supportforme

It's official - I'm divorced. As I was leaving the courthouse my lawyer congratulated me and it was like a knife in my heart. There is a part of me that feels relief after the years of pain and suffering but all I could think of is what a waste. What a waste of a precious family, loving wife and beautiful children - destroyed over a pill, chasing that high for what. Everything that is worth anything is left in devastation. How does a wonderful, caring father turn into this monster. I know I did the right thing, I have no doubts about the divorce - I've mourned the loss of my husband along time ago. I haven't had a partner in years. What rips me to shreds is the pain of what my boys had taken away from them. He had no right to destroy their lives and shatter their family. I pray that the knowledge and living through the reality of how addiction destroys lives gives my boys the strength they need to never sucumb to addiction themselves. I know I'll be ok but I feel so much sorrow and pain for what my boys have to deal with. There is no explaination, there's nothing I can do to cure or fix him. I'm here. Now, all I can do is take care of myself and my boys. When does the sorrow and pain stop over the waste.

LoveMeNow

awe, I am so sorry supportforme! I am sure it's very painful. You are so right, such a waste.

I know God has a plan for all us and if your EXAH's addiction saves another generation from addiction, then something good can come of it.

I pray he continues to seek recovery so he can become the father your kids deserve.

FindingErica

So sad and you are right, it is such a waste. I don't understand what makes someone throw their life away.

cece1960

I'm sorry (((supportforme))).
I felt the same way when I left the courthouse years ago.

outtolunch

Addiction is an equal opportunity destroyer. I believe that for many of us addiction in the family leads to a post traumatic stress-like disorder. Sometime grief counselling and/or EMDR therapy can help work through the saddness and pain. Could it hurt?

supportforme

Thanks for your support. I've continue to work with my therapist. I just pray that he finds his path to recovery so that he can become the dad my boys deserve again one day.

Supersarah

I hear ya! These are my thoughts and feelings too. I think it's harder when it's so unexpected, when there has been a good and decent person who has gone off the rails. Wishing you peace xx