74JAMIE

I posted about a month ago about my meth addict husband, and how he once again promised to quit which I knew wouldn't happen but at the time I didn't feel emotionally strong enough to walk away. I have started counseling, going to Al-Anon, giving things to my HP instead of trying to handle it all, writing in a journal. And I have come a long way in just a months time. I asked him to leave last night. So far it's been calm, hoping it will continue to go smoothly but I am not anticipating that. I know I have to stand my ground and not allow him to manipulate me. He's already started with I'm the one throwing our relationship away. I am not even trying save our marriage. I have been the one in the wrong lying to him pretending everything was ok when I was really unhappy. And on and on and on. It's so exhausting. I wish he could see just a sliver of the damage he's done to me emotionally and mentally. He just cannot see it and never will. What he does is "no big deal". It's not hurting me, it's not affecting me. YEAH OK!! So I'm just trying to be strong, for me and my son. I know this is for the best.

mmk11

Addicts love to blame, don't fall into the trap. You are strong and you can do this.

In my own experience, when my AH's drinking as accompanying sh*tty behaviors got too much for me and I wanted to separate, AH guilted me into staying. When I got in the way of AH's addiction one too many times, he was ready to separate and divorce all in an instant, no discussion. No amount of crying or using his same justifications to get him to stay - the ones that he used to get me to stay- worked.

LoveMeNow

Sounds like you are really taking care of you and your son! Way to go!!!

FindingErica

After AH made some manipulation laden apologies, he determined that that was sufficient repair work and therefore all the blame for the divorce now rested squarely on my shoulders. It is the same story, different family, different addict. Good for you for taking care of you and your son. Ive found my best decisions are made when I do what gives my kids stability ans peace.

74JAMIE

Being strong is easier said than done. He's so manipulating and I am trying to keep in mind that that's all it is is pure manipulation. He's crying, begging, swearing he can quit now. Doesn't want us to live apart because he doesn't feel like he can do it if I am not with him. Just keeps throwing all this stuff at me that I am not having the right response for and it ends up in a battle of emotions that I didn't want. I'm just not dealing with this well. I felt so strong when I told him to leave but this is so hard. I can't give into him. I just can't.

hello-kitty

Everytime he opens his mouth just picture a bubble with the words "blah blah blah" coming out of it. His actions will speak louder than his words. RIght now he's just quacking and trying to maintain his addiction in comfort of your home around the comfort of his family. He wants what he wants so of course he's manipulating to try to keep everything status quo. That's just what addicts do. I think the best way to deal with it is to just walk away. Do not engage. Set a boundary. "I will not involve myself in discussions with active drug addicts about what is best for me and my child. I will leave the situation."

Do you have a sponsor at your al-anon meetings? When you feel weak and alone is when you should call those phone numbers...

Vale

actions=everything
words=nothing

Rosiepetal

Unfortunately if he continues to use meth then the blame will probably last some time. My marriage split to meth use, I used & so did my husband & over time it got worse & worse. I wanted out for ages but he continued to use. He ended marriage & hooked up with my best mate, also a user. I moved out with my children, went to rehab & got clean. I had care of my 2 children who were my blessing. The blame & threats & nastiness lasted for years. I ended up having to go to the police because his nastiness was affecting my mental health. My kids & I got our life back on track & they have grown into thriving kids.
Believe me if he continues using it will only get worse.
You are making a healthy choice, good for you, go for all the help & support you can get as it helps.