I am losing it!!
Getting there!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Thank you all for your replies. I just feel like I had a major breakdown this week. And I can't even figure out why.
I really don't even think it has all to do with him. I spoke to my father's wife (we do not all her our step mother - which I think says enough) and I know that bothered me. My dad is very sick and didn't get on the phone which was fine because I know I have so much unresolved resentment towards him. And all the destruction from Sandy bothered me too, that I had to stop watching the news. Then of course I felt selfish and uncaring because I couldn't hear about it anymore yet they are the ones living it.
I am here alone and feeling so defeated and so depressed. I thought I was getting so much healthier, only to find out I am so more screwed up then I ever imagined.
In my fantasy thinking, I wish I could go to a cushy, "emotional" rehab for 90 days, see a few therapists, do some yoga, get daily massages and work on me. I guess thats just for addicts though.
I really don't even think it has all to do with him. I spoke to my father's wife (we do not all her our step mother - which I think says enough) and I know that bothered me. My dad is very sick and didn't get on the phone which was fine because I know I have so much unresolved resentment towards him. And all the destruction from Sandy bothered me too, that I had to stop watching the news. Then of course I felt selfish and uncaring because I couldn't hear about it anymore yet they are the ones living it.
I am here alone and feeling so defeated and so depressed. I thought I was getting so much healthier, only to find out I am so more screwed up then I ever imagined.
In my fantasy thinking, I wish I could go to a cushy, "emotional" rehab for 90 days, see a few therapists, do some yoga, get daily massages and work on me. I guess thats just for addicts though.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 2,684
LMN: I think story74 makes a good point - that is, it seems you're trying hard to be perfect, diplomatic, etc.
It's ok to be angry. This will pass and you'll move on. Maybe some of your burden might be lifted, too. Hang in there, friend.
It's ok to be angry. This will pass and you'll move on. Maybe some of your burden might be lifted, too. Hang in there, friend.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 22
LoveMeNot.. I understand where you're coming from! After so much pain and anger sometimes you just can't keep it inside. Its like shaking up a pop can opening it and expecting nothing to explode. Hope after you end rant, you are okay!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Over here.
Posts: 369
i'm angry too, LMN. and all my anger is being used against me. it's turned into the reason why "this can never work" and it's become the number one topic...the damage my REACTIONS have done. i handle it terribly sometimes and i do yell and i do say things in not-so-nice ways so it's easy for me to then accept that blame and feel i have no right to say anything. i'd love to be at a point where i don't even care enough to get mad.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 528
Originally Posted by Faithlove 
Ok, sorry for hijacking your post. I think we'd both be better off if we separated from our husbands for at least 6 months.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
i think we all have our little break downs. we pull our selves up & try again to do the best we can. this is what our program can do for us. wipe your self off & try again. we r the winners & we can do it one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
I'm with hope213....
Damage tolerance is where it's at.
Perfection is a lie and everyone reading these words knows
it.Chasing that lie has probably ruined as many lives as
any form of substance abuse---and is probably the root
cause of most of it.How does the saying go? Perfect is
the enemy of the good? Not to mention.......deadly dull.
What's interesting? People who can take a few direct hits
and keep on operating.They aren't the type to see some blood
on the windscreen and start screaming "Oh my God!" 87,000 times.
They turn on the wipers so they can SEE to OPERATE.
THAT'S interesting;people who survive & operate are interesting.
Any aerophiles out there know what a Warthog is (Google Image
it,ignore pics of tusked pigs-although THEY look pretty tough,too!)....
ugly as sin but it can take a direct hit from a 57mm cannon (or a few)
and still go home.
My short experience with SR provides no indication that it
is populated by those who cannot operate if their paint gets a
little scuffed and/or chipped.And although the whole thing has
been the result of a wrong turn---since corrected..........
............I am still in awe.And always will be.
Damage tolerance is where it's at.
Perfection is a lie and everyone reading these words knows
it.Chasing that lie has probably ruined as many lives as
any form of substance abuse---and is probably the root
cause of most of it.How does the saying go? Perfect is
the enemy of the good? Not to mention.......deadly dull.
What's interesting? People who can take a few direct hits
and keep on operating.They aren't the type to see some blood
on the windscreen and start screaming "Oh my God!" 87,000 times.
They turn on the wipers so they can SEE to OPERATE.
THAT'S interesting;people who survive & operate are interesting.
Any aerophiles out there know what a Warthog is (Google Image
it,ignore pics of tusked pigs-although THEY look pretty tough,too!)....
ugly as sin but it can take a direct hit from a 57mm cannon (or a few)
and still go home.
My short experience with SR provides no indication that it
is populated by those who cannot operate if their paint gets a
little scuffed and/or chipped.And although the whole thing has
been the result of a wrong turn---since corrected..........
............I am still in awe.And always will be.
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