Whats on the menu: Manipulation with a side of Who Me?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 528
Whats on the menu: Manipulation with a side of Who Me?
This is probably inconsequential but seems to be the latest in the lineup of things my AH does to manipulate. He left a laptop here for the kids to "enjoy". He had it fixed so it wouldnt overheat anymore. I dont have a laptop, just my iPad. He is a computer software engineer. So three weekends ago when he was here, he asked for the admin password my nephew had changed the account so he could get on and install a net nanny and some other controls to keep the kids off bad stuff. So he asks me for the passwords to the admin account and net nanny. I didnt think anything of it. Fast forward almost two weeks later, my nephew points out the net nanny program has been deleted. He goes to reinstall, and my AH has changed the password to the admin acct, the password hint "none of ya business.".
So AH writes me today asking when can we do mediation over the phone. I being up the computer, state the facts and that it will be in the mail this week. He writes back asking why I didnt ask for the password. Given the hint I think it is obvious. So i state that. He has his Mr Innocent act on, he doesnt want the computer back it is for the kids but belongs to him, but he doesnt want the passowrd changed or to be prevented from using the computer. He DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN THE STATE!!! I write back, fine what is the password. No more responses.
I know this is small and kind of dumb, but he is compromising the kids safety on the net in order to be a baby and irritate me. Computer is going back to him in the mail. Boundaries! So mad and the kids will be upset. I am looking for a replacement laptop, more expense. Ugh! But this is just more proof that even though he is working and claims to be clean, he is still manipulating and has anger. That is why I wont go back to him, ever. All the problems are still there, drugs or no drugs.
So AH writes me today asking when can we do mediation over the phone. I being up the computer, state the facts and that it will be in the mail this week. He writes back asking why I didnt ask for the password. Given the hint I think it is obvious. So i state that. He has his Mr Innocent act on, he doesnt want the computer back it is for the kids but belongs to him, but he doesnt want the passowrd changed or to be prevented from using the computer. He DOESNT EVEN LIVE IN THE STATE!!! I write back, fine what is the password. No more responses.
I know this is small and kind of dumb, but he is compromising the kids safety on the net in order to be a baby and irritate me. Computer is going back to him in the mail. Boundaries! So mad and the kids will be upset. I am looking for a replacement laptop, more expense. Ugh! But this is just more proof that even though he is working and claims to be clean, he is still manipulating and has anger. That is why I wont go back to him, ever. All the problems are still there, drugs or no drugs.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,849
I was thinking the same as LMN. If you're going to get a replacement laptop anyway, just stash that one away in a closet somewhere. Of course, you might just sell it and use the money for a new one, but that may be more trouble than it's worth, considering how he might react.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 528
I probably should just stash it and get another one. I won't use it because I don't want any of my personal info on the hard drive. It is not a huge problem in the scheme of things, I'm just tired of having to continually play defense against the annoying stuff he comes up with.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
LMN beat me to it, rofl
Have it wiped clean, have the programs the kids use, reinstaled, along
with net nanny, and give the tech(s) a password for admin use that he
would never dream of, maybe one of the 'handles' here of someone that
has helped you a lot.
Much cheaper than a new laptop, and the kids can say 'thank you daddy,'
and he won't be able to check one damn thing, roflmao
Oh, and your title for this thread really cracked me up!!!! I laughed so
hard I had tears in my eyes, lol
Love and hugs,
Have it wiped clean, have the programs the kids use, reinstaled, along
with net nanny, and give the tech(s) a password for admin use that he
would never dream of, maybe one of the 'handles' here of someone that
has helped you a lot.
Much cheaper than a new laptop, and the kids can say 'thank you daddy,'
and he won't be able to check one damn thing, roflmao
Oh, and your title for this thread really cracked me up!!!! I laughed so
hard I had tears in my eyes, lol
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 75
I spent $60 to have the password reset with our computer tech guy from work. Reset the password to what I wanted and if he didn't like it, well, too stinking bad. WAY cheaper than a new laptop.
Then ask if he wants the kids to "enjoy" a laptop or if he's looking for control. Just my thoughts. Hope it works out.
