crazybabie

I usually do not post for any specific person I have been reading your post and struggling for days as to post or not I keep getting pulled to post please know I am not saying these things will happen to you nor am I saying you are NOT in love I am just sharing experience that I hope can help you or at least help someone.


I moved out on my own when I was 15 and 2 weeks before my 16th birthday I moved in the house where my now AH lived we became a couple frrom the start.
We married when I turned 18 and him 19 and lived together until then.

My AH smoked pot I also on occasion smoked with him usually about once a month that was "normal" to me everyone in my family drank or did some drug except my grandparents who I was raised by off and on. I found out I was expecting my first child and quit AH continued. This man smoked so much that it blew my mind. I paid almost all the bills and took care of 3 kids almost alone.

Fast foward to three years ago we are now 47 and 48 AH needed a health card for his job so he could drive the wrecker he had started using opiates and xanax I had no clue then one day in 2009 he told me he did not want the responabilities of a wife anymore. I was floored I packed and left. I have continued to ride the roller coaster can't seem to makemyself get off.

I wish I had been smarter when I was your age I went through different levels of love after my marriage it was several years before I hit what I call real love. Noone could have told me there was different levels I wish I had known lol.

My daughter was dating a guy they saw each other for 4 years he was nice, good manners etc.. he had never took any drrugs but his brother did on his 19th birthday he decided to try cocaine with some people I of course did not know this at the time.

By age 21 he had 3 overdoses and the last one took his precious young life
My DD blames herself becauseshe had givenhim money he asked for and that is what he bought the drugs with.

I also have 2 sons who are addicted My oldest started using around age 13 or so I had no clue he has amental illness and I thought the things I was seeing came from that he is now 27 and in prison.

My other AS says he is clean but he is smoking pot so he isn't heis 24 he was in our local Sheriffs Cadet Program and also was the youngest our county had ever allowed in the Sheriff Reserves here.

A month after my DDs boyfriend overdosed my son overdosed and was not breathing in my living room I did CPR and waited on paramedics. When I went back to his room he was on a ventalitor hehad already survived cancer and thank God hesurvived the overdose he was at the funeral of DDs bf yet still did the same things and IMO still does.

I guess the point ofmy post is too let you know I understand several things about your situiation I understand being your age and loving someone who is using but I also understand where that leads if they do not change and sadly according to stastics most don't.

I also want you to be aware of the chances of any children you may would have with him if you stay in the relationship have a high chance of being an addict or ending up in a relationship with one.

You have the support of your parents something I never had this will be painful for you so much to digest you just found all this out you will grieve and likely go throug that cycle a bit.

I can't tell you what to do only you can decide that what I can tell you is I wish I had left when I was young and the advice I have seen you have gotten has been great.

My avatar which I will be removing in a day or two is my DD and her bf she made this after he died.

I just want you to know I care...