souper

Thanks again to all the replies.
Even as horrible as this nightmare is, I laughed when I read some of the posts. Especially "My final thought, I wouldn't put it past an addict to "accidentally" fall off of his semi-truck in an attempt to get Rx narcotics. My AH liked to go to his dentist, foot dr., etc. " Because honestly I had thought of this as well. Its pathetic. But I feel very understood and not so alone when I read through this site, alot of the things people write are so familiar and I see alot of these things in my AH or RAH. Not quite sure which way to put it as he says he quit about a month ago.
I don't really believe him. Yet when we talk about this, I have to say he's REALLY convincing and I pretty much believe him. Then reality sets in and I start doubting. I just have a hard time believing that he went from stealing from his parents to just quiting. And all the lying. ugh.
I wish this nightmare would just end already. I've been through alot in my 28 years. I never tried drugs or smoking. No I've not been a 'good girl' all the time but I knew better than to do drugs. But its when you have to deal with it, is when you realize you have NO idea what you are dealing with, and thats when all the researching and googling begans.. I'm rambling, sorry.

souper

To Faithlove,

Thanks for your story and support,

Right now, its all so new, So I don't know what the future holds for us.
I am financially dependent on AH ( I decided to call him that because I'm not sure if he honestly quit) I quit my job of 5yrs because we had our 4th child and its time to stay home to raise them. Plus, to hire a sitter for 4 children would require most of my paycheck, so not worth it money wise. My plan right now is to continue praying for him and watch him carefully (which is REALLY hard since he's away alot). Although this trip he's currently on will most likely be his last, because we (me and his family) are very concerned that he's still using and decided to ask him (when he gets home saturday) to stop driving long haul and go to rehab. If he won't, then our plan is to tell his boss that he's an A. I'm leaving this talk to his brother because my talks with AH don't go anywhere... "I quit, so lets talk about something else". I guess we'll see how it goes between the two brothers.
From my post on the 15th, I wrote about AH falling from top of his truck while securing a car, well he went to ER, and told me they gave him a lortab. When I asked him whether they gave him an RX for pain pills, he told me just ibuprofen. Well SURPRISE SURPRISE, he lied. I looked inside his truck and got the discharge papers. He got a script for lortab 5mg. 15 pills. Of course I confronted him. He said that he didn't tell me because I would panic and make a big fuss. Its still lying though.. I was mad about this. I told him that once an addict you cannot just take pain pills anymore... and he told me thats not the case with him. He said he took the perscribed amounts (1-2 every 6hrs). But to me its all the small details that tell me he's lying. Like when I asked him if he had any left, he said "I don't know, I need to look" PLEASE! you don't know yea right! Had he not said that then I might have believed him.
Yep, so even as I type this, I realize how it all sounds and what I fool I am for even believing him. He is just soooo convincing!!! Grrr! Very frusterating.
Anyway I'm working on the whole codie thing. I had a very hard time functioning when first found out the truth, but is getting better with every day. Praying and working on my relationship with God helps give me peace and hope. I have to say most of what I've read in other threads just scares me and leaves me hopeless. But God gives me peace and hope that everything is in His hands and He'll do the work, I can not do anything but be a good wife and pray for him. Nothing will change if I search his car/truck or raid through his stuff when he gets home. Nothing will change if I confront him and raise my voice at him and get really frusterated. Nothing will change unless he (AH) want to change and reaches out to God, Who then will change him. I have hope in that. In the meantime venting and reaching out on this site helps. And there are several posts that make me feel hopeful. And all posts are supportive and informative, so Thank you to all of you.
Again I feel like I'm rambling but it helps me to type it and know that there are others that are going though the same exact thing and know exactly what I'm talking about, although I wish it was something good that we all had in common..
Soup

February13

I personally would buy a drug test and ask him to take it.
You can buy them online. I guess you'd need one for opiates.
I doubt he is clean even now that he ran out of those lortab he got prescribed.

It's not a solution at all long term but just for a quick check I would totally do it.

Lulu39

My XAH drank and used pot. I had an alcohol breathalyser. He point blank REFUSED to ever use it.

crazybabie

Sorry to come along so late I have been away for awhile first welcome to the forum IMO, your husband will not have much chance of recovery until he works some kind of program the disease is to hard to just stop for most secondly my AH always says he has stopped and does good for a small amount of time then it is the same song and dance third and most important have YOU been to a meeting for YOU yet?

We really must work on our own sanity the sad truth is even with rehab etc... an addict staying recovered well is slim to say the least.

kmangel

If your husband was on the up and up he would have been upfront and honest with you. If he intended to use the pain meds properly, he would have been truthful to you and the doctors about his addiction and let you help him fight the temptation to over use the medication.

My son had a bout with kidney stones. Kidney stones are one of the most painful afflictions known to man and pain meds are the normal course of action. He knew what he was facing if he took any. He "told" me that he told the doctor he couldn't take pain meds, but he was lying. He got a prescription and where he was pre rehab was upon him. No taking a pill once every six hours. He took handfuls at a time. It didn't take long for me to realize what he was doing. I even spoke to the doctor he saw that he was a recovering opiate addict and he was prescribed pain meds. (He saw more than one doctor during the week he was passing stones). That week was a really surreal experience for me. He was very clever as he tried to hide what he was doing. One day he came to me with a bottle of pills, told me he didn't want the temptation anymore and flushed them down the toilet. Then he went out and got more pills. Who knows, he may have flushed Tylenol down the toilet for all I know. As an addict, they often don't make any sense at all. One time I asked him "How many of those pills did you take?" He was acting so strange. He went all "How can you say that to me, Mom? Do you know how that makes me feel?" As though I was off base. He was popping pills by the handfuls. This is just scratching the surface of that week. He was very active trying to fool everyone around him--including himself.

I do think the experience did teach my son a valuable lesson. He did stop taking the pain meds after a week and went through withdrawal. For two days he stayed holed up in his room. Then he emerged and we talked about what happened--and I told him his living with us had come to an end, he was on his own. He moved out a couple weeks later.

So, this journey you are on is full of lies and deceit. I do think my son is doing better now that he is not living at home. He is working and making better choices with his life now that he is on his own (he lives with his girlfriend). Maybe that week when he had kidney stones was a week he needed to experience to realize just how serious his addiction is. It will never go away. It will always loom over him.