I pulled one of his stunts the other night
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 21
I pulled one of his stunts the other night
My boyfriend has been going to his outpatient program like he is supposed to. He is back on speaking terms with his parents after the argument when he broke her cabinet full of figurines. I guess they were actually expensive like 200 each or something.
He doesn’t like the outpatient and wants to switch to something else; but the appointments with counseling doctors are like as much as the price of each figurine. I think that gave him a little perspective. His insurance covers part of it at least. He is thinking he will do both for a while, and I think that is a really good idea.
The other night we had an argument; it wasn’t anything he did really . He had this attitude and I was tired and stressed out, and I said some things I shouldn’t. Then he left the room, and I grabbed my keys and just left. It was about 1030pm. I didn’t have anywhere to go, and I thought about a lot of options but ended up driving around. I drove a long way. Crying, feeling sorry for myself, cursing him out, more crying until I could not breathe and had no tissues in the car. Crying so much I couldn’t even go in anywhere to get any, or go through a drivethru for a drink and napkins. And he called me after about an hour, just like I had done to him so many time. Sweet, worried, where are you, please come home ,we can talk, Im sorry if I upset you. And I drove further, and an hour later he called again. So familiar but odd to be on the other end of it.
I finally went home, still crying. For the first time in weeks he was there for me emotionally. He held me and listened to me, and cried a little with me at how things had changed and how uncertain everything was now. He reassured me that he is trying; that he doesn’t want to use meth or any drugs. But that it is hard and he is also scared because he cant always control how he feels.
Im sure its all ramblings that each of you had heard before; but he seemed sincere and he does seem to be trying. It was the first time in a long time that I fell asleep with him and felt like I was safe, and that he loved me, and that things would be ok. I know you probably all think that is stupid. Since then things have been better; we have been closer and he does seem to be trying. He worked tonight on an assignment for his outpatient, and he just finished it. I think right now this is all I can ask of him; to keep working on it.
But I take all of what you said to heart, and I wont stay if he starts using and I see any signs of the crazy behavior coming back. Its so hard seeing someone you love turn into a monster because of meth.
He doesn’t like the outpatient and wants to switch to something else; but the appointments with counseling doctors are like as much as the price of each figurine. I think that gave him a little perspective. His insurance covers part of it at least. He is thinking he will do both for a while, and I think that is a really good idea.
The other night we had an argument; it wasn’t anything he did really . He had this attitude and I was tired and stressed out, and I said some things I shouldn’t. Then he left the room, and I grabbed my keys and just left. It was about 1030pm. I didn’t have anywhere to go, and I thought about a lot of options but ended up driving around. I drove a long way. Crying, feeling sorry for myself, cursing him out, more crying until I could not breathe and had no tissues in the car. Crying so much I couldn’t even go in anywhere to get any, or go through a drivethru for a drink and napkins. And he called me after about an hour, just like I had done to him so many time. Sweet, worried, where are you, please come home ,we can talk, Im sorry if I upset you. And I drove further, and an hour later he called again. So familiar but odd to be on the other end of it.
I finally went home, still crying. For the first time in weeks he was there for me emotionally. He held me and listened to me, and cried a little with me at how things had changed and how uncertain everything was now. He reassured me that he is trying; that he doesn’t want to use meth or any drugs. But that it is hard and he is also scared because he cant always control how he feels.
Im sure its all ramblings that each of you had heard before; but he seemed sincere and he does seem to be trying. It was the first time in a long time that I fell asleep with him and felt like I was safe, and that he loved me, and that things would be ok. I know you probably all think that is stupid. Since then things have been better; we have been closer and he does seem to be trying. He worked tonight on an assignment for his outpatient, and he just finished it. I think right now this is all I can ask of him; to keep working on it.
But I take all of what you said to heart, and I wont stay if he starts using and I see any signs of the crazy behavior coming back. Its so hard seeing someone you love turn into a monster because of meth.
Let go and Let God!
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 352
As an addict, I can tell you he means what he is saying. But words aren't enough. He has to take action. You say he is in outpatient, which is wonderful, but is he going to any NA meetings? He needs something to help him change his life. It took the steps and a new set of friends for me to change. Both I found in the rooms of AA and NA.
Stick to your boundaries and focus on you. Wish you both the best of luck in your roads of recovery.
Stick to your boundaries and focus on you. Wish you both the best of luck in your roads of recovery.
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