LoveMeNow

Then I am moving in with you and your STBEX can move here!! Then we can make a reality TV show, make millions and travel the world. lol

Ann

When I first arrived at SR, there was a member named Ogly who used to tell me over and over (much to my annoyance because she was absolutely right) to "stop trying to second guess tomorrow". Sheesh I hated to hear that because I spent much or most of my todays trying to figure out how tomorrow would unfold. The thing is, no matter how much I worried, planned, plotted, argued, reasoned, and tried to manipulate....I discovered I had no power over how tomorrow unfolded....that's enough to annoy a codie right into a snit.

He can "think" whatever he wants. Saying it out loud gets a reaction from you...which is attention...which he wants. If he's planning a relapse, nothing you say will stop him. If he's not, nothing you say will drive him to one.

Let go, sweetie, decide what works for you and what doesn't and then live with that. Telling him that "you" have a boundary, makes it a threat and threats don't work either...if they did, not one of us would be here.

Let him babble away, don't give him space in your head, and live your own recovery instead of trying to predict his....said with love in my heart.

Hugs to you

Lara

I also dabble with this one -if I am posting then obviously it is on my mind. But that is okay LoveMeNot..... all part of the journey.
It does seem that the he is already 'prepping' you for a relapse - or he is at least having the internal debate. I pray he doesn't. Stand firm. you are doing great! It is really tough to just 'hand it over' and step away and not allow your emotions be affected by the addict's /recovering addict's decisions and actions. But this is what makes us human and is part of our journey on this earth.... I think we need to be more gentle on ourselves sometimes...

LoveMeNow

Thank You Ann - Wow, I needed the reminder about living for TODAY!! And I had just read that in the Language of Letting Go! ugh Old habits are hard to break.

Thanks Lara for the needed reminder of being gentle with myself. Came at the exact time because I could have easily been frustrated about my bad habits.

Doesn't matter what anyone does because God's got it, HE has a plan for me.

P.S. I have too much time on my hands this week and that isn't always a good thing for me.

MsPINKAcres

I heart an Al-Anon speaker at a convention once say that she finally had all her duck in a row only to find out they weren't her ducks!!!

Nothing wrong with having a plan, but remember we can't plan for everything ~ sometimes we just have to trust our HP and trust our recovery ~

just an f y i -
PINK HUGS,
Rita

supportforme

LMN-
Hang in there - Can you imagine if they lived together - Now that's a comedy show that I would watch and they would get the millions

LoveMeNow

lol, but we aren't divorced yet so we can take half.

How about reality TV - Codependents Housewives.

cangel2

Ms Pink: Quote "I heard an Al-Anon speaker at a convention once say that she finally had all her duck in a row only to find out they weren't her ducks!!!"

This is brilliant!!! Thank You!!!

LMV: I love your posts and I think you are doing great! Someone told me once to "stop renting space in your head to _____". For some reason that really resonated with me so when I start fixing, obsessing, what iffing in my head about what someone else I remind myself to stop renting space.....besides....what are you getting for that space anyway???