavior now negate what you felt. Honestly, your relationship wasn't a lie, and I think deep down, you know it was real. I realized that there were certain things that were never going to make sense, and honestly, I couldn't have seen this coming. Don't let this change who you are at your core. Forgive him for the betrayal and the pain, and forgive yourself. You are not a fool, and it may not feel like it right now, but eventually, he will feel the pain of losing you from his life. My EXABF actually started texting me 2 weeks after he left. He started to see what a mistake he made, but it was too late. Ironically, while he was texting me all these things, telling me how he realized I was his soulmate, his new GF was posting all this stuff on his FB saying that they have never been happier! That just goes to show you, don't always trust the image people portray to the world, because it isn't always a true indicator of what's going on inside.

I know these words are only momentarily comforting. The pain creeps back in, and your soul ends up aching, but I can tell you from experience, it will hurt less every day! It may sound ridiculous, but I recently realized that I was smiling and laughing again. Grieving is a slow process, but it's better to get it out of the way now, then have it sneak up on you in the future. Your EXBF seems to be stuck in the DENIAL phase.

I know it is hard, but focus on yourself! I started working out again. It's amazing how much better I feel, and the extra endorphins haven't hurt either. Keep your head up! You are not alone in what you are going through!