Then ask if he wants the kids to "enjoy" a laptop or if he's looking for control. Just my thoughts. Hope it works out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 528
My sister in law asked if he put some kind of program on it that allows him to monitor the activity on the laptop. Makes me wonder if it is a set up. No parental controls and he can log that the kids went on a bad website. Computer is going up today until I figure out a course of action. It just makes me mad he cant just give his kids something.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Erica,
Likely without being technical you can restore the laptop to factory settings yourself right out of the box. That makes it like the day it was made, the only thing is you will then have to do all the windows updates and set up the Antivirus etc. If you want to do that free and aren't sure how PM me with the make and model number in full from the bottom of the laptop. I can look it up and give you directions. And yes if he is an engineer he could have put in a keylogger.
Likely without being technical you can restore the laptop to factory settings yourself right out of the box. That makes it like the day it was made, the only thing is you will then have to do all the windows updates and set up the Antivirus etc. If you want to do that free and aren't sure how PM me with the make and model number in full from the bottom of the laptop. I can look it up and give you directions. And yes if he is an engineer he could have put in a keylogger.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
He's computer savvy and there are ways for him to program that computer and get in to see all sorts of activity. There are keyloggers and there are other ways to gain remote access and use the camera on the computer to actually watch what goes on in your home.
If you don't have your home modem password protected....do so now.
Then change the password frequently.
And don't use that laptop anymore.
There is a reason he was bugging out about the password.
There's a reason he "fixed" the computer so it didn't overheat anymore.
And there's a reason he "gave" it to the kids to use.
How can somebody spy on your webcam? – Topics in Digital Media
If you don't have your home modem password protected....do so now.
Then change the password frequently.
And don't use that laptop anymore.
There is a reason he was bugging out about the password.
There's a reason he "fixed" the computer so it didn't overheat anymore.
And there's a reason he "gave" it to the kids to use.
How can somebody spy on your webcam? – Topics in Digital Media
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 528
Yep I feel something is going on, he has been oddly quiet for two weeks. Also, he stated, if you wanted the password why didn't you ask, when a normal person would have just given the password. Then he stopped responding when I asked for it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
I have a suggestion, only because I would want to know exactly what is on the machine before anything.
You can visit the following site and post in the spy ware/malware section.
Geeks to Go! – Free help from tech experts
Awesome place, free to boot! If you want to really what is going on. I am more concerned with knowing what he can have access to, not so much changing anything at this moment. I like to know what I am dealing with.
Be as specific as possible with your concerns and this he is computer savvy … these are some of the smartest people around.
You need to run an OTL. This will tell them everything running in your system, they will guide you through removing any key logger programs or any programs that are tracking you and seeing what you are doing while on the machine. Or give other options based on what they see. The reality is that the technology is there for some really creepy **** to go on.
Also if he is smart, he wiped all the restore points in windows restore. If you have discs you could dump and run a clean install, it is relatively easy, but no one should have to do that.
If you do not have discs, no problem most system have the info stored and you can burn your own right from the machine itself.
In terms of passwords, they should always be a mix of number and letters, upper and lower case, at least 8 characters, and nothing related to you at all. And I agree your modem should be password protected if it isn’t and I would change that one right now if it is.
Another suggestion is to look up on the net if there is a way based on operating system to change your admin pasword. It can be done in XP fairly easily but I have never had to do it with my newer machines.
You can visit the following site and post in the spy ware/malware section.
Geeks to Go! – Free help from tech experts
Awesome place, free to boot! If you want to really what is going on. I am more concerned with knowing what he can have access to, not so much changing anything at this moment. I like to know what I am dealing with.
Be as specific as possible with your concerns and this he is computer savvy … these are some of the smartest people around.
You need to run an OTL. This will tell them everything running in your system, they will guide you through removing any key logger programs or any programs that are tracking you and seeing what you are doing while on the machine. Or give other options based on what they see. The reality is that the technology is there for some really creepy **** to go on.
Also if he is smart, he wiped all the restore points in windows restore. If you have discs you could dump and run a clean install, it is relatively easy, but no one should have to do that.
If you do not have discs, no problem most system have the info stored and you can burn your own right from the machine itself.
