It's coming, and I am ready
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 167
It's coming, and I am ready
Today, my teenage son's probation officer comes to confront him.
Got a belated call from his PO yesterday. He told me my son was definitely drinking at the game. He went to get his breathalyzer but my son beat it out of there and got home from the FB game early.
That was the weekend my husband and I took some me time. It's taken this long for the PO to get back to me, even though I told him that I suspected my son had stolen the morphine out of my bag. (He's the boy who fell while on vacation in Vermont, and it was prescribed for him. Stupidly, I kept it in my bag, rather than locked up. I was on deadline and busy taking care of him, and just never found the time. Stupid, right? But there it is.)
Funny thing is, he's been going to meetings, doing his homework, being respectful, etc. He's just learned to lie to my face better.
I understand that it's nothing personal. I do think the traumatic accident--and the morphine--messed him up, but in the end, he made a foolish choice. And why? Because my son is ... what? An alcoholic? An addict? His DOC is weed, but he's a practical lad; he's switched to alcohol to beat the drug tests.
I smelled it on his breath Sunday morning. He had a hangover.
He doesn't know I know any of this.
I don't know what the meeting with the PO will result in. He broke his home contract, that much is true. His PO wants him to go back to his aftercare (offered free after you go through IOP). He needs to make meetings. After all the school he's missed, I'm not enthusiastic about rehab.
The grounding part is the worst. All his stuff taken away--phone, electronics, etc. He's going to be insufferable, and I have to deal with it. My husband has addiction issues of his own (food); he just can't take this on. I know this, because he's proven he can't take it on in the past.
So...I don't know. I've got my recovery and my God, and my son has his mother and his God. One day at a time; progress not perfection. We begin again.
I write here to get it out and to make it real. I hope this all makes sense.
Got a belated call from his PO yesterday. He told me my son was definitely drinking at the game. He went to get his breathalyzer but my son beat it out of there and got home from the FB game early.
That was the weekend my husband and I took some me time. It's taken this long for the PO to get back to me, even though I told him that I suspected my son had stolen the morphine out of my bag. (He's the boy who fell while on vacation in Vermont, and it was prescribed for him. Stupidly, I kept it in my bag, rather than locked up. I was on deadline and busy taking care of him, and just never found the time. Stupid, right? But there it is.)
Funny thing is, he's been going to meetings, doing his homework, being respectful, etc. He's just learned to lie to my face better.
I understand that it's nothing personal. I do think the traumatic accident--and the morphine--messed him up, but in the end, he made a foolish choice. And why? Because my son is ... what? An alcoholic? An addict? His DOC is weed, but he's a practical lad; he's switched to alcohol to beat the drug tests.
I smelled it on his breath Sunday morning. He had a hangover.
He doesn't know I know any of this.
I don't know what the meeting with the PO will result in. He broke his home contract, that much is true. His PO wants him to go back to his aftercare (offered free after you go through IOP). He needs to make meetings. After all the school he's missed, I'm not enthusiastic about rehab.
The grounding part is the worst. All his stuff taken away--phone, electronics, etc. He's going to be insufferable, and I have to deal with it. My husband has addiction issues of his own (food); he just can't take this on. I know this, because he's proven he can't take it on in the past.
So...I don't know. I've got my recovery and my God, and my son has his mother and his God. One day at a time; progress not perfection. We begin again.
I write here to get it out and to make it real. I hope this all makes sense.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
My 16 yr old son is on probation and was put in the drug court program. He was able to beat many drugs tests by his own admission. I don't know why, but I was shocked by the creativity and effort he put forth to do so. Many of these kids are turning to spice/k2 to beat the court ordered test. IMO, spice/k2 is far more harmful. I told the Judge this and she acted shocked. Really? They are now testing the kids in drug court for K2 but need to send their urine away to a lab. At one point, my son was using someone else's urine and passing them all.
The Judge and the JPO acted liked proud parents and praised him endlessly. I just wanted to scream!! I knew he was still using but his JPO insisted I was wrong.
The Judge and the JPO acted liked proud parents and praised him endlessly. I just wanted to scream!! I knew he was still using but his JPO insisted I was wrong.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 167
Yup, LoveMeNot...they're pretty creative, arent they? I am disgusted but amused...would that they'd put as much creativity into their schoolwork, or in his case, his writing...he is a gifted writer. (And your son's JPO sounds like an idiot, sorry to say.)
Well, it's over. Drug references (legal weed) all over his phone.
He is back to aftercare, meetings three times a week, grounded three days before his 16th birthday.
He is outside, acting catatonic. He threw stuff at me while the probation officer was here, trying to **** me off. Whatever. Didn't cause, can't cure, etc.
We will go on.
Well, it's over. Drug references (legal weed) all over his phone.
He is back to aftercare, meetings three times a week, grounded three days before his 16th birthday.
He is outside, acting catatonic. He threw stuff at me while the probation officer was here, trying to **** me off. Whatever. Didn't cause, can't cure, etc.
We will go on.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Legal weed is K2/spice and the stuff is so awful and dangerous. Many people order it off the internet also. There are couple of good threads on SR about it.
Lol, my son's JPO is a real idiot. She is an atheist who blogs on all atheist sites under her real name. The judge is an idiot too. My son's therapist told me the "joke" was that all the therapists know - that as long she is on the bench, they have job security. They are giving my son a gift card and a certificate of graduation although he just spent 3 days in juvie for drinking. Talk about enabling! Wow!!
Lol, my son's JPO is a real idiot. She is an atheist who blogs on all atheist sites under her real name. The judge is an idiot too. My son's therapist told me the "joke" was that all the therapists know - that as long she is on the bench, they have job security. They are giving my son a gift card and a certificate of graduation although he just spent 3 days in juvie for drinking. Talk about enabling! Wow!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
LMN, how sad for your son the system is letting him down just like they did my son I begged for him to be put in a place called mount megis it is a teen like prison he had a special interest probation officer because of his disorder who told me no said he couldn't make it in there she also did not make him do everything the others did in boot camp well guess what as soon as he turned 18 he went to jail and is now in prison they let him skate under 18 saying his DX well once your an adult that is out the window and should have been out the entire time.
he could have possibly learned something before it got this far what an injustice IMO.
he could have possibly learned something before it got this far what an injustice IMO.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 167
My son will be off probation in two weeks. He's been on for a year, mostly because I asked that it be extended. I see that I was wrong; the training wheels will come off. We'll see whether he wants recovery, or more of what he's had.
I talked to someone in my home group today, who commented that my response to this is simply as a parent, not as a parent in recovery. I think that is exactly what I needed to hear.
He's grounded for a week for breaking the contract. Then we go on as usual, except that he'll be going to aftercare and I will offer him the option of meetings.
I can pray, but the rest is up to him and God.
I talked to someone in my home group today, who commented that my response to this is simply as a parent, not as a parent in recovery. I think that is exactly what I needed to hear.
He's grounded for a week for breaking the contract. Then we go on as usual, except that he'll be going to aftercare and I will offer him the option of meetings.
I can pray, but the rest is up to him and God.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
