Throwing Out The Rule Book - Language of Letting Go
 

Throwing Out the Rule Book

Many of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of knowing what's going to happen, and how we shall act.

We don't trust life or ourselves.

We don't trust the Plan.

We want to be in control.

"I've made terrible mistakes about my choices, mistakes that nearly destroyed me. Life has really shocked me. How can I trust myself? How can I trust life, and my instincts, after where I've been?" asked one woman.

It is understandable that we fear being crushed again, considering the way many of us were when we bottomed out on our codependency. We don't have to be fearful. We can trust our self, our path, and our instincts.

Yes, we want to avoid making the same mistakes again. We are not the same people we were yesterday or last year. We've learned, grown, changed. We did what we needed to do then. If we made a mistake, we cannot let that stop us from living and fully experiencing today.

We have arrived at the understanding that we needed our experiences - even our mistakes - to get to where we are today. Do we know that we needed our life to unfold exactly as it did to find ourselves, our Higher Power, and this new way of life? Or is part of us still calling our past a mistake?

We can let go of our past and trust ourselves now. We do not have to punish ourselves with our past. We don't need a rulebook, a microscope, a warranty. All we really need is a mirror. We can look into the mirror and say, "I trust you. No matter what happens, you can take care of yourself. And what happens will continue to be good, better than you think."

Today, I will stop clinging to the painful lessons of the past. I will open myself to the positive lessons today and tomorrow hold for me. I trust that I can and will take care of myself now. I trust that the Plan is good, even when I don't know what it is.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

I have said before that I wouldn't wish my life on my worst enemy...but I would not trade one day of it with anyone, because if I had not lived through the lessons and heartache of the past, I would not be in the beautiful place I am in my life today. The mistakes of my past are the lessons that keep me on a good path today.

There is a quote from the Shawshank Redemption that says "Get busy living or get busy dying" . Once I went through the transformation from victim to survivor, once I let go of the problem of my son's addiction and began living in the solution of my own recovery...my life changed and I got busy living because life is too precious to waste one single day.

My son is still lost somewhere in his addiction, I cannot change that. But I say a prayer each morning giving my son's care to God...and then I get busy living life as it was meant to be lived, finding the joy and beauty in every single day.

Hugs

Ann - you are AMAZING - Strong and beautiful. We are blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you

Ann: Reading and thinking about the Language of Letting Go threads you've offered this week has helped me to continue to push for balance and serenity in my life. :thanks

This book, The Language of Letting Go, has been one of my favourite recovery books and I have worn out two copies and given away probably 10 or more.

I find Melody Beattie inspires me with all she writes. She is one of us, she is actually a double winner...both recovering addict (the kind who breaks into drug stores and goes to jail full blown kind) and a recovering codependent who has a way that touches my heart more than anyone else.

She too had to follow her path of self-destruction to get to the place she is today and what a gift she is to all of us. Sometimes God's gifts come strangely wrapped, but the blessings keep coming every day.

I am so glad that sharing the message here helps so many of you feel touched by her words too.

Hugs

Thank you, sweet Ann. I love the way you look at life!