In terms of passwords, they should always be a mix of number and letters, upper and lower case, at least 8 characters, and nothing related to you at all. And I agree your modem should be password protected if it isn’t and I would change that one right now if it is.
Another suggestion is to look up on the net if there is a way based on operating system to change your admin pasword. It can be done in XP fairly easily but I have never had to do it with my newer machines.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Forgive me for saying this but...throw the dang thing out. In the garbage, to the curb.
Poo on him and his manipulation and possible spying. Poo on him using the kids to manipulate.
Throw the dang thing out and poo on him. When you can afford it, get another. Kids can live without a computer for a while. I grew up, got married, started a career and had a full life, long before computers were even invented.
It might be a wonderful adventure to learn to live without a computer.
Yes, that's my final answer Regis, throw the dang thing out and poo on him...in that order.
Hugs
P.S. Did I say poo on him? Manipulation schanipulation, he's a jerk....and poo on him. I think I'm done now.
Poo on him and his manipulation and possible spying. Poo on him using the kids to manipulate.
Throw the dang thing out and poo on him. When you can afford it, get another. Kids can live without a computer for a while. I grew up, got married, started a career and had a full life, long before computers were even invented.
It might be a wonderful adventure to learn to live without a computer.
Yes, that's my final answer Regis, throw the dang thing out and poo on him...in that order.
Hugs
P.S. Did I say poo on him? Manipulation schanipulation, he's a jerk....and poo on him. I think I'm done now.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
He is so very cute...isn't he?
Personally, if you can afford it, I would just buy a new one. He is up to no good, there is a
reason he did what he did, possibly to go to X rated sites and say that you allow your children to do view them....or something else as sinister.
Personally, if you can afford it, I would just buy a new one. He is up to no good, there is a
reason he did what he did, possibly to go to X rated sites and say that you allow your children to do view them....or something else as sinister.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 398
Absolutely assume he's loaded spyware on it!
I'd get rid of it! Sell it or throw it away!!!! I wouldn't even hide it in my home.
He's such a sweetie pie- trying to protect you and the kids! I can't believe you don't want to immediately reconcile! Ugh!!!
It's a good thing you posted about this.....even though you may have originally thought it was a silly post. Now others are reminded about key loggers, etc.
Thanks!!
I'd get rid of it! Sell it or throw it away!!!! I wouldn't even hide it in my home.
He's such a sweetie pie- trying to protect you and the kids! I can't believe you don't want to immediately reconcile! Ugh!!!
It's a good thing you posted about this.....even though you may have originally thought it was a silly post. Now others are reminded about key loggers, etc.
Thanks!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 528
Fortunately I dont do anything on that computer, so he cant get my password to anything. I can afford to get the kids a cheap laptop. My nephew has already started wiping the drive before i got home from work. I sure hope it doesnt accidentally fall off our deck.
He did another odd thing the first time he came out, was asking what my IP address is, because he was trying to "fix" the laptop. I said i didnt know because I dont for one thing. He picked up my UVerse DVR and snapped a pic of the bottom with his iphone. Claiming he couldnt read the small numbers. That isnt our modem though, that is located elsewhere but it made me suspicious of him.
He did another odd thing the first time he came out, was asking what my IP address is, because he was trying to "fix" the laptop. I said i didnt know because I dont for one thing. He picked up my UVerse DVR and snapped a pic of the bottom with his iphone. Claiming he couldnt read the small numbers. That isnt our modem though, that is located elsewhere but it made me suspicious of him.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
You need to start changing and pass wording all your accounts - even with your cable company. He knows what and how to do it. You need to be on guard!!
He has nothing on you right now, you have enough. He wants a "fairer" playing field for financial reasons and will try to get something on you so he can have the power and control back and cause you fear.
He has nothing on you right now, you have enough. He wants a "fairer" playing field for financial reasons and will try to get something on you so he can have the power and control back and cause you fear.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Change the passwords on everything and restore the laptop to factory. If that laptop is on your private network it has access to the other systems on a home nerwork. Then just remember that no one should have physical access as in being alone with a computer. This applies to smart phones and any other data connectivity devices especially tablets phones and computers.